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please let me cry

@ray-rook

what the fuck even is breathing 19yr
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goldinkpen

Writer’s Paradise Masterlist

As a Writer it’s my goal to help and uplift other writers and future Authors alike so here’s a Masterlist of resources I’ve compiled for you to use for your writing!

If you know any sites or have any recommendations for me to add, my asks/submissions are open!!

I’ll update these as I further my journey & research into becoming an Author one day, please reblog this to help your fellow writers!

Organization, Advice, and Research

Hiveword - A website with multiple writing resources available such as planning, index cards, articles with advice, name and character generators, and research capabilities. The free account offers the essentials such as scenes, characters, and plotlines.

Storyteller’s Roadmap - A website that helps you plan, write, and revise a story thoroughly. It including guides to write specific descriptions along with a thesaurus, templates and worksheets, an Idea Generator and more.

Helping Writers become Authors - A website in a blog style format with multiple articles and resources including writing mistakes, novel outlining, story structures, as well as character arcs and many more.

UK resources for writers - A website with resources for learning how to write with free and paid courses, writing opportunities, and more for writers in the UK.

Creative Writers Academy - A website with free classes guiding a step by step through the publication process.

Reedsy - A blog style website that includes Articles about publication and centered around learning how to publish a book with many tools and generators for writing.

Poets and Writers - A website for Writers and poets with resources like publishing your writing, finding your community and more.

Research Links for Writers - An HTML site with multiple links and resources for writers spanning upon multiple genres, subject matters, and history.

The internet public library - A website encyclopedia for essays and academic papers.

Writing realistic Injuries - A website with a list of different types of injuries and how to write them out including, impacts, and the effects of them.

RanGen - A website for writers with writing challenges, resources, and generators for things like personalities, characters, poisons, writing prompts, etc.

Ivy Tech Library - A library database website with a lot of resources for research including folklore and by region.

How to write a story by Creativepromptsforwriting on Tumblr - A different Masterlist with many more resources about writing, staying motivated, certain plots, etc.

Self Publishing

A step-by-step Video about Self Publishing - A video by Gilliain Perkins explaining her process of how she self published her Best Seller Novel.

How to format your book yourself through word - A video by Natalia Leigh with a step-by-step process on how she formats her manuscript. Her video covers: Page Size, Margins, Line spacing, Indentation, Chapter Styles, Page Numbers, and Headers.

Strategies for Marketing your book - A video made by iWriterly she explains 34 different strategies that can be used to market a book (while marketing her book lol!) and includes a downloadable checklist of these strategies

Masterclass How to copyright a book in 7 steps - An article guiding step by step how to properly copyright a self published book.

Fiverr - A freelancing website where you can find someone to make your illustrations, covers, and even get editors as well as someone to voice or make an audiobook for you.

Up Work - A freelancing website  where you can find someone to make your illustrations, covers, and even get editors as well as someone to voice or make an audiobook for you.

Beta Books - A website for Beta Readers can read your book and return their feedback. It lets you sort and filter your feedback by reader, chapter, or keyword, to get your book done.

Docucopies - A printing service website with a short guide about self publishing, buying copyright, and ISBN references and sites, all while including printing services (10% off of orders over 350$)

The Book Patch - A book printing service which includes Print-On-Demand services or cheap printing services allowing for smaller quantities. The Book Patch does not offer expensive publishing package, and keeps book publishing costs to a minimum.

Affordable Book Printing - A website with book publishing services including printing books but also formatting e-books, Cover Design, as well as Marketing and more

Generators & AUs

Random AU Generator - A website that generates AUs randomly.

Fantasy Name/Realm Generator - A website that generates random fantasy names.

Random Name Generator - A website that generates random names based on the options chosen with the ability to choose by region and gender.

Service Scape Writing Prompt Generator - A website that generates in depth writing prompts as chosen by the genre selected.

Writing Plot Generator - A website that generates plots based upon your selections of genre, title, etc.

Art Breeder - A website that can use a series of images to generate photos or the perfect character for your story.

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mochatsin

WHEN MC COMES HOME INJURED

There are a lot of issues that you can come across as a human in Devildom and sometimes, the brothers aren’t really prepared for the worst case scenarios. One day they find you at home injured from other demons, how will they respond to this?

