Fuck No, Fortunato!

I love all books but sometimes you read a book and you’re like so were all 21 thousand of you blindfolded and at gun point when you rated it 5 stars

Once upon a time a game developer traded their soul for hyperrealistic human pores and in return the devil took away Finished Game and Only Pay One Time, things we didn’t even know were optional

The lake town

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

people will design soap dispensers and dish racks and go like it's okay if this is capable of getting rusty, right. that's an acceptable weak point for an item whose sole immutable destiny is to get wet every time it's used, right

i have crazy garlic fingers from peeling and chopping garlic cloves yesterday this phenomenon is always fascinating to me because it reminds me that i, too, am made of meat, and therefore i am also susceptible to being seasoned

I could go for some crazy garlic fingers

I'm out of weed so I have to smoke thw one that makea me scared

You7 are doing some Cocomelon shit to me

anybody out there hiring gay losers. ideally a 100k/year salary and i work for one hour every day when i feel like it. thanks

“the Pam to my Jim” “flirt to roast ratio” “fluent in sarcasm” “not political” “hobbies: travel” “debate me: the office or friends” “just here for your dog” “like Chandler and Monica” “girls on lexapro” “helen keller wasn’t real” “looking for a goth mommy” “pineapple does not go on pizza” “i’m a slytherin”

unparalleled image

i always feel like i’ve forgotten something :,)