something’s waiting on the backroads

i watch baseball for the side quests

throwback to 2021 when the exact same player started doing this extended water bottle bincoculars sight gag in the dugout

this is the same guy who also made himself a fruit cocktail midgame. he is The manic pixie dream girl

baseball is actually not a sport it’s just a documentary of human nature and how we battle boredom. the stuff these teams get up to while they’re waiting their turn.

and it’s hilarious when they pull pranks on each other, like attaching things to other people’s caps:

or the beloved hot foot prank:

or when they decided to put a guy’s pants over his head and make it seem like he was walking on his hands:

or when they opposing pitchers took turns playing tic tac toe every time they got on the mound:

i take back everything bad i've ever said about baseball these boys can fucking Post

Sometimes you have to entertain yourself out in the field too, like the time Victor Robles made friends with a praying mantis.

and some college baseball shenanigans

medieval peasant: I see... so, it is the case that there are many paintings within this magical book? it is not so strange after all.

me, trying to show him tumblr to scare him: I was kind of hoping this would be a bit more confusing to you

peasant, suddenly pointing at the screen: hark! cynocephali

dream job local radio show host in antarctica. good evening everyone the sun is cowardly and the wind is razors. hug the person nearest to you and breathe together alive. its snowing again all white in my eyes when i look out its like angels homecoming. rest in peace jason and tim who saw something that got smaller the more it moved toward them and went outside to check it out. whatevers going on beyond here might as well be on another planet so its a slow news day as always. i will be seeing you in an hour again please enjoy martin solveig and the dragonettes hello

the video for weird al's 'the saga begins' unsettles me bcos every time i watch it i become aware that i would probably not be able to recognise Weird Al without his distinctive hair

i have never seen this man before in my life.

an Al?

WEIRD THE AL????

in one of those phases of crippling existential self-doubt where the nervous horse that controls my productivity is just lying down in the mud and won't get up. the horse is asking questions like do I deserve carrot for big jump if big jump meaningless and is it wrong to be a horse. I'm trying to goad it with compliments and treats but so far the horse won't bite, it's too busy ruminating about the cosmic value of horses

we're telling the horse you can make the jump, you're such a special horse for being able to do the big jump, everybody loves it when they get to watch a big jump, you will get so many carrots, and the horse is not buying it. it's just snorting at us. the horse is saying well there are other horses and flicking mud at us with its tail without getting up. we're telling the horse: but not for us! you're the only horse in the world to us! what must we offer you, nervous horse? o, nervous horse, take pity on your believers!

the horse is questioning the validity of a system in which carrots are rewarded to horses who make the big jumps, seeing as every horse wants a carrot and big jumpers are few, and wants to know why we can't love it for its talents in identifying threats like plastic bags blowing in the wind & being so alert it has a nervous breakdown, instead of expecting it to jump all the time, and perhaps the horse would enjoy a career in calligraphy or nursing instead of this jumping for carrots rigamarole. our negotiator was forced to state that the horse is, nonetheless, a horse. the atmosphere remains tense.

I am not spiralling, I am just following a suspiciously curved path

Does Marge have friends? by  Raphael Bob-Waksberg — i’ve read this a couple years ago and it has always stayed with me…wanted to draw to it

Raphael Bob-Waksberg is the creator of the Netflix series BoJack Horseman.

“The average person thinks about the Roman Empire every day” factoid is a statistical error. Tumblr users in March -

they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes

anyways good morning to fallen women, those who give into temptation, hedonists, pleasure-seekers reaping the consequences, pleasure-seekers who suffer not one consequence, addicts former and current, and goblin fruit eaters

10 year old me was like when wings sprout from my spine then you’ll see.. you’ll all see…

please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit