There is no part of this diatribe that is not amazing or 100% true.

You do not have to look beautiful while walking down the streets. You do not have to look beautiful while eating. You do not have to look beautiful while talking. You do not have to look beautiful while laughing. While doing sports. While having sex. While singing. While dancing. You were not born to look beautiful, my love. You are here to enjoy, to feel, to live. There is no point in worrying what you look like when you are doing things you actually enjoy because that joy will be taken away by the fear of not looking good enough. Again, it is not your purpose to look beautiful, darling. Your purpose is to fall in love with life, to laugh until your belly hurts, to express your feelings, to sing from the top of your lungs, to dance as silly as you want to - without worrying about your appearance. For all that matters is that your soul is beautiful and happy.

Sad? Insecure? Looking for a sign? This 2 minute song may change the way you look at yourself.

Clear your mind here

Clear your mind here

— Carrie Bradshaw, The Carrie Diaries (via hplyrikz)

mood: morning sex and pancakes

— Colleen Michele (via hplyrikz)

Making someone horny when theyre in a really inappropriate place to be horny is my favourite hobby

let me relax……………will comment later…………………..

I. Think I died.

— Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man under Socialism

fuck instagram except for the lesbian couple i follow on there with two kids who got married 10 years ago as a “heterosexual couple” and then one night one of them came out as a lesbian and then the other one came out as a trans woman so they stayed together and now live their best gay life

instagram could burn to the ground and this is the only thing i want remaining

This is the kind of quality gay content I’m here for

@allthesinglelesbians

WE FUCKING STAN

This is gonna sound fucked up but i love tight grapes. You know what I mean when the grape is nice and tight and ur incisors pierce thru them like needles popping a balloon

cashier: I’m sorry it’s going to be a 5 minute wait for your food

old people: let me speak to your manager. This never would have happened in my day. And yet you all want the minimum wage raised. I’m going to kill you.

cashier: I’m sorry it’s going to be a 5 minute wait for your food

millennials: okay, my apologies. I apologize for the inconvenience. I’m sorry I’m here.

me, walking into a store: are you guys busy? i can come back later. please don’t push yourselves on my account. things happen

Had a baby boomer in front of me at the Dairy Queen. She INSISTED she was a Blizzard EXPERT and there was simply NOT ENOUGH chocolate pieces in her blizzard and she wanted to complain to "whoever is in charge". She's going on and on with this teenager. The teenager is calmly explaining they make them all the same etc etc procedure etc etc. But this woman is now yelling at the teen.

So I walk past the woman and put money in teen's tip jar. Haven't even gotten ice cream yet.

Woman looks at me. Turns back and yells some more with the teen. I put more money in the tip jar.

The teen smiles at me. The woman can't think of what to say to me and stops yelling, because I'm looking at her dead in the eye like "atm is over there, I can go all night. The more you yell at her, the more money she makes."

Aggressive generosity to combat boomer selfishness is so punk