Forever and Always
I was officially all moved in and we couldn't be happier. Our relationship was flourishing, we were both independent and doing our own things. College was fantastic and I'm so close to graduating, I could almost taste it. To celebrate my moving in with Aly, I decided to cook for us. Both of us were capable but I hated it so mostly Aly would cook for us over the weekends. I only cook for him on special occasions and this was one.
I knew how much he loved his Grandma’s dishes so I called her up for some family recipes. For our starters, I made Granny Costas’ Special Stifado which was a Greek stew typically made from meat (I chose beef because Aly and I are nuts for that), tomatoes, onions and herbs. Granny told me that he adored Keftedes, meatballs cooked with herbs and onions. Being the Asian I was, I needed that to accompany rice so I picked out a Greek rice dish called Spanakorizo off the Internet. It was spinach and rice cooked in lemon and olive oil sauce.
It was tedious but with the help of my aids, I was able to recreate Granny’s recipes just as he came home. I stood by our dining table with my scarlet dress on that he loves so much with a huge grin on my face. The door opened and I could barely contain my excitement. I was going to greet him when he slammed the front door. His footsteps sounded sluggish and he kept breathing out sighs of frustration. I dropped my grin and walked towards his silhouette.
“What's wrong, darling?” I felt his body tense when I hugged him. The tension of his fists clenching and unclenching thumping against me worried me.
“I don't want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” I nodded understandingly. I'll coax it out of him eventually. I felt my way up his neck and undid his tie before guiding him towards the dinner table.
“I made you a spread, straight from Granny Costas’ Family Recipes. I'm kind of mad you never introduced me to your cultural food.” I teased, hoping to cheer him up. All I got was a halfhearted snort. I took my place across him and we dug in.
“How was work?” He sighed again.
“I rather not talk about it.”
“Alright, what do you want to talk about?” He took a bite of his food, the food sliding down his throat was evidence enough.
“How about how you made this delicious meal all by yourself?” He exclaimed and I giggled. There's my Alystair. We discussed how Granny had to explain over and over until I had it committed to memory. It helped that Aly didn't move any of his cooking supplied so I easily navigated all the ingredients. I took my time and I consider it a miracle that I didn't burn down the house. We kept the conversation light and soon decided to call it a night.
As I snuggled up next to him, I nudged him.
“Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? I mean isn't this what it is to have a relationship; to support each other during the hard times. Please tell me what's wrong.” I even widened my eyes innocently. He sighed resigned and caved. He held me tighter when he started to explain.
“I'm being drafted.” My whole world came crashing down with those three little words.
“What?! But you're the Captain! You should be deploying soldiers for the draft not being deployed.”
“Darling, I'm only a Captain. I have higher authorities to answer to. It's a small dispute in North Africa, because Melody Nolan messed up the dinner party that doubled as a Treaty Dinner and they want to put a stop to it before it blows into a full on war.” Typical, there had to be repercussions of those who had failed to do their dinners. Why did my boyfriend had to get dragged into this though? I couldn't do anything at this point so I sighed, defeated.
“When do you leave?” I asked tiredly.
Please be a year or more.
“Next week. They want to shut it down as soon as possible. I'm sorry.” I couldn't respond. I just turned on my side and forced myself to wake up from this twisted dream. I just got him, I can't lose him now. He understood and hugged me from behind. He held me as I cried myself to sleep.
The week had come and gone. He was at the door with all his bags packed. I looked at him resentfully.
“Don't go.” I pleaded. He simply hugged me tightly.
“I love you, I'll be back. I promise you I'm going to be safe.” With one last kiss, he was gone.
She's sitting at the table
The hours getting later
And he's supposed to be here
She's sure he would have called
I was making myself Keftedes with Spanakorizo because it was a day I particularly missed him. I sat by the table waiting for the rice to cook and checked the time with my shades. 5pm, any minute now he’d call.
She waits a little longer
There's no one in the driveway
No one’s said they’d seen him
Why is something wrong?
She looks back to the window,
Suddenly the phone rings
A voice said something's happened
And she should come right now
I'm sure he was delayed, I assured myself while staring at the phone. Its blurry silhouette mocked me. I paged Emory, his best friend who was in North Africa with him. Not five minutes after I paged Emory, the phone rang and I turned away from the window.
“Calista? It's Emory, you need to get to Angeles General as soon as you can. Aly is in critical condition.” I was shaking as I assured him I’d be there and hung up. We just fell in love and moved in together. He can't be taken away from me this soon. I breathed to calm myself down. I gave myself a few moments of silence.
Her mind goes to December
She thinks of when he asked her
He bent down on his knee first and he said…
I want you forever
Forever and Always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together
Forever and Always.
I thought back to Christmas. It wasn't exactly a proposal because we knew we didn't want to rush into anything. But he did give me a promise ring and we pretended it was an actual engagement.
I'll never forget what he said to me.
“I want you forever, forever and always. Through the good and the bad and the ugly. We'll grow old together, forever and always.” I thought it was sweet for the first two lines until I realised and gave him a deadpan look.
“You did not just quote my favourite band to me.” He chuckled sheepishly. I shoved him playfully, laughing. Afterwhich we popped the champagne and had a little dance in our apartment. It was silly but that step forward meant a lot to us.
I fiddled with my ring until I calmed myself long enough to call Izzy. She was the only one in town and my first instinct was to call her. She could make me feel better in any situation. Without hesitation, she came to my rescue. As she manically drove me to the hospital, I texted the rest of the Breakfast Club and Vad the situation, to keep my hands from shaking so violently. Izzy offered me words of comfort until we reached there.
