♦ Hehehehe. ♦ Hahahaha. ♦ Hehaheha.

♦;; Uggghhhhh. The holidays. Far too much eggnog and candy canes. Blech!

Well, anyways. I’ve decided to come out of semi-retirement for a while. Not that I’ve ever lost interest in the Clown Prince of Crime! It’s just that.. Well, I am in my mid-20′s and attending graduate school and sometimes things just get in the way of ol’ painted lips here. What the heck?! I’ll offer some DC peeps the chance to plot or chat! C’mon. Let’s end this year right!  CONSIDER THIS A PLOTTING CALL.

@ofkatana

♦ When Katana came to, the warrior was bound to a chair. A strange cackling sound filled the air and when her eyes adjusted to the light, she was able to see a ghostly pale man with reddened lips and emerald hair standing over her, encircled by several other masked men. He was tall and thin, with a wide smile carved onto his face: The Joker. They’d never before met, with the only information she could know about him arise from stories that Harley Quinn could’ve told her. The clowned man gave the warrior a small wave as consciousness returned to her. 

“Oh, yoo-hoo! Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!”

His voice was chipper and polite, belying any sinister undertones that he held to the woman. He leaned down, face to face with the hero before speaking again; his tone pleasant. “I’m sorry there, Knives. Didn’t mean to get the drop on you; but if you’d have it your way, I’m sure I’d be in ribbons right about now! Hehe.” His smile faded slightly, his manic hues looking into her’s. “I’ve heard about you. Katana! Mystical, samurai warrior! Destined to destroy Aku, or something along those lines. Uses a soul-stealing sword? What a gimmick! Hahaha.” The pale man let down another pause. “Could you possibly have any idea what I would want with you, my dear?”

@formidolumina

♦ “You know, it’s impolite to sneak up on someone. You might scare them. But then again, you must be used to that, what with looking like Lucifer himself! Ha ha ha!” The Joker turned around to face the fiery-skinned man, that famous grin ever-etched onto his face. He looked as if he were approaching a long-forgotten friend, though he was sure that this was the first time that they had ever met. Then again, who was counting all of the years and bruises at this point. “You know, Sinbad, I’m a fan of your work. Can’t be easy trying to scare the entire universe. But if this about that who Sinister Corps thing again, you really should be asking Crane, err.. Sorry.. Scarecrow. The old sport’s been trying to take a cue from you for years and all he’s managed to do is get a few kids to stop watching Jeepers Creepers on the weekends. Ha!” He tilted his head at the alien, pausing a moment to look over the humanoid glow stick. *Sigh* “For what it’s worth I really am flattered that you want me to join Team Instinct and all, but I’ve already told you that yellow’s just not my color. And I doubt you’ve got anything in purple. Hehehehe.”

@jokers-boytoy

♦ Another night, another lost battle. This had become too frequent for the clown’s tastes. Sure, they had gotten away once again, Joker and Harley, but who knew how long their luck would keep holding out. Or rather, was it bad luck? Who would’ve ever guessed that the Bat had known exactly how to diffuse a sulfuric hexafluoride bomb?! The entire city would’ve been sounding like Darth Vader for weeks! Ugh. Everything was completely ruined; it was back to the drawing board. They both sat for a moment in utter silence, the pale man’s head leveled toward the ground. “You know, Harls. I’ve not had a win since I played Real-Life Duck Hunt with Batgirl’s spine!” He looked over to his accomplice, a young and handsome lad, with bright blue eyes and dyed hair construing his once blonde locks. How many years had he worked alone before this boytoy had come to follow him around Arkham Asylum? He sighed, rubbing at his eyes for a moment. “Perhaps it’s time to hang up the oversized clown shoes, kiddo. I can’t help but feel like we’re just going in circles nowadays. Even that crackpot-Nygma has been outshining me lately!”

@hellicn

♦ “Well, well. What do we have here? A stowaway! Tsk. Tsk. You kids today with your rock n’ roll music and your superhero flicks.”

The pale man pushed aside a few crates with a long, purple cane; the wood making a loud bang as each one fell onto the ground of the warehouse. “Now. Why would you go and snoop on someone else’s business? Can’t you see that I’m in the middle of planning a very important birthday party for a certain Dork Knight? Surely you’ve heard of him. Isn’t he some sort of idol to children or something?” The Joker tilted his head, a few emerald strands falling over his eyes, his ruby lips were already plastered into a warped grin of sorts. Who exactly was this kid in front of him anyways?!

“Sayyy.. Have we met before? You kinda seem familiar.” He leaned down to look the boy over once or twice, a murderous glimmer of curiosity striking his hues. “I’ve not killed or maimed you before, have I? Ahahahahahaha!”

@buildingfalls

♦ *Gasp.* “Well, bless my chattering teeth. If it isn’t Lois Lane. I was wondering who would have the nerve to have these goons drag me out for a.. ‘visitation’. What’s the scoop, Lois? There’s a gotta be a good reason why you’re this far out from Metropolis.” 

There was a nod from the guard as he stepped outside of the padded room, The Joker shackled to the table in the center of the space. His joyous features were clear as ever, as if he’d never been thrown a punch by the Dark Knight before. He was decked out in an orange jumpsuit, leaned back comfortably into a large chair. The room surrounding them was moderately homely. It could’ve been mistaken for something like an apartment, without context. “Fancy, all the things an insane, mass-murdering clown will get in prison nowadays, ain’t it? Families will do just about anything to find a couple more bodies to bury, you know. Heeheehee! I’m not sure why I ever leave this place.” The pale man found himself the only one laughing; which happened too frequently considering that he was a clown, and all.

“So, what can I do for Supes’ main squeeze? Lengthy article about my life? Unauthorized biography? Some steamy fanfiction? Hahaha!”

♦;; Okay. This blog needs to be kicked into a bit more high gear. Like for a starter, dammit. I’ll send you all something nice tonight. Send me some love.

@clayfcrmed

♦ “Hee hee hee he ha ha ha haaaaa. Well! If it isn’t ol’ Helen of Troy herself! Wonders! How ya doin’?!”

The pale man spat the final words of his greeting with a certain venom to the raven-haired woman. His usually styled, emerald hair was a mess, already dislodged by the force of of his attacker’s punch. He’d been knocked to the ground, and was bleeding just a tad; not anywhere near enough to count him out of a fight, if there was one to be had. “You know, I was thinking about you the other day, doll-face. And viola! Here you are.” His grin steadily crept back onto his face as he pulled himself back to his feet, beating off the dust from his pinstriped, purple trousers. “Typically, one would think this is a time to ask why you just cleaned my clock, but, hell! You’re a guest, here in Gotham City and it’s been so long since I’ve seen you! Let’s play a game! Checkers? Poker? No! Truth or Dare!” The Joker nodded at his own suggestion, dawdling a gloved hand against his sore jaw for a moment. “If I pick dare, will you still use the lasso o’truth on me? HAHAHAHAHAHA!”