"We bruise too easily, we bleed too much. And we leave nothing but pain in our wake. We're toxic. Anyone comes near us and their lives become radioactive" is such a raw quote you would think tumblr made it up for Goncharov but no it's from The Spectacular Spider-Man (1976) #200, written by JM DeMatteis,

Effeminate dentist: You need to brush more on your gums-- hold on why am I "effeminate?" What? I'm literally just a normal dentist. A masculine one, even.

Me: (struggling to speak through the dentist's fingers) youw weren't shupposhed to shee that

Gil Wulfenbach, stupid, demi: Oh, if only my Standards were not So High, perhaps I could Find Love. Alas, as it is I will likely Die Alone, because of my Standards. Ohhhh, ow, my Standards.

#leave him alone he’s dumb

I Will Not.

tag via @tarvek-sturmvoraus

Tumblr adding polls was the best thing because it doesn’t matter what you’re asking, tumblr users LOVE sharing their opinions. You could ask something wildly abstract like “What cardinal direction do you associate with the person you reblogged this from?” and by the end of the day it’ll have 20k notes and there’s probably some kind of discourse happening in the replies.

Tumblr, you do not understand how little I want another 20k post.

how could you do this to me.

just when i thought my comics couldn't get dumber... i surprise myself 👭

In honor of our very first sneak peek of the movie Wicked, my nostalgia kicked into high gear and I'm honoring one of my earliest fandom crazes with a silly little comic I'm calling "Fiyero Doesn't Get Enough Recognition For All The Shit He's Been Through."

Enjoy Fiyero having the weirdest 72 hours of his life.

Sequel comic here.

And here he meets the Lion.

looking at some of the implications that are going into helmsmanfic right now and realizing i have once a-fucking-gain made leo my Special Little Boy. oops. i regret nothing

#the goal is actually to make each of the turtles my Special Little Boy in their own unique ways #they are collectively my special little boys and they each deserve a personalized deranged way to shine

Was going to start a follow up conversation asking what Mikey's flavor of special little boy was to you and then I realized I'd forgotten the cannibalism casualness thing.

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

this is what microwaving leftover pizza feels like

stop it i was trying to be gothic

GET WEIRD!

had to make the inverse situation of this. lets give it up for time blindness yayyy

SPOOKTOBER 2022 - DRACULA MAY 16

Oh, to be our dear friend, Jonathan Harker, in the presence of four sexy vampires ready to ravage him. I wish!

Yup just like the rest of tumblr, I’ve been reading Dracula Daily and it’s freaking awesome! I’m enjoying it way more than I expected to so I wanted to draw a few of my favourite scenes to start off this year’s Spooktober!! 

A genius scientist who became a vampire after an accident & A monster friend who keeps being altered her body by the scientist to avoid death (they used to be normal human best friends)

So the banner ad didn’t scale down for the mobile browser and it took me multiple minutes to realize that this stock photo of people in business suits was not, in fact, an illustration of what oathbreaker paladins in service to an evil power are supposed to look like

Every trip to the DC National Airport feels like you’re in one of the satirical ads in Robocop

Do not leave this in the fucking tags op

in which marinette learns to never change her suit ever again