TW: Implied Bullying, Violence, Torture, Injury

sometimes I wonder if MC is a bit desensitized to violence (but not to a level where they’re no longer bothered by it). Think about it, the brothers have war-level fights all the time in the house. Plus MC lives in a realm full of devils.

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mochatsin

MC GIVING GIFTS FOR THE BROTHERS

You’ve been racking up quite a ton of grimm with all the part time jobs you’ve worked in. You decided maybe you can go a bit off budget for once and spoil one of the brothers as a token of appreciation.

we stan a self-sufficient MC in this household. Just imagine your MC working in Akuber and other jobs earning that sweet grimm.

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mochatsin

WHEN MC SINGS

Before Devildom, you loved to sing. It’s something you do whether you’re alone or with anyone. You didn’t tell the brothers though, but they find out eventually when you’re caught because you thought you were alone.

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ghouljams

Ghoul imagine Cowboy!Ghost going to the thrift/antique store in town because all his work pants are testing the limits of the Theseus’ Ship paradox with how much mending Duck has had to do on them.

There’s literally only one pair of jeans in the entire store that fit him (his legs are a mile long, thick as fucking tree trunks, with a bakery to match, that’s a tall order for a rural town) and so he buys them without a second thought. Doesn’t really pay mind to the way the owners great grand daughters eyes widen comically when she sees the brand patch on the back. He’s not very familiar with American brands anyway, and these’ll get demolished by the end of the week, why should he care who made it.

Of course it all comes together the next time him and Goose have sex. Her brain practically short circuits as he unzips his jeans, revealing a faded red patch that reads “☘️LUCKY YOU☘️” in a bold font.

Yes this mountain of a man bought Lucky brand jeans from the thrift, no he didn’t really realize what they were (not like he has to look at his zip every time mkay it’s fucking muscle memory), yes they fit him like skinny jeans, and yes Goose fucks his absolute brains out that night.

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Maelstrom the wizard you are to make the worms squirm the way you do...

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mochatsin

WHEN THE BROTHERS SAVE MC

A scenario where you find yourself in the middle of trouble against demons who would either want to eat you, ruin the exchange program, and the list goes on. Sometimes, they don’t even need a reason to hurt you. Thankfully, one of the brothers arrives in time before it could get worse. Or tldr, the brothers SNAP as they save you

TW: implied torture and violence note: It’s funny because by the time I finished Satan’s part, there’s a chat on my Obey Me about MC getting full marks on their Curses and Hexes subject because of him and I think it’s a funny coincidence it's like the game can hear me. ------------

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mochatsin

THE BROTHERS WITH JEALOUSY

A demon decides that it’ll be fun to flirt with the human exchange student, but the brothers won’t be so happy about this when they find out. Or a demon flirts with MC and they deal with the demon personally.

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mochatsin

When MC Gets Pushed Off the Stairs

You can be the kindest person or the biggest brat this exchange program has ever seen, but it won’t erase the fact that you have enemies. Some demons just can’t stand the idea of a human earning the favor of the seven avatars… and there are others that plan on doing something about it.

TW: implied bullying, falling down the stairs, sprained ankle + MC in a cast, violence, demon brothers being a bit more sinister.

I was in the mood for a bunch of dark and spiteful demons. I might make a separate part of them taking care of MC during the times they have a cast.

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“Who do they think they are? They probably feel invincible when they have those brothers stuck to their hip.” 

You tried ignoring the rumors and whispers, you knew it wasn’t true so there wasn't any reason for you to bring this up with anyone. Though there were a bunch of demons, specifically these two girls, that are quite irritating. They definitely knew you could hear them, but that doesn’t mean they’ll lower their voices whenever they start talking about you. Seeing your discomfort is what even encourages them to keep talking, and you’re walking down the stairs to your next class so you can avoid them because there’s no way you’re gonna give them that satisfaction of seeing how bothered you are. 

“Invincible? As if! They’re just a human.” The other mocks, looking at you with disgust.

“Let’s find out.” Is the last thing you hear before you feel someone’s heel push your back, making you lose your balance and fall over. It was a blur after that, until he came by…

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"First time she ever showed me--"

Service Dog Johnny snippet to get me back into writing the next chapter. Enjoy.

“Bra’s coming off.”

