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ms. violacea

@msviolacea / msviolacea.tumblr.com

current loves: FFXIV, Honkai Star Rail, cozy farming and otome games, TTRPG nonsense, romance novels always. probably older than you.
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Pinned Post

about me

A couple of recent posts seem to have drawn more than a handful of non-bot followers, so hello! It’s probably time for a pinned post with some info that seems important to various parts of Tumblr.

Hi, I’m Jaime! I am Very Old in Tumblr terms - you’ll see me talking about my actual age if you stick around, but I don’t post my age in my bio, because random passers-by don’t need to know.

I live in the American Midwest, I’m queer, and I’ve got neurodivergencies/mental health issues that will occasionally come up in posts. 

I don’t automatically follow back. I learned a while ago that happiness is a manageably sized dashboard. 

I am extremely multifandom. Whatever you see posted here right now is subject to change on a whim. 

I write fanfic (when my brain allows), play video games and TTRPGs, and love many many things related to the SFF and romance genres.

I like a lot of things in my fanfic and other fanworks that others find distasteful. I have very, very few things I will judge you for liking in your fiction. 

If you’re not down with all varieties of queer - or the use of the word queer as a general community term - this is not a place for you. 

The ask box is always open - I may be slow to answer sometimes, because brain weasels, but I do love getting messages from folks! Feel free to introduce yourself, or just poke me if we’ve been mutuals for a while. 

That’s probably good for the basics. Thanks for following, I hope to get to know some of you!

#pinned post#about me
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unionizedwizard

& specifically about gratitude.... it's something that's actually a lot more complex than what it is generally said about it i feel because this exact rhetoric is very often used by abusive parents in particular. i know this is a general strategy of abusive parents hence why i'm mentioning it, but mine really loved guilt-tripping me about literally EVERYTHING. like i was shamed for every single bite i ate, every single cent spent in my name (even though they had plenty of money to spare) well into adulthood, my grandma especially loved to repeat dozens and dozens of times a day, completely unprompted, that i was "spoiled" because i was living in a house and had my own bed and went to school. everything i received i was expected to be grateful for, not like a child but like a sinner being granted unearned special treatment by a deity. and it was always a thinly veiled threat. i was deemed "cruel and selfish ingrate (unrepentent)" so many times and it's a really sore spot. and once again this is a basic tool of abusive parents. to this day i have a panic attack if anyone spends money or time or effort for my sake.

and it's very complicated because people are like. "to be happy you need to practice gratitude!" and it is true! appreciating what you already have really does make you happier and more attuned to your environment and more tranquil and all. but to traumatized people who went through this kind of shit before it's just. making it worse. like it just highlights the fact you're supposedly selfish and a parasite and evil. so it's a really complicated process. if the gratitude part makes you feel angry and helpless maybe that's what happened to you i think.

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ecosystem-administrator

I was reading about this kind of thing just like, literally earlier today, and my new understanding is that like… expressing gratitude doesn't even necessarily count as "practicing" gratitude. What does help people is experiencing gratitude, quietly and internally. It's even recommended that you can practice it by empathizing with people who are being grateful for something - watching a "thank you" video online and opening yourself up to those emotions will do you more good than a ritualized and performative affirmation journal. Literally practicing emotions by empathizing with other people is way more effective than trying to force a performance of something you're not sure you feel.

#god ecoysystem-administrator hit on something i hadn't verbalized yet#what we talk about as gratitude is not simply the words 'thank you'#it's a whole process of opening yourself up to feelings and emotions that may feel cringe#but are still necessary to your mental survival#it's the delicate act of balancing the fact that there are things in your life you deserve to be angry about#with the fact that holding ONLY anger and fear inside you is doing yourself harm#it's accepting that you're worth acknowledging the good things about you and around you#no matter how small#that there are moments of good even when everything seems hopeless#and that those moments are important
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the12thnightproject
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writing-wednesday

In need of vacation? Would you consider... Creative Retreat [Discord Server]?

To create is lovely. To create together? Lovelier.

@the12thnightproject and @lorei-writes would like to invite you to the Creative Retreat. <3

What is Creative Retreat?

Creative Retreat discord server is a place dedicated to all creative spirits. As much as we enjoy making things, it sometimes can be hard to go on our own. So why not come together and support each other?

Genuine feedback, impromptu grammar support, beta-reading, crafting tips, a second pair of eyes to look at your artwork, sharing useful resources, discussing idea bunnies, talking about our goals and celebrating our accomplishments -- we hope to provide the environment for that and much more :)

Who can join?

We welcome all creative people, both fandom and original creators.

How to join?

Contact @lorei-writes or @the12thnightproject to get an invite link.

#signal boost!#i'm part of this server and it's lovely#if you want a bunch of very cool people to help motivate/cheer your creative endeavors on#come join us!

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