since i tend to revisit this blog a lot. People and relationships are ADDICTIVE!!!! There's nothing you can do other than forcing distance with someone you love because you weren't careful or intentional in the beginning. Dysfunction exists within dynamics as well not just people. This person may not be bad to you but the relationship and the lack of boundaries will confuse your expectations to the very core. With those expectations not being met it'll turn into constant agony and eggshells around a person who could've been a great presence in your life. My body is going through physical withdrawals because i have finally decided to set a boundary on my own accord. The act of nonchalance and "chill" girl doesn't get attached type thing has made me an emotional wreck who can't communicate how I feel and ask for the care i need. I have set a boundary the other person isn't even aware of because I'm too sensitive to rejection to let them know that yes my heart has been breaking for a long while now and everytime i move onto someone new with genuine interest my body pulls me back. Relationships are fragile and your emotional needs are your responsibility

update : in a very healthy relationship now. 💗

the black saint & the sinner lady & the dead & the truth, morgan parker // the truth the dead know, anne sexton.

lilith and lucifer by imageenation

Self Protection Jar

This is a throwback to an old spell that uses a lot of sharp items to create a protection jar. Using sharp objects like thumbtacks, pins or broken pieces of glass is a way to create a ‘psychic fence’ so to speak. That way anything negativity coming towards you will be pushed back or deflected by all the sharp objects surrounding your energy field. 

What you’ll need

Cleansing your jar

It’s important to cleanse your jar first and foremost. You can use any jar (Hello salsa and sauce jars!) Clean them out super well. If you are stuck with a smelly jar that has retained a strong odor even after washing out thoroughly you can rinse the jar with vinegar or let it sit overnight. That will usually get rid of any smell. 

Once you have cleaned your jar, I simply cleanse it by using incense. Light your incense and let the smoke thoroughly fill up your jar before releasing it into the air.

What to do

Set up your spell with any provisions you would normally use. Light candles, incense, and have any crystals out that you feel connect you to your magic. Protect your space by imagining a white light in a circle around you encasing the jar and sharp objects inside. 

Place each object inside until your jar is at least ¼ to ½ of the way full. Last, add a lock of hair or item that you chose to bind this jar to you. 

Once everything is inside, close the jar. If you want to seal the jar with wax you can take a candle and drip wax on top of the jar or on the sides letting the wax drop down into the seal. 

Close your spell and release your circle. 

Take your jar and hide it in a dark place where no one will find it. 

SPECIAL SHOT OUT to Obsidian Odyssey for collabing with me and creating the art for this post. Check out her witchy blog! Also she’s an AMAZING artist and has a free coven you can join! 

Tarot Spells

I made a post recently about some of the best card combinations for certain spells, but this is a larger list I have compiled.

Career

New business/project success: The Magician, The Sun, Ace of Wands

Business prosperity: Three of Wands, The Sun, Ace of Pentacles

For a home business: Ace of Wands, Three of Wands, Four of Wands, Nine of Pentacles

For employment: Eight of Pentacles, The Emperor, Judgement, Page of Wands

To get a new job: Ace of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles. Magician

To take your career to the next level: Eight of Pentacles, Six of Wands

To get a promotion: Three of Pentacles, Six of Wands

Money

To receive a windfall: Ace of Pentacles and Wheel of Fortune together

Prosperity and money: Ten of Pentacles, Knight of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles, Six of Pentacles, Ace of Pentacles

Home and Family

Fertility: The Sun, Ten of Cups, Ace of Wands

To find a new home: Ace of Pentacles, Four of Wands

To have a child: The Empress, Queen of Pentacles, Ace of Wands, Six of Cups

To get married: The Hierophant, Four of Wands, Ten of Cups

To bring peace to a home: The Star, Temperance

Truce in family quarrels: Two of Swords, Ten of Cups, Two of Cups

Health

To overcome a bad habit: Strength, Temperance, Judgement, The World

Healing and good health: Strength, The World, The Magician, The Sun, The Star, Three of Cups

Stress relief: Hanged Man, Ace of Cups, Temperance, Four of Cups

To improve mental health: Page of Swords, Ace of Swords, Six of Swords

To heal an illness: Queen of Cups, Two of Pentacles

To relieve a long-term condition: The Sun

Preserve beauty and health, and delay aging: Ace of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, The Hanged Man, The Star

Reverse aging: The Hermit, Judgement, The World

Love and Friendship

Friendship: Three of Cups, Two of Cups, Knight of Cups

For love: The Lovers, Knight of Cups, The Star

To attract love: Ace of Cups, Two of Cups, Lovers

To make friends: Three of Cups

Progress

Action/to set things in motion: The Chariot, Ace of Wands, Eight of Wands

For courage: The Star, Strength, The Chariot

For inspiration, ideas and creativity: The Magician, The Moon, The Star

For success: The Chariot, Six of Wands, Five of Wands

For success in the arts: The Star, The Magician, The Sun

Overcoming obstacles: Two of Cups, The Chariot, Strength

Self-improvement and transformation: Temperance, The World, Judgement, The Magician, Strength, High Priestess, The Chariot