Simon grunts in confirmation, not bothering to look away from the movie options he’s flicking through on the TV while you work the straps off under your shirt. Finally free from underwire, you toss it onto the couch next to you, and relax back into your boyfriend’s side. 

“Have you ever… wanted to see them?” you ask offhandedly. “Not like… in a sexy way, just, you know. For fun.”

His thumb pauses, and the continuous click, click, on the TV comes to a halt in the silence. Shit, are you being a gross weirdo? Nervous at his reaction, you quickly tilt your chin up to get a look at his face.

He clears his throat lightly, and begins to select through the options again, eyes glued to the screen. “I’ve… already seen them.”

“What?” You straighten up in shock. “When?!”

“Err…” he’s decidedly not looking at you, but starts waving the remote towards the corner of the room. “That beach holiday we did. I had to plug in my phone, and you thought I was loading the car, and walked out in your knickers to get something from your bag.” The end of the remote follows his memory, from one corner of the room to the other. 

“Oh my god,” you breathe, half entertained, half embarrassed. You can so easily imagine him crouched down by that outlet that’s hard to get to, frozen in shock while his topless girlfriend struts across the room to grab a tampon. “That was like… a month ago.”

“Mhmm.” His arm tightens around your waist, squeezing you against him. “Good month, that.”

Okay, that’s probably a good response. You’re pretty sure that means he liked the way you look. Both of you concentrate again on the movie selection process, and eventually you relax into each other when it starts to play.

“Would you ever… want to see them again?” you offer casually. Good month, good month, good month.

The tension in the air is immediate, with the way his body tightens up against you. It makes the wait absolutely nerve wracking, and it’s all you can do to clamp your teeth into your lip so you won’t back out and apologize. You stare resolutely at the TV, and after what feels like ages, you feel Simon tilt his head slightly to glance down at you. “Alright.”

You finally find the nerve to get a look at him, and you watch his eyes quickly flick from your chest to your face. There’s anticipation written there, half buried under something you can’t read. 

You smile in an effort to keep it light, and fluidly drag the bottom hem of your shirt up to give him a view of your breasts. You keep your head tilted back, and even in the dim, dancing lights from the TV, you can see his eyes moving slightly, tracing over the shape of you. 

Can he see everything from there? Your boobs might look a little droopy from a straight-down angle, so you do him a favor, and lift one a little in your hand, squeezing it to show him how it moves. 

Your heart sinks when your boyfriend’s eyes close, and he moves his head slightly down and away. 

“I’m sorry,” you instantly gush, pawing your shirt back into place. “Oh my god, Simon, I’m so sorry!”

“Hush, you.” He drags you back down to his side, hard, as if he can physically force you to relax again if he holds you tight enough. “Too pretty to be this fucking ridiculous.”

The backs of his knuckles skim up and down over your hip in a comforting way, so you sigh and try to pick up where you were in the movie. 

Your boyfriend clears his throat again. “One more time, possibly?”

Laughing under your breath, quite relieved, you expose yourself again and keep your shirt there for a while, leaning your head on his shoulder and letting him glance down at your bare skin whenever he feels like it. 

What’s the point of having a girlfriend if you can’t see titties every now and then?

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"you are so beautiful." the words roll off of your tongue, voice blending in with the sound of asmo's fan- the one he always keeps running so he doesn't get too hot.

"of course i am, darling! how ever could i be the one and only asmodeus, if i wasn't gorgeous?"

his response is always the same no matter the compliment you give. indicative of him not understanding the depths of your words. he knows he's beautiful, but he doesn't understand it the way you do. or at least the way you think you do.

your hands are cold, though the feeling of them grasping at his face is a momentary shock. the real shock comes after you've held him, his eyes locking onto your own. there's a look of... something asmo can't quite put his finger on, more intense than love could ever be, but absent of the lust that fills the eyes of those who look at him.

"you don't understand," you huff out, "the 'beautiful' you hear is not the 'beautiful' i am trying to convey."

"what do you mean, hon?"

it's hard to collect your thoughts into words, given that you were a little emotional and a little tipsy, but you were soon overcome with the need to explain, to elaborate.

