Alice in Pearls

how the fuck is it december this week 

The math books warned us about you

today: depressed

tomorrow: depressed

next week: depressed

next month: depressed

next year: depressed

next life: depressed

*sees moon* *remembers outer space* nice

my circle so small i be talking to myself

>at the graveyard

>rotten hand thrusts out of the dirt

me: *holds it*

i love a bitch who look like she can fight

My taste in music ranges from “you need to listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

what i have learned from talking about my feelings

im in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs”

me: [listens to own playlist] me: fucking masterpiece

Am I cute? No. But do I have a nice personality? Also no

Do you want to avoid people? Drink water. Not only will you be hydrated, you don’t have to talk to people while drinking water, then later you’ll have to pee, which means you get to avoid people even more

People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?

Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.

i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone

They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

the older you get the more you appreciate just chilling at home doing nothing

remember being 9 and all the shows on cartoon network at the moment sucked and you had no internet and you were like oh fuck i guess i’ll roll down a hill