rise and shine, little blossom

This is a rest post. Feel free to rest by the fire and regain your strength before venturing below

My favorite type of scam is where someone makes an account impersonating a famous person on social media, and then just goes into DMs and asks for money while also saying a "catchphrase" in a weird attempt to make themselves look legit

Linda Ganus - La Vie En Rose, 2022

Congrats to the Aerin stans!!!

people get specific as they age

:O

this is soo true.

the more you grow, the more you experience your own life your own way, the more aware you get of who you are and grow into your self confidence, the harder it gets to resonate with huge crowds of people. and that's so great, as you get to be more in touch with your unique self and all your real personal worth. you realize you can't compare for obvious reasons (= you're just different from everyone else, you're you). ofc you're you and can't compare at any age, but growing up (= making experience after experience, knowing yourself and your values, likes and dislikes) makes it easier to understand. makes it clearer. and it's not that this hits everyone at 30s. it changes exactly because each one of us has their own life path: it will come to you when the time is right for you. for now, allow yourself to consider this at least as a possibility.

Have you ever wondered whatever came of Most Wanted 2? Are you a fan of Queen B or Blades of Light and Shadow? Been wanting to ask our writers any lingering, burning Choices questions? You’re in luck! Chelsa and Andrew, the writers of Queen B and Blades of Light and Shadow (and more!), will be taking YOUR questions and answering as many as they can on StoryLoom! If you’ve got lore questions, this is your moment to shine.

To participate, go to Choices Secrets Revealed (link below) > Create an account > Click Ch. 1 > Post your questions in the comment section for Chelsa and Andrew to respond! More details to come 👀

Choices Secrets Revealed: https://storyloom.com/stories/1b1a7ec0-9341-45b4-9c51-716894c3ba03

Christian Jodin - Hot Heart, 2021

I think it's an unrecognized practice to allow yourself to outgrow and shed versions of yourself that were more socially successful than who you want or need to be now. Not every new chapter is bigger and bolder and hotter, I think that's a very modern social media "glow up" mindset and doesn't actually have any room for what real transformation looks like. Sometimes we change exactly as we need to and it's not what anyone else was hoping for and that's part of it being important and true.

i love you purple i love you lavender i love you lilac i love you wisteria i love you violet i love you mauve i love you periwinkle i love you amethyst i love you

when you go from a bad situation into a better one you may collapse exhausted and unsure what to do and full of grief, you may need time to regain the ability to do things as yourself or motivated by anything other than terror, you may need time to process or mourn or fall apart in ways you could not before,

and people may use this as proof that the old situation was better for you, proof that you need to go back, and it is not proof that it was better for you or proof that you need to go back

!!!

It’s so incredibly common to “fall apart” when you’re finally safe. You no longer need to stay so tightly coiled in on yourself, you can finally leave survival mode and process your trauma. You’re not holding yourself up by sheer terror anymore and suddenly the damage that terror has done to you becomes immediate and obvious. 

This is so important. Don’t go back. Things are already getting better, even if it doesn’t feel that way.

This is a documented phenomenon with abuse in particular. I’ve had a number of people ask me why they’re falling apart now after they’ve moved into a safer home, or they’re in a less dangerous area, or they’ve left an exploitative job, or they’re in a healthy relationship for the first time. Generally, it’s because they made that positive change. 

When we’re still in the midst of crisis, we’re often too overloaded and physically/emotionally unsafe to really feel or process anything. So for most of us, everything gets pushed down/repressed/dissociated until later, when we’re safe and supported. The threshold of safety at which processing begins to occur varies from person to person. And the mental calculations used to determine “safety” usually happen on an unconscious level. Very few of us have the conscious thought “I’m safe now, so I can process what happened to me.” Instead, the subconscious realizes some level of safety has been achieved, and so it just dumps a load of suppressed stuff. 

Sometimes, it’s contrast to past experiences that makes us realize something was traumatic at all. In such cases, it’s not that we’ve reached a level of safety and can thus begin to process, it’s that we finally have a basis for comparison to know that what went before was unacceptable. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CwnS-euNhNK/

https://www.instagram.com/p/CeY8Q9YBwio/

Self improvement is great but ultimately? you have to accept your self. Yes you can eat better, exercise more, read more, set boundaries, love your self, but it all comes down to this. Some days you won’t have the energy to do any of these things. And you’ll look in the mirror and think that this is not enough. That’s a lie. The biggest love for self is to live slowly. To rest. To really rest. Have a nap. Eat what makes you feel good. Read if you want to. Embrace yourself and accept that you cannot and will not be ever be perfect. Accept that you are good enough. You don’t need to keep busy all the time. you don’t need to go out all the time and post on instagram. You don’t need to journal if you don’t want to. You don’t need to make art if you don’t want to. Breathe, give yourself grace and compassion. Give yourself the love and tenderness you so badly need. Be gentle with yourself. You are trying and it is good enough. You are good enough.

A beautiful poem that illustrates my point