Eyes Closed
Reader [feat Jaebum/Jackson]
Your eyes were piercing, always reaching my very depths each time you looked at me.
You were everything to me; half of my heart, my partner in crime, a parasite I let invade and eat away at me from the inside out.
I never felt anything quite like I did with you. Your love was all consuming, intoxicating and selfish; always keeping me dangling off the edge held only by a thin, fraying rope.
But still, I held on for dear life, needing you to breathe. The thought of being without you was crippling even though you never mirrored my burning passion.
Your world didn’t revolve around me, as mine did around you. I worshiped you as if you were the sun in my sky yet you wouldn’t let me close enough to enter your atmosphere.
The only time you would let your walls down was when we made love. You gave me all of you in those moments. You unleashed a side in me I never knew existed. You were always hungry for my body, giving every inch of it so much love and attention; like I was the only woman in the world you could sate your desires.
You needed me, once. Maybe you even loved me, even if it paled in comparison to my feelings.
When you left me I was broken, lifeless and limp; too weak to carry on.
It took me months to begin to recover. Even now, I’m not the same.
He’s the one that helped me begin to feel normal again. But you ruined me. Because of you, I pushed him away so many times, always challenging his intentions when he never gave me a reason to.
I’m not sure when I finally gave up my fight to keep him at an arm’s distance but here I find myself underneath him, whimpering as he slowly peels the clothing from my body, piece by piece.
I think about your eyes in times like this. It’s those eyes that look back at me, haunting me each time he touches me.
His lips trail my neck, flooding my veins with a fiery need, one you used to make me feel. He’s tender, compassionate, so entranced by everything I do. He loves me, more than you were ever capable of doing.
But still… it’s you in my mind. It’s you I want here, holding me, undressing me, taking me any way you please.
Your name hangs in my breathy pant and I know he hears it.
Whether it’s out of anger or hurt, he plunges into me with a force that nearly knocks the breath right out of my lungs.
He moves in me, pounding viciously in hopes to make me scream his name. He wants me to love him as he does me.
When did I become like you? So cold, so cruel, turning away unconditional love even when I know it’s good for me.
His strong arms lift my legs, sliding deeper now and my thoughts of you start to fade, only able to focus on the pressure between my legs.
He’s coaxing me closer to the brink of madness and I can’t help but give him what he wants.
My eyes shut tightly as my orgasm rips through me with a ferocity that’s blinding.
I hear him, feel him finish right behind me and before I know it, I’m tangled up in his arms. His warm chest heaves, pressing into me as he lands delicate kisses across my face.
I can’t bring myself to open my eyes. I can’t look at him. I can’t see the look of adoration I’m sure he’s giving me. I’m not worthy of it.
So they remain shut, imagining you next to me once more.
If I keep my eyes closed, he looks just like you.