"when i see you, i don't see what they do." your hands cover his eyes. "they see your looks, your bravado. not your love, your warmth, how much you care. when i want to say 'you're beautiful', i want to say 'you are the stars in the sky, the sun, the moon. your soul encapsulates what happiness is to me.' does that make sense?"

your compliments are always thought-provoking, but in the way that makes asmodeus wonder if god still loves him though he chose to fall.

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zephyrchama

"Welcome back, it's been a while."

After a long time has passed, how might the Obey Me! demons welcome you home with a hug?

---

Lucifer tries to approach you in a calm and collected manner, but that facade easily crumbles as he gets closer. His pace quickens and his expression melts into an inscrutable blend of emotion. The man is fighting to stay composed.

He pulls you towards him, unwilling to wait a moment longer to have you in his arms. His gloved hands wrap around your back and waist with a secure grip. Your toes brush the ground as his hug lifts you to eye level, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Welcome back, I've missed you."

---

Mammon sprints up with the goofiest grin imaginable plastered on his face. He catches himself at the last moment though, grinding to a halt as a blush creeps over his ears. He wants to be cool. "You sure are a piece a work to keep The Great Mammon waiting."

His arrogant act is betrayed by the many glances in your direction. By the way he's clenching his fist so hard his knuckles are white, and by the way he immediately crumbles into your open arms the second you reach out. He throws his arms around your shoulders and digs his face into your neck. He grips the back of your top a little too hard, as if you might leave again any moment.

---

Leviathan sheds his insecurities and doubts, all negative emotions, just to be able to bask in your presence again. It's a moment he's looked forward to for weeks. He puts trust into the belief that you've also been looking forward to seeing him.

He wraps his arms and legs around you, unconsciously aiming to get as much skin contact as possible. "I've really missed you, you know!?" he half-shouts before burying his face in your shoulder. You fight to stay standing upright. Every little movement, every minor adjustment in posture you make causes Leviathan to snuggle closer until you can't tell where your limbs end and his begin.

---

Satan can't control all of the overwhelming emotions that hit him at once. He grabs hold of your hand, and with a palm on your back he pulls you close until your entire weight leans against him. At your touch, all he can do is smile.

"Glad to see you again." The two of you sway back and forth, turning your hug into a psuedo-Waltz. When you look into his eyes, Satan gives your hand a kiss and presses your intertwined fingers against his face.

---

Asmodeus laughs as he barrels into you. "Did you miss me? Of course you did!"

You stumble back several steps yet he catches you before you fall, latching onto your side like a matching puzzle piece. He rubs his cheek over your head, pausing every few seconds to give you a kiss as his free hand enthusiastically traces its way up your back.

Asmodeus is the most reluctant to let go. Making a mess of your hair and clothes only gives him a calculated opportunity to touch you more as he tidies up your appearance. His caress lingers over your collarbone and around your ear. His fingers brush against your mouth, which he then brings to his own lips.

---

Beelzebub falls to his knees, relieved to see you return safe and sound and glad to be by your side once more. His arms curl around your hips. He noses his face into your chest and looks up with a content smile as he greets you, "welcome back."

You lean over to return the hug, running your hands through his hair. You don't expect Beelzebub to stand, picking you up in the process. You steady yourself on his shoulders as he rises, his violet eyes not wavering from you for a second, tempting him to steal a kiss.

---

Belphegor wraps his arms around your shoulders and practically falls on you. He doesn't seem concerned that you're sinking to the ground. In fact, he's so preoccupied with cuddling up to you that there's no way to avoid sitting on the ground with this demon on top of you.

He curls his body around your legs. You feel his warm breath on your neck as he slowly exhales, "welcome back." He's awake, but nothing will stop him from pretending to be asleep as his grip strength loosens and his face trails down your body.

---

Diavolo laughs amicably as you approach. He wants you to come to him, and is so thrilled to have you back. He bends down to latch his arms under yours and swings you around, sweeping you off your feet as you twirl two, three times, then slow to a stop.

"How have you been?" In due time he wants to know everything, and hear all the stories of your time away in detail. For now, he's got you locked in a bear hug. You feel his lips brush over your hair as he lightly swings you back and forth.

---

Barbatos' hug is the most restrained. It's simple and polite. At first he was content to just greet you with a gentle handshake and loving gaze. Though, when you request a hug, there is no way he can say no.

He extends his arms around your back, gives you two soft pats, and hesitates for just a moment before letting you go.

