Avatar

Bitch Ass

@fluorescent-ovaries / fluorescent-ovaries.tumblr.com

Gabe. 21. Pan. Nonbinary. they/ them. 🐘🐘🐘
Avatar
Avatar
paxamericana
Avatar
f1rstperson

Glad to see my lifelong disinterest in golf is paying off

let me tell you about golf

i grew up in a little desert valley called Tucson, Arizona, where it only rains 2 inches a year on average. the majority of the city’s water is pumped from an underground aquifer, which took millions of years to fill. one of the biggest conservation efforts in our city was for water, naturally, and i spent a lot of time learning about low flow toilets and 5 minute showers. i learned that filling your sink basin and washing your dishes in that water is less costly than running the tap. i learned that it only takes 2 days without water on the desert for someone to die

the city was sinking as the aquifer drained. neighborhoods fell into flood zones that didnt exist 10 years ago

there’s a road called Golf Links in the city and it is lined with golf courses. miles of green grass where grass doesn’t grow, in a valley where it doesn’t rain. why? because the rich white retirees who moved there to stop the aching in their joints decided they should also get to play golf. meanwhile our public schools taught small children like me that taking long showers would kill the world

let the golf industry burn

Avatar
ralfmaximus

There are 15,500+ golf courses in the United States alone. 

That consumption is equivalent to 55+ million humans per day in the United States… roughly 1/6 the entire population.

We simply cannot sustain this frivolity, especially for something 99% of us will never use.

Avatar
zooophagous

Destroy golf courses and plant wild grasses and butterfly bushes in their place.

Avatar

[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.

you took this from a fault in our stars augustus does the same thing only with a cigarette ok ok

i don’t know what you’re talking about this is an excerpt from my upcoming 100% original novel “the fart in our stalls”

Avatar

when your parents are giving you lectures on life lessons you’ve already learned through traumatic experiences they don’t know about 

Image
Avatar
Avatar
sixpenceee

At 1.2 kg (2.6 pounds), this is the largest free form black opal in the world, discovered by a miner in Lightning Ridge, Australia. Photography by Christine Roussel.

Avatar
matstanford

Looks like that 100 layer nail polish nonsense

Avatar
Avatar
qozxe

One of my friends was selling his gameboy controlled sewing machine so of COURSE I had to buy it

This is a real peripheral that literally exists in the world we live in. This wasn’t even hacked together. This was an official product.

Avatar

Whoever may be reading this,

you are not seeing this on accident. This is your reminder that you will be okay, no matter how not okay life seems. Please try to remember nothing lasts forever, and the pain you are dealing with today will shape you to the person you are tomorrow. Good things are coming your way, be patient and they will come when you don’t expect it. You are loved and you matter, never let anyone make you think anything less than that. 

Avatar

Songs that never fail to make white people beyond turnt

  •  Don’t Stop Believing 
  • Bohemian Rhapsody 
  • Living On A Prayer 
  • Come On Eileen 
  • Sweet Caroline 
  • Shot Through the Heart 
  • Pour Some Sugar on Me 
  • Sweet Home Alabama 
  • Under Pressure 
  • Shook Me All Night Long 
  • Ice Ice Baby 
  • Cotton Eyed Joe
  • 500 Miles
  • Wonderwall 
  • Buddy Holly 
  • A Thousand Miles 
  • Teenage Dirtbag 
  • Red Solo Cup 
  • Mr Brightside 
  • Never Gonna Give You Up 
  • Eye of the Tiger 
  • Chicken Fried 
  • American Pie 
  • I Love Rock and Roll 
  • Dancing Queen 
  • Don’t You Want Me
  • We Will Rock You 
  • The Time Warp 
  • Hey Jude 
  • Piano Man
  • This Is How We Do It
  • Drops of Jupiter 
  • Hey Soul Sister
  • In The End 
  • All The Small Things 
  • Stacy’s Mom 
  • Kryptonite 
  • All Star 
  • You Found Me
  • Bad Day 
  • Bring Me To Life 
  • Dance, Dance
  • Sugar We’re Going Down 
  • I Write Sins Not Tragedies 
  • All The Small Things 
  • Ocean Avenue 
  • Dirty Little Secret 
  • Margaritaville 
  • Sk8er Boi
  • Brown Eyed Girl 
  • Life Is A Highway 
  • Some Nights 
  • Little Lion Man 
  • Breakeven
  • Hey There Delilah 
  • Viva La Vida
  • Use Somebody 
  • Carry On My Wayward Son 
  • Take On Me
  • 1985 
  • Iris 
  • I’m Awesome 
  • Seven Nation Army 
  • September 
  • Since U Been Gone
  • Skinny Love 
  • Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)
  • Bye Bye Bye 
  • Say It Ain’t So 
  • Somewhere Only We Know 
  • I’m Yours 
  • Last Resort 
  • My Girl 
  • Tiny Dancer 
  • Roxanne
  • Shout 
  • I’m a Believer 
  • Soul Man
  • Feel Good Inc 
  • Check Yes Juliet
  • Walking On Sunshine 
  • MMM Bop
  • Pumped up Kicks 
  • Hooked On A Feeling 
  • It’s A Beautiful Day
  • Summer Girls 
  • Before He Cheats 
  • Happy Together
  • You Make My Dreams Come True
  • Build Me Up Buttercup
  • Escape (The Pina Colada Song)
  • DONTTRUSTME
  • Shake It (Metro Station)
  • Juke Box Hero
  • Girls Just Want To Have Fun

Rebloging with the playlist.

as a white I can confirm the accuracy of this playlist

If you don’t lose your titties with excitement over this playlist you don’t have a soul!

homeskillet, i’m mexican american and i can confirm that this gets the white in me turnt af

Ain’t gonna lie

Avatar
Avatar
ultrafacts

Whittier, Alaska, is a town of about 200 people, almost all of whom live in a 14-story former Army barracks built in 1956. The building, called Begich Towers, holds a police station, a health clinic, a church, and a laundromat. Its hallways resemble those of a school . One can often find residents shuffling around in slippers and pajamas.

Because the winters are so ferocious, the town’s only playground is indoors.

(Fact Sources+more info+pics: 1 2) Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

This is some dystopian young adult novel bull.

Avatar
jmindigo

To be fair pretty much all of Alaska is some dystopian young adult novel bull in one way or another. 

I have only been to the outside of Whittier, that one time I took the ferry from Valdez, and it’s grim-looking as hell.

This also neglects to mention that the only ways to reach Whittier are either the aforementioned ferry, bush plane, or a 2.5 mile-long, approximately 15′x15′ tunnel through a mountain that looks like this inside:

Image
Image

The AKDOT website reassures us that “During the 1964 Good Friday Earthquake (the greatest magnitude earthquake ever recorded in North America) the tunnel suffered no significant structural damage and no cave-ins.”

Also please note that though most of the population now lives in the Begich Towers, the townspeople used to reside in the Buckner Building, which is now abandoned and just. Sitting there. Empty. The building that used to be a whole town. Looking super fucking haunted:

“The constant sound of cascading water echoes throughout the complex. Bears have been reported both wandering the upper floors in the spring and hibernating on the lower floors during winter.” 

that last building isn’t abandoned, it literally says the bears live there now.

This is some Metro 2033 shit. I love it.

Avatar
Avatar
periles

Annie are you woke, bae? Are you woke, bae? Are you woke, bae Annie

tested this post out on my boyfriend and he responded with a frowny face

you’ve been hit by - you’ve been cucked by - a smooth liberal

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.