this is a wellmeaning mess

oh you're in a horror film/book and your phone died/has no bars? how boring. I think phones in horror SHOULD work. they should ding only to have the protagonist check and find nothing. they should get calls from somebody you don't know but is still somehow in your contacts. google maps should lead you to one place, no matter what address you type in.

phones are such a big part of our daily lives, removing them from horror removes the horror from our experience. what if the horror felt like it could happen to you, right here, right now? what if it felt like it was already happening?

call 911 and something that is definitely not a person picks up.

call 911 and get an operator only for the call to become increasingly weirder and more sinister until you realize that whatever picked up is not there to help.

text messages from someone who's dead. voicemails that sound like dead air until you turn the volume all the way up.

emergency alerts for weather that doesn't happen on earth.

Your phone rings - but it's your phone number on the screen. You answer it, but all you hear is heavy, laboured breathing. You go to say something, only to hear your voice on the other end tell you "It's too late," and hang up.

You get a message from a number you don't recognise. It's a picture of you from behind. You turn and see there's nobody there. When you look back at your phone, you see the sender has sent another text - "Sorry, wrong number."

Your phone rings - it's a private number. You answer it, only to feel the sensation of something licking your ear.

You wake up to find a voicemail. You play it back, only to hear an autotuned version of your own voice reciting a Bible passage - 1 Peter 2: 18-20.

You get an emergency alert. It says "I'm sorry."

You keep trying to call 911 but you ALSO keep getting robocalls for duct cleaning, surveys, random scam calls and texts.

one time I was in an unfamiliar town, it was 11pm, and I was trying to find some food so I looked up the nearest 24-hour supermarket and started navigation, except instead of a supermarket my phone took me to the gates of a cemetery and then said "you have reached your destination." you could write that incident into a horror movie with zero changes and it scare the audience's faces off

just gonna start killing people i dont find funny

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

shut the fuck up

People will talk about Tumblr's amazing hatemail game but its person to person reply game is equally unhinged.

garf :3 💜💙

the full strip

That makes it WORSE

“I just feel so dead inside…”

“Dead inside, you say? I know something that might just work”

reanimate my will to live

Wake me up inside

not only does fluttershy smoke weed, the first time she did was at a party one of the other ponies brought her to. she was passed the bong and weakly said “oh… sorry. i don’t smoke, i’ll cough and it’ll be really embarrassing.”

other ponies are like “nah you can do it! we won’t laugh!” and then she was like “ohh… okay…” and then just took the fattest bong rip, held it for 3 seconds, exhaled. everyone is in shock. she then does a weak little not-even cough and goes “ohh… i knew it… and now you’re all staring at me :(” and runs away

i was so right with this one tbh

The frame where they’re regular horses conveys some sort of otherwise incomprehensible emotion

all media that causes the audience to feel something is manipulative and problematic. to avoid this, i exclusively engage with horror media while also playing so called "cozy games" like stardew valley. the horror and the cozy cancel each other out and I feel absolutely nothing and remain unmolested by the whims of big feelings

lmaooo

We love to see it

#oh my god#all of them???

Yes! All of them! It's not a defect, it's a design flaw! They made an accelerator pedal that can accidentally wedge itself down flat!

me every day

"Would you change your genitals if you could" yeah, make it Bluetooth enabled.

"But the Internet of Things has terrible security, anybody in the world could log into your dick at any time" okay, and what's the downside?

What are they gonna do, make it hard for no reason?

Spoilers: it already does that.

Use it as part of a mass DDoS attack on a website that you want to be looking at.

Being used to generate packet spam is in fact fulfilling the principal function of the penis.

The penis's principle function is to deliver packet spam. Generating it is the purview of the balls.

Digitising my balls for enhanced storage density, then waking up one morning to discover that Todd Howard has put Skyrim on them.

miss swift you are not a tortured poet you are a billionaire

you cannot be a "tortured artist" if you are ultrawealthy, true tortured artists live paycheck to paycheck at a garbage job they hate

The only things shes torturing are retail workers and the environment

its true, im a victim of taylor swift, my store's radio is infected by her

it feels like there should be a million hours between 5 pm and 10 pm but theres only like two

Percy Jackson S1 released, Hades 2 almost released and with the EPIC Musical in the making,,, man the bisexual greek mythology theater kids are EATING right now

I want to talk about hades 2 and the gods. Mainly that we know they are at war with Chonus hence why some of them are way more geared up than before. I want to bring special attention to the the goddess of love

In Hades 1 we got her causal outfit and now in Hades 2 we have her ass kickin outfit. That is amazing.

Me during Hades: Awww come on, guys. Let the man sleep. It’s literally his job!

Me watching the Hades II technical test: NOT LIKE THAT