At night that evening as you prepare for bed, you find a note in your pocket that Barbatos must have cunningly slipped in without anyone noticing. It's a detailed letter with everything he didn't get to tell you in person.

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daytaker

Find My Demon

"Beelzebub" left behind. This item is no longer detected near you. It was last seen near Hell's Kitchen.

My mom put an airtag on her puppy's collar, both to keep track of her and to train her to come when she hears the beeping sound.

So now I'm imagining Lucifer secretly slipping airtags into his brothers' things. One buried at the bottom of Asmo's makeup bag, one in Mammon's wallet, etc.

"Asmodeus" left behind. This item is no longer detected near you. It was last seen near Majolish.

Every time he gets one of these notifs though, he has an instant of panic, like a mom realizing she lost her kid at the mall.

"Satan" left behind. This item is no longer detected near you. It was last seen near Royal Library.

Then when he leaves the house and all his brothers are still there, he gets pinged six times. And as much as it annoys him it's kind of distressing to see them all lined up.

"Mammon" left behind. This item is no longer detected near you. It was last seen near House of Lamentation.
"Leviathan" left behind. This item is no longer detected near you. It was last seen near House of Lamentation.
"Satan" left behind. This item is no longer detected near you. It was last seen near House of Lamentation.
"Asmodeus" left behind. This item is no longer detected near you. It was last seen near House of Lamentation.
"Beelzebub" left behind. This item is no longer detected near you. It was last seen near House of Lamentation.
"Belphegor" left behind. This item is no longer detected near you. It was last seen near House of Lamentation.
Diavolo: Lucifer, you look distressed. Lucifer: Oh, no, it's nothing. Simply concerned for my imbecile brothers, as usual. Diavolo: Worried they'll get up to some mischief while you're out? Lucifer: No. That much is a given.

Bonus: Simeon has Luke airtagged.

Luke: Simeon? Something keeps making a weird dinging sound. I think it's coming from my clothes? Did Solomon pull a prank on me again? Simeon, silently turning off the Find My Luke alert: Oh, there you are. Um, nothing to worry about. The sound stopped, didn't it? Luke: I guess... Simeon: Great! Luke: .... 🤨 Simeon: 😌
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daytaker

The Gang React to Weed

Happy 4/20, here's a thing.

(I'm imagining that demons have the same reactions to weed that humans do. I don't think they actually would have the same reactions, but theoretically...)

Oh, and to make my own bias clear: I'm not a fan, personally. I can't think about weed without thinking about the smell. The stink. So I'm not sure if the focus on the smell in these comes off as weird or not, but it's so powerful in my mind, it must be addressed.

Lucifer hates weed. Don't call that the Devil's lettuce, he wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole. It smells like skunk. It's revolting. Don't use it in his house. Don't use it in his presence. Don't use it. It's antithetical to everything he believes in.

Mammon...would stone. I see him as someone who uses one of those vape pens on the DL (not nearly as smelly, so much safer to use in the House of Lamentation) but he'd also like gummies and weed brownies. Being stoned is just fun. It's pleasant. It's relaxing. Chill out, Lucifer, you're harshing the vibes, man.

Leviathan is nervous about weed. He has this idea that there's a way he's supposed to react to cannabis, and when he doesn't, he feels like there's something wrong with him. He's supposed to feel all chill and groovy, right? So why does he just feel dizzy? Why is he not relaxed? Why isn't he chill?! Why isn't he groovy?!?!?! He probably psyches himself out too much to enjoy it. He's too nervous about the social expectations.

Satan is kind of ambivalent to weed. He doesn't particularly enjoy it. I don't think he'd like feeling intoxicated in general because of the lack of control. But at the same time.... it pisses Lucifer off so much, how can he not appreciate that? He doesn't like the smell either, so if it wasn't for Lucifer, he'd be the one complaining about it, but as it stands, he's perfectly willing to enable his brothers who do like it.

Asmodeus doesn't mind it in moderation, and only in edibles. Again... the smell. He will not tolerate smelling like anything less than a bouquet of roses. He only really uses it socially.

