@hotforharrison / hotforharrison.tumblr.com
Hπ Masterlist (1,895 words) Incomplete
You meet Harrison unexpectedly at a crafting meetup at a BDSM dungeon β flirty, gorgeous, British Harrison. By his looks and accent alone, you could honestly see yourself having a thing for him. Life is never that simple, though.
Tags:Β Fic RecsΒ +Β Harrison Icons
Fic Recs Side BlogΒ (mostly NSFW)
Tom Side Blogs: Thirst
I broke down and told him that he used to feel like home, but now it feels like the outside of the house is fine, but the inside is empty and hollow.
That his touch doesn't bring the comfort that it used to. It feels different in a way that's completely and totally wrong, and I hate it when I need nothing more than comfort.
It feels wrong for him, too, different in a bad way.
I asked him how I was supposed to fix this, that I could change my actions and do what needs to be done to improve our relationship, but I don't know how to change my feelings.
He said we can talk about it with the marriage counselor on Thursday.
I feel like this will be the last session, that things have come to their unfortunate conclusion.
I couldn't stop crying at the thought.
He's never been good at dealing with me crying, not in any of the 17 years we've been together.
It's one of his girlfriend's nights, and I told him I wouldn't keep him away from her, that there's nothing he can really do regardless.
He said he's spending the night at her place. I understand.
I don't know how to cope with all of these feelings that are literally physically painful. They feel like they're going to burst out of my chest at any moment.
I've romantically loved two people in my life -- my first "partner," if you could call him that, and my husband.
The most emotional hurt I'd had in my life up until these last few months was with my first partner.
After spending a year "together" in a very fucked up relationship, he decided that he would "let" me be his girlfriend, and I was elated.
It lasted 24 hours before he took it back, and it felt like a boulder fell from the sky and crushed me.
I transferred to a college in another country to be with him, and after I graduated and moved back home, I cut him off completely. Blocked him on everything without warning him, so he couldn't convince me to change my mind like he had so many times in the past for so many things -- things I never thought I'd compromise on.
I knew our relationship was toxic for me, and I needed to move forward with my life, even though it was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do in my 21 years of life.
And I did move forward and move on, a tiny step at a time, until I was healed enough to find real love.
I did find real love, the kind that I'd always dreamed of. I met my husband a year after I graduated, and we were very much in love for a very long time.
Fast forward 17 years later, and I'm now no longer in love, and neither is he, at least not with me.
I'm not sure what I am when it comes to him, maybe just in hurt.
But I'm afraid that if it stops hurting that it will truly be over for me, and that is utterly and completely terrifying.
I want nothing more than to be in love again, to recapture the thing I lost because I was careless.
I want to be comforted, to be held, but when he holds me, it feels hollow.
I hate it.
It feels so strange that he is with me, but I desperately miss him -- the him and the me that we used to be.
I'm not sure who I'm going to be in 6 months, a year, beyond that.
I hope that she finds, or recaptures, love and happiness.
I might not feel like it sometimes right now, but she does deserve that.
Frankly, this close friendship between Harrison and fashion designer Daniel W. Fletcher seems odd. Maybe I'm exaggerating. I generally understand why and how Harrison interacts with him. It's some way of networking in the fashion industry and generally a chance for interesting introductions etc. But I still don't like it lol
I know he's also good friends with Joshua Kane, another fashion designer, and has been for years. Maybe he's hoping for more modeling work, in addition to networking?
I mean he hasn't had any acting work lately, and I'm not sure how profitable his other ventures are at this point. They're both pretty new, and most businesses operate at a loss for the first couple of years, until they're established. And some don't make it to the point of profitability at all.
Is there something bad about Daniel that I don't know? I'm not super familiar with him. I just follow him on Instagram for potential Harrison content, like a lot of other people he interacts with on a regular or semi-regular basis.
I know there's been a couple of other questionable people Harrison has spent time with in the past.