She pulls up to the entrance
She walks up to the front desk
They lead her down a million halls
A maze that's never ending
They talk about what happened
But she can barely hear them
She tries to keep a straight face
As she walks into the room
I burst in dramatically, as Izzy guided me to the front desk.
“I'm looking for Alystair Costas. I'm his wife.” I fibbed. Before the lady could tell me, Emory called out to me.
“Cal! I'm so glad you're here.” He pulled me into a tight hug. I was taken back, Emory wasn't one for affections. This made me even more nervous about Aly’s condition. I started peeling at my nails. Then a new voice chimed in.
“Miss Ledger? I'm Alystair’s Doctor. He's been asking for you. Allow me to explain his condition…” Her voice faded away, I just wanted to see him.
She must have caught the desperate expression I wore and gave me a gentle smile before guiding me to his room. Izzy assured me that she'd wait outside since the room didn't permit more than two visitors. I needed to be brave for him so I relaxed my facial muscles, made myself cool and collected before following the doctor into his room.
She sits by his bed side
Holding his hand too tight
Talk about the kids they're gonna have
And the good life
The house on the hillside
Where they would stay…
Stay there forever,
Forever and Always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
They'll grow old together
And always remember
Whether for rich or for poor or better
They'll still love each other
“Hi stranger.” I say softly as I sit down by his bed.
“Hi, love.” He says hoarsely. I sense him smiling and instinctively hold on to his hand tightly. A habit I developed recently whenever I get scared. He reached out to cup my face but gasped and made a quick movement which I assumed to be a wince.
“Hey, take it easy. I need you to be strong for when we make kids.” I teased, wanting to take both of our minds off the situation at hand. He chuckled weakly but winced again.
“I thought you didn't want kids.”
“Well I change my mind so get better and give me Mini Alys soon!”
“The apartment is too small for a family.” He played along and his voice was gaining strength.
“We could get a house on the hillside. Kind of like the rolling hills in Sound of Music.” I continued the fantasy. It distracted both of us from our respective pains and it was nice to just hold his hand and talk about our future without a care in the world.
“Of course, how do you solve a problem like Calista?” He sang softly. I gave him a faux pout.
“Hey! I'm not all that bad.” He reached out cautiously this time to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear and pulled me closer to him. He pressed his lips against mine and I felt the tears coming on. Why did he have to go and do that? It was like he was saying goodbye. I pulled away first and put on my ‘happy’ voice.
“So this hillside house, I want us to stay there forever. Until we die, like how cool would it be to grow old together and be buried there where we can haunt it from the grave!” He gave a raspy laugh to that. It didn't seem to have hurt him and that in itself was a relief.
“Darling, we'd have to get married before the kids and house.” He pointed out. Always the practical one, I smiled at him tenderly.
On cue, Vad barged through the door with Izzy and Emory trailing behind her.
“I'm here!” She rushed over to envelope me in a bear hug. I quickly try to tangle Aly out of it, seeing he needed the space. Izzy joined in and burrowed my face into their shoulders as I allowed the tears leak out. They rubbed my back and whispered comforting words. After I pulled myself together, I pulled back and smiled, relieved to have them here for moral support.
Then she gets an idea
And calls in the nurses
And brings up the chaplain
And he says a couple verses
She borrowed some rings from the couple next door
Everybody’s laughing as the tears fall on the floor
I scanned the room realising that two of my best friends and Aly’s best friend were here - sure, it wasn't the same without the rest of the Breakfast Club but I had to make do.
‘Darling, we’d have to get married.’ Echoed through my mind before the lightbulb lit up. I excitedly exited the room, leaving everyone in a state of confusion. I called up the nurses and relayed my plan to her. She smiled kindly and patted my hand, telling me that she'd follow through. That's when I knew he was a goner. I swallowed as I packed away that miserable thought.
The nurse showed up with the chaplin moments later. Vad came up to me with rings,
“You're lucky I have a private jet and was getting my parents’ rings resized.” I thanked her with all my heart before returning back to Aly’s room gleefully. I smile cheekily, holding up the rings and gesturing to the priest. Izzy gasped while Emory caught on and laughed. I went to his bedside with the help of Izzy and sat down. I shot off instructions. Asking Emory to stand by Aly’s side as his best man while Izzy and Vad were my maids of honour. The priest stood in front of us and began the ceremony.
She looks into his eyes and she says…
I want you forever
Forever and Always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together
And always remember
Whether happy or sad or whatever
We'll still love each other
Forever and Always
Forever and Always
“I want you forever, Alystair Ajax Costas. Through the good, bad and the ugly times. We'll grow old together.” I insisted on the together bit before continuing,
“Always remember, whether happy, sad or whatever, we’ll still love each other. Forever and always, that's a promise, Alystair.” I kept my voice fierce and steady. There was no way I was going to let him go without a fight.
She finishes the vows
But the beeps are getting too slow
His voice is almost too low
Just as I had my last word, his heart rate seemed to have slowed. My eyes glanced back and forth from his face to the machine. He lets out a violent cough. He regains himself and slips his hand up my cheek, cupping my face so gently, you’d think I was the fragile one.
I love you forever
Forever and Always
Please just remember
Even if I'm not there,
I'll always love you
Forever and Always
He rasps out his vows and I grip his hand tightly, as if that was the only thing tethering him to this world. We exchange the rings. I’m shaking as he slides mine onto my finger. We just sit there, our hands clasped together. We said everything that needed to be said and yet, I broke down crying when I heard the long beep.