I MADE A TINY PAPER PATRICK

Help girl these CGI dalmatians are trying to fucking kill me

if I wrote a dystopian novel where the corrupt evil megacorporation that controls society has a fucking smirk for a logo, my editor would tell me to use a less heavy-handed metaphor

and yet

I love this because if I were to write a literary novel in the Western cannon that described the image of an apple with a chunk bitten off, any high school English student would tell you it is a Bible reference meant to represent the source of all evil and downfall of humanity and YET 

everyone is judging so do whatever the fuck you want

i like the idea of having a step-by-step schedule (like breakfast at x time, study at x time, etc.) but who’s gonna regulate that shit? me? that bitch is a toddler

how i sleep knowing i will pirate every single thing released on disney plus

how y’all gonna sleep after your computers are infected with a bazillion viruses and the feds gon’ bust your asses

how i sleep when I'm pirating disney with a vpn and anti-virus protection.

How I sleep after pirating everything from D+ while using an antivirus, VPN or proxy, and a cantenna to rip off the free wifi at Downtown Disney. If you can’t get wifi directly from the house of mouse McDonald’s will do.

How I sleep knowing I’m pissing off all the Disney bootlickers by pirating:

Oh no! What a terrible thing to do, this information should't be spread by reblogging it, that's for sure.

Okay, I have to admit, using Disney's own wifi to pirate Disney Plus shows is a stroke of absolute GENIUS

bands don’t make music to please you specifically. just like how your music taste has changed throughout your life, so has theirs. don’t throw a fit because alternative bands are “turning pop”. shut the fuck up and let people enjoy things.

Enamel Pins

Angela Chick on Etsy

See our #Etsy or #Enamel Pins tags

I

I gotfa make ththe thing

I RAN OUT OF GLUE

I NEED TO FIND MORE GLUE BEFORE HE DOES IT TO ME

He did it to him

The problem with having lesbian moms is you try to be super cool and cut all your hair off and buy a leather jacket and wear boots all the time and then you go to some event in your neighborhood and all these women three times your age start cooing “oh you look JUST like your mother when she was your age, my gosh what a blast from the past, oh I just love your hair”

And let me be very clear, okay: I’ve seen pictures of my mom when she was my age, and she looked cooler than I ever will. My mom had exactly my fashion sense except she was two point five degrees butcher and habitually took over government buildings. My other mom was about six degrees butcher than that, and SHE had a motorcycle. Both of them have been charged with felony arson. I’m the prep member of my family and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Please tell me at some point in your life some dick was like “we’re calling your parents over your behavior” only to have a bigger, more badass version of you come strolling in

Look obviously that happened many many times, usually with misogynist or ableist teachers. But I have a BETTER story than that, which is that when I was in 3rd grade, I went to this tiny alternative hippy school—it was a regular public school, it was just small and staffed/run by hippie communists—and my 3rd grade teacher was a woman who had been in an organization with my mother, and they had done direct action together more than a few times. We’ll call her D. One day I was sitting in D’s class, eight years old and bored out of my mind, and I scratched my name into the back of my plastic chair with a rock. Was this reasonable behavior? No. Why did I do it? Only the gods can say. I don’t actually remember doing the scratching, I just remember looking at the rock in my hand and my name on the chair and going, “HUH. That’s not good.”  So obviously I got caught, bc I couldn’t reasonably convince anyone that I wasn’t the one who had done it, since it was MY NAME, and as punishment for this act of arbitrary vandalism I was sentenced to recess detention for two weeks. It was October so this included Halloween. Halloween, to be clear, is a high holy day in San Francisco, and I was devastated to miss the informal festivities that would be occurring at recess that day, and I wept and wailed about this at home for some time until my mother decided that this was disproportionate punishment and took it into her own hands to do something about it.   So my mom walks into D’s office on a day when my mother does not have to be at work at a scheduled time, but D has to get her students from the yard in about ten minutes, and my mom sits down and says to her old friend and comrade, “Miranda is really upset about having detention on Halloween.” And D explains to my mother why the detention was issued, what the circumstances were, and my mother nods, and listens, and doesn’t argue, and doesn’t show any sign of getting up from her chair. And just says again “She’s really upset about having detention on Halloween.”  And D looks at my mother, and she looks at the clock in her office, which is telling her that she has to be on the yard in 2 minutes now, and then looks at my mother again, who shows no sign of having anywhere to be, my mother with whom D has organized and successfully executed multiple sit-ins and takeovers of government & corporate offices, and D says, “Okay, she doesn’t have to have detention on Halloween.”

Tell your moms that we love them.

You can express your love by donating to their organization, Prison Radio, which works relentlessly on a shoestring budget to amplify the voices of incarcerated people in the United States!

https://donate.prisonradio.org

An important update!

This is an old practice.

Cop are disgusting pigs. No offense to actual pigs. They’re pretty cool.

reblog this if you want a LONG (or short) anonymous message saying what they think of you.

Tell me what do you think of me! You can do it anonymously or not!

Happy Halloween🎃😈👻

some of y’all bout to be real mad at me. but it must be said.

i don’t like patrick’s beard.