Snarky and Disappointing ™

Good morning Mr. Jigsaw I noticed that this trap has a time limit of 60 minutes but as per my accommodations through the school Center of Disability Resources I get time and a half on exams and quizzes is that still something I can apply to this game right now? Thank you for understanding have a nice day

E.R. Comics, Ryan Pequin

one time my friend had surgery on her hip/knee and we went to visit her in the hospital and she was like “hey guys, check out what i have! it’s this cool button that, when I press it, it gives me more morphine!” and sure enough she had a little tube with one end attached to her IV or whatever and one end with a button on it, and every time she pushed the button it gave her morphine

and she just kept pressing it and pressing it and giggling and getting loopier and loopier, so we went to ask a nurse if that was OK or if she was just going to overdose herself

and the nurse said that the morphine button is on a self timer limit and she had already maxed it out and won’t be able to get more for a few more hours, but she can just press the button as many times as she wants and thanks to her already being on the max dose of morphine she was just placebo effect-ing herself into the fucking stratosphere

it was a great image, my friend over there high as balls like I HAVE UNLIMITED MORPHINE POWER!!!! *press press press press* and the nurse like “nah that button isn’t doing shit but she’s having fun”

girl I would kill myself if I did that lol

reading harry potter actively makes you less literate

j why did you censor the name of the scottish play

I think doing that is way funnier than saying the Scottish play, and I’m not going to risk actually saying the name and having something bad happen

i just realized despite me making fun of you for saying m*cbeth, i refused to say it myself. i am fucked up

even I, the op, flinched while writing it in the notes 😔

do y’all only post from inside a theatre?

All the world's a stage, catgirlforeskin.

So I binged the entirety of How To Build a Sex Room last night and this one scene just cracked me up

The designer's at a western leather/tack store looking for supplies to make a rustic-style sex swing and turns to one of the store employees for advice, which initially goes about as amusingly as you would expect

So then she pulls up some pictures to give him an idea of what she needs

And he's Immediately like

The professional disgust, I'm living

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

get creatured idiot

oh thank fuck i thought i was never gonna get creatured

Does this count as finding a walrus at your door?

Absolutely, and definitely less surprising than a fairy

sure if you live in a submarine

Black Sesame Milk

i lied abt only posting abt this situation once, i just saw this lovely person’s comment!! passing it on to tumblr 🫡

I don’t have time to draw it right now but while driving home from the winco I saw a happy mustached man pedaling a bike, towing a cart built to look like a chariot, inside of which stood what I can only imagine was his completely expressionless 13 year old in a makeshift corinthian helmet

like this

People drawing their encounters instead of filming strangers without their knowledge or consent: my beloved

Love that his reaction to being pranked was to pull the exact same prank on his buddy

It's a good prank when the person you pranked immediately wants in on it, and it doesn't cause any harm.

my favorite babies

having an oc you havent drawn / written about publicly yet that only exist as a concept is so funny. i have special access to this limited edition guy from my brain

I love it when there's a couple but then there's a third guy who's also there and he's part of it but not like romantically he's just a part of the couple but like....platonically

Knife Condemned To Week Inside Saran-Wrapped Brownie Pan

ugh this is so fucking sexy look at it there helpless

*minces onion and garlic for you with romantic intentions*