Beelzebub can't have cannabis. And I know you know why. The cravings. You can't just take gluttony and make it hungrier. It Devours. Once, Mammon left some weed brownies unattended, and he was strung up by Lucifer for days, not because he brought pot into the house, but because Beelzebub ate them and went on a mindless rampage through the Devildom, eating his way through various businesses and even a few historic landmarks. Everything was game: stone, dirt, wood, you name it. The bottomless pit just became bottomless-er.

Belphegor likes it. Similar to Mammon, he doesn't want the hassle of Lucifer getting on his case, so he prefers the vape pen, since it's less smelly and also Beel-safe. It makes him feel cozy and relaxed, because if Belphie needs anything, it's something to help him fall asleep more easily.

Diavolo loves it! But since Lucifer hates it, he doesn't use it very often. I actually imagine he and Solomon occasionally hang out and smoke. Only very rarely, because he's much too busy to be fucking off with some tricksy wizard and getting high, but it happens from time to time.

Barbatos is indifferent to it. What's some intoxication in the face of millions of years of experiences and virtual omniscience? It won't affect him. But please, young master, if you must indulge, change your clothes after. The scent has a way of clinging to fabric...

Solomon loves weed! It's so fun. What a great way to take the edge off. Mind-altering substances are very fun for a guy who's seen it all, even if cannabis is relatively lowkey. When he senses that the moment is right, he'll whisk Diavolo away every now and then and hang out in some scenic location while smoking. He has a fantasy that one day, Diavolo will spontaneously suggest they make a pact during such an occasion. It hasn't happened yet.

Simeon isn't interested in getting high. It's not for him, or for any angels, really. I wish I had a more nuanced picture of him for this prompt, but I'm just picturing a meme with Simeon's face saying "Don't get high: get saved."

Luke is a literal child.

  • "What's that awful smell, Simeon?"
  • "Oh, that's just some Devil-grass burning. Some demons enjoy the sensations inhaling the smoke causes."
  • "Demons would like something like that!"
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daytaker
Anonymous asked:

Hello! I’ve viewed your blog a few times and i really really like the way that you write, so when I learned that asks were i couldn’t help but make a request. Can we get some headcaons of the brothers meeting MC’s family for the first time and already Mama MC doesn’t like any of them because “they took away her baby.” Sorry if this is a little cringe.

But of course!

"Mom, Dad, meet seven of my boyfriends."

...is what you want to say, but you know better than to panic your parents and fluster your totally platonic demon friends at a time like this.

And what a time it is. Here you are, surrounded by your parents, an aunt, your grandpa, and your sister, trying to calm your mother down from yet another diatribe about how you can't just get up and leave for a year---I mean, God, the police were looking for you! The police! You realize we thought they'd find your body in the woods somewhere? How could you do this to us?!---when suddenly:

Knock, knock. Knock knock knock knock knock knock. Thud. Thud. Thud.

"MC! Hey MC!"

"Mammon, if they hear you, you'll ruin the surprise!"

You and your relatives stare at the door. Then they all look at you. You give an awkward smile.

"Just give me a minute... I think those are some friends of mine..."

You really wish you lived somewhere besides a one bedroom apartment, but honestly, impossible in this economy. So you don't have anywhere remotely private to tell the brothers to scatter until the dust clears. In fact, the instant you open the door, Asmodeus flings his arms around you and kisses you on the cheek---in full view of your family, mind you!---and Beel shoves a box of half-eaten chocolates into your hand. Then seven voices are all clamoring for your attention at once on one end, and another five behind you. There are thirteen individuals in this tiny apartment, you realize, and you don't even have enough seats for your family to all sit. Your sister's seated on the floor.

"Heyyyyy guys, now's....not a great time...." A smile is plastered to your face as you tip your head in the direction of your extremely concerned parents. "And...seriously? It hasn't been two weeks yet."

Mammon looks confused, then indignant. "What? ...Hey, what the hell? You're already makin' new friends?! We really that replaceable?!"

Lucifer, who stands in the back holding a balloon bouquet with a jarringly serious expression on his face, speaks up. "I believe those are MC's relatives, Mammon. It seems we came at an inopportune time after all."

"Relatives?!" Asmo and Mammon hurry on over to give them all a good look-over, the others curiously observing.

"You're MC's mom, aren't you! Oh, MC! I see where you get your cheekbones!" Asmo gushes as your mother stares at him like he's from another planet. Which he sort of is, in a sense.

"MC? Who are these people?" your grandpa asks with bewilderment and not a small amount of concern.