To bring about change: Wheel of Fortune, The Magician, Eight of Wands, Judgement

To help with a decision: Justice, The Hermit, The Star, The Lovers

For success when faced with competition: Five of Wands, The Chariot, Six of Wands

Dreams

For dream work: The Star, The Moon, Ace of Cups, High Priestess

For good dreams: Ace of Cups, The Moon, The Star

For prophetic dreams: The High Priestess, The Moon, The Hermit

Other

For binding spells: Temperance, Two of Swords, Eight of Swords, Hanged Man

For knowledge: The Hermit, High Priestess, The Moon

For protection: The Star, The Chariot, Temperance, Four of Wands

Happiness and positive energy: The Sun, The World, Ace of Cups

Luck: The World, The Star, Wheel of Fortune

To develop psychic abilities: The High Priestess, Two of Swords, The Moon

To pass an exam: Ace of Pentacles, Eight of Pentacles, Six of wands

To release guilt and pain: The Moon, Judgement, The World

Get away from a bad situation: Wheel of Fortune, Eight of Cups, The World

Adjusting to traumatic change: Wheel of Fortune The Magician, The World

Is university going to be as horrifying and mechanical as school?

MUCH WORSE, every 10 year old evil incarnate finally gets the freedom to be unleashed through people pleasing broke 20 somethings until they finally find courage to fix themselves and OH MY GOD getting caught in other people's healing phases is such a PAIN

Old Lilithian, new blog

Hello. The best way I can think to describe myself is as a Lilithian gnostic, and this is my little corner of the internet for my work.

I study all aspects of Lilithian history, by all of her names which hold merit and truth in the telling (Lamia, Sophia Nigrans, Al Qarinah, Striga, Zahriel, to name but a few). I also touch on the archetypes that overlap her own, including Lucifer, Barbelo, Baphomet, Sophia, Black Madonna, and Leviathan.

In my esoteric practice, I work with the UPG that I experience, which takes a distinctly gnostic and anticosmic bent. I view Lilith as manifold, existing in many incarnations, which is why I study her so broadly. No singular story tells her wisdom. I also believe that her manifestations include the Lilithian spark of her human children. In some respects I think of “Lilith” as not only an entity, but also a title, similarly to the way Mandaeans conceptualize it.

I’d love to discuss more with either new or experienced Lilithians. If you are someone who has felt Lilith’s call from childhood or early life, I would love to share notes with you — we appear to be rare.

I do not fully identify with the paradigms assigned to her in the usual narratives of Satanism, neopaganism, or Abrahamism. My study focuses on freeing the Lilith archetype from patriarchal neutering — which includes not just the natalist demonization of her, but also the peddling of her as an on-demand sex object, and the defanging of her as a benign fertility goddess. Part of the reasoning for taking my own path is that I feel that none of the popular paradigms offer an honest acknowledgment of her complex, sometimes bright and sometimes dark character.

I do not do any substantial amount of spell work. I find it counterproductive to my esoteric goal of gnosis. I also do not “worship” in the way most people understand it, although I do commune and pay respects.

Welcome, and I hope you find something useful.

Elvi Maarni.

it’s like they almost get it

I feel like adhd bored is different than neurotypical bored because like. You don’t understand. I have a billion things I could be doing. I turn on the tv. I stare at the Netflix screen for five minutes. Flip through shows and movies for the next thirty minutes. Nothing looks good. I put in a video game. Play for two minutes. Not feeling it. I load up YouTube. Watch half a video before closing the app. Maybe I’ll read a book? I stare at my giant bookshelf. The thought of starting a new book seems too hard. I lay in bed and play phone games for six hours. Nothing has gotten done. Still bored.

I feel like a better term for this experience is “restless.” 

Sometimes nothing sounds good; I have a specific experiential craving or itch that needs to be scratched but I don’t know what it is or how to placate it so I will rapidly cycle through activities in search of something that will provide the level/type of stimulation I crave. Like a tiger pacing in the zoo. 

It’s a really bad, unbearably vibratey itchy feeling. A craving for relief that takes too great a mental effort to overcome.

It can be physical too…sometimes if I don’t walk/pace it feels like my bones are squiggly and it’s as unpleasant as it sounds

that went hella left

what internecine affections we brew

in a cup; two spoonfuls of sugar, and a pinch of courage against consequences

like tongues wrapped around a blade, double-edged and cold

watching the sun dip into melancholy

i can never rest my eyes truly until the light dies

and now these hands that expedite obsolescence, caught up in a rabid frenzy

between critique and fetishism,

euphemism for an apocalypse, when we embark upon this most sinful disregard for

maelstroms and other things, swirling in the cup

the darkest night when icarus fell

and the sun raced along the edge of the horizon, a little too slow for damaged wings

a love consummated through sacrifice

what are we if not icarus and the sun

gliding wilfully over callous notions, till my wings melt

a little premature for your sunset

what malady must overcome

for the sun to never set, and for icarus to fall upwards

suspending hope in time, decaying endlessly

- ssulphxr

— Andrea Gibson (via loveliest)