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@laurlovescookies / laurlovescookies.tumblr.com

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reblogged

Let me ask you, dear listener, do you truly know what could have run through the mind of Emile von Bartels that fateful day? What was the true motive behind the slaughter?

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reblogged
Mercedes: So you believe me?
Jeritza: You are the last good person on the face of this miserable planet.
Jeritza: I’d believe cartoon birds made your hair this morning.
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“Lord Byron gets up at two. I get up, quite contrary to my usual custom … at 12. After breakfast we sit talking till six. From six to eight we gallop through the pine forest which divide Ravenna from the sea; we then come home and dine, and sit up gossiping till six in the morning. I don’t suppose this will kill me in a week or fortnight, but I shall not try it longer. Lord B.’s establishment consists, besides servants, of ten horses, eight enormous dogs, three monkeys, five cats, an eagle, a crow, and a falcon; and all these, except the horses, walk about the house, which every now and then resounds with their unarbitrated quarrels, as if they were the masters of it… . [P.S.] I find that my enumeration of the animals in this Circean Palace was defective … . I have just met on the grand staircase five peacocks, two guinea hens, and an Egyptian crane. I wonder who all these animals were before they were changed into these shapes.”

— Percy Bysshe Shelley on the lifestyle of Lord Byron (via timemarauder)

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lav-jam
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pengychan

My brother's girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it's completely free if you're in one of the "at risk" groups.

"What does that mean," he asks. "It's free if you're gay," he's told. "Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or...?" "Just put in a check mark here."

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he's stingy as it gets. So now he's officially gay. Congrats bro.

"Doctor, give it to me straight" "You sure, there's a fee" "… Give it to me gay"

AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)

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battlships

Fascinated by the fact that his first question was about if he'd have to prove it. I wanna know how far that man would go to save less than a dollar

Sorry, do you think 87 euros is less than a dollar

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fieldbears
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the-pen-pot

For those not sure, 87 euros is a little over 93 US dollars at the moment (Feb 2024)

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Yeah you say this, except there's a good chance you were chronically dehydrated as a kid. The reason you didn't think you were is because a) no one was talking about dehydration at the time, and b) the effects weren't immediately obvious.

But when my grown-up massage clients get on my table and I have to keep reapplying lotion because their skin absorbs the first layer immediately? When they have a million "knots" because their soft tissue fibers got dried out, lost their elasticity and became sticky, basically glued themselves together, and now it hurts when you move your arm like this, or your neck is always achey?

Yeah, that's chronic dehydration. That's shit that builds up over years of not drinking enough water (and/or not stretching, and/or having shitty posture, and/or not healthily processing your difficult emotions, and/or...)

Health is mostly maintenance. You have to act in "healing" ways consistently if you don't want to spend your life in a cycle of pain -> fix -> same pain again. And the younger you start, the better your results will be.

So yeah, treat the youth and yourself like beached orcas and drink that water.

So yeah, treat the youth

and yourself like beached orcas

and drink that water.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

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So... I found this and now it keeps coming to mind. You hear about "life-changing writing advice" all the time and usually its really not—but honestly this is it man.

I'm going to try it.

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missroserose

I love the lawyer metaphor, because whenever I see “John knew that...” in prose writing I immediately think “how?  How does he know it?”  Interrogate your witnesses.  Cross-examine them.  Make them explain their reasoning.  It pays dividends.

All of this, but also feels/felt. My editor has forbidden me from using those and it’s forced me to stretch my skills.

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ineedthesons

This is your "show not tell" advice explained!

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reblogged

And I whisper to myself, I am safer alone.

Wasted, Marya Hornbacher / . / . / . / painting by Mladen Ilic / Paul Auster / Letters To Milena, Franz Kafka / Wide Sargasso Sea, Jean Rhys / The Departure Of The Train, Clarice Lispector / Beau Taplin
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I’m so mad because this worked

help me roger

Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?

O_O

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riskpig

………my friend has made me curious

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maryburgers

help me roger

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

These never work for me, but here’s to trying.

  1. I don’t believe in these things
  2. But last time I reblogged one ten/fifteen minutes later I got a call offering me a job
  3. But I reblogged it because I was waiting on hearing back from the job. So there you go.
  4. Roger is cute.

Eh Roger is cute I might as well

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secondlina

That fish is so happy it makes me happy.

I have no luck right now. Halp.

Why does this have so many notes

because its not one of your posts.

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ana-logical

Roger is precious to me.

Help me Roger

I mean…. my page is dead anyways. No one comments or asks questions via the ask thing so I guess I could.

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