"They're, um..."

"They're hot." Your sister waves her fingers at the group, and you wish you had perma-died in that attic.

You need to explain yourself quickly. On the spot. You'd already told your family you'd had a bit of a quarter-life crisis and gone backpacking across the country for the year, working through the mental collapse that living in the 21st century inevitably caused, so you ride off of that. These are a ragtag bunch you met on the road, you explain. You'd spent the better part of last year roughing it from the hills of Kentucky to the forests of Washington with these guys, and you'd become incredibly close as a result. You'd lived together, laughed together, loved together, and some of them even tried to kill you on a few occasions.

("'Tried'?" mutters Satan, and Belphie gives him a death glare.)

Under the leadership of the charismatic eldest brother, Lucifer, you'd become so close that it felt as if your very souls were somehow tethered---

"I'm sorry, 'Lucifer'?" Your mom has had just about enough of this. She approaches you with a look of heartbreaking concern in her eyes and cups your face. "....Baby, did you join a cult?"

"Who does she think she is, callin' 'em that?" seethes Mammon under his breath.

"Mammon, she's my MOM."

"Alright, I think I've seen enough." Dad gets up and eyes the boys sternly. "I dunno what you've been doing with my child, but it's gonna stop, you understand? I've got a homicide detective on speed dial because of you clowns."

"Is this where they get their assertiveness from?" speculated Levi to Beel, who simply shrugged.

"Listen, I think you're all just...misunderstanding each other!" Son of Gardonus, where are you even supposed to start? You grab the nearest demon---

(Individual brothers are below the cut!)

Lucifer

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daytaker
Anonymous asked:

Hiiii! I’m the anon that asked for the MC’s family request and it was hilarious, 10/10 if you don’t mind May i possibly ask for a part 2 with the dateables? Thanks for reading!

(Part 1: The Brothers)

"Mom, Dad, these are my other four boyfriends and my son."

...is what you almost do say when there's a knock at the door a few weeks later while you're entertaining your parents, your sister, and teenage cousin who's stuck with your folks while your aunt is on a cruise. Your parents stare at you with faces that all but beg you to ignore the damn door. Is it that cult again?

"Open the door! Is it that cult again?" your sister asks with shining eyes. She's been discussing going backpacking across the country ever since she met those seven hot guys who apparently adore you now. Your parents are devastated.

"Cult?" asks your cousin, looking up from his Switch with dead eyes. Your sister starts explaining to him as you go to the door and look through the peephole.

Oh, Christ. Oh, fuck. Oh, son of Gardonus---it's the son of Gardonus.

Opening the door just partway, you see that it's not just Diavolo. No, he brought the whole crew with him. Barbatos, naturally, but also Solomon, Simeon, and even little Luke. Diavolo holds a bouquet of flowers and Luke has a covered platter that almost certainly contains some kind of cake.

"Hiiiii, guys..."

"MC! It's been too long!" laughs Diavolo in his booming voice.

"It's been...a month..." you concede. Why, just...why...do all these handsome men find you so alluring? This is just your cross to bear, apparently. "It isn't a great time though, so---"

"Is that them?" Your cousin is standing behind you, peering out the door.

"No, this is... Who the hell...? MC, don't tell me there are more of them?!" Your sister is clearly astounded, and also quite delighted. "Invite them in! Invite them in!"

So, soon you're standing in the middle of your tiny apartment again, surrounded by friends and family, holding flowers and a cake, and feeling like you'd love it if a chasm in the earth opened up and swallowed you.

"There were more?" Your mom sounds hurt, like you'd been intentionally hiding things from her. "How many more besides these?!"

"Arguably three, but I don't know them well enough for them to visit," you say, winking reassuringly to the nervous author.

"Oh my god, there's a kid?!" Your sister has noticed Luke now. "Holy shit! Whose is he?"

You point mutely to Simeon, who smiles uncomfortably and waves.

"I'm not a kid!" Luke protests. "I'm--"

"You're a pre-teen. We know, Luke. We know." Solomon laughs dangerously, and Luke doesn't put up any more arguments.

You clear your throat. God, this is even more uncomfortable than the last go-round.

"Um, so. Everyone, I'd like you to meet---"

(Individuals are below the cut!)

Diavolo

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