@mycrystalhorse / mycrystalhorse.tumblr.com
This is kind of a love letter, so I will post this and then I’ll comment the story behind this two drawings.
Okay, sorry if you are about to reblog this and my whole story it’s there, but tumblr somehow works for my like a kind of therapist, so don’t mind this message if you want, I just need to write.
The thing it’s that, since september, my life went upside down, problems arrived, and so did insomnia and depression once more, somehow, I managed to make this problems aside since I was in my thesis semester and didn’t want more trouble to come. But, when I ended the semester I felt tired, not only because of all the work done , but also I felt kind of drained, lifeless, just,,, like I needed to nap a whole year. I tried my best to convince myself that it was only stress, that indeed needed to sleep and just relax, but oh man i was wrong. Drawing have always keep my mind sane, helped me with my depression but this time, I couldn’t bring myself to do it, not a single part of me wanted to touch my computer or paper, and I didn’t know exactly why.
I let time pass and nothing changed, I couldn’t bare to draw or sketch, it didn’t feel right, i didn’t have inspiration, motivation or just the will to make a drawing, I even felt like if I hated it. I think it was that. I didn’t like my drawings anymore, i didn’t like my compositions, lightning, colors, scales, nothing of my drawings liked me, and so I threw everything away, it didn’t felt like something i liked or enjoyed, it was just, a subject i hated it.
And then the worst to that problem came. Not just part of my family but people I get to trust and even love in some time of my life, kind of just… let all their thoughts towards me go. ‘Your art is not that great’, ‘I don’t know why you keep on trying’, ‘you are wasting your time’, ‘I’ve seen better’, ‘it’s kind of… mediocre, you know?’, ‘no one really likes what you do’, ‘I prefer a picture rather than a ‘realistic’ drawing’, ‘maybe you should really focus on other job, for the best…’ I don’t remember all the comments, but I remember the people who told them. It wasn’t jealousy, it was the truth, I least I did believe them all, at the point where I consider of deleting every single drawing. I looked at every single piece I had made over the years and I felt so foreign to them, they didn’t bring any sense of happiness to me anymore, they looked empty and without a soul… I even looked at the mistakes of each of them and I felt worst… ‘how did I dare to upload this?’
After that I didn’t I kind of quit drawing for good, I will only do it for my career and that was it, so I focused my time in other things, like reading more books, watching new movies, spent more time with my pets, even tv shows, which I rarely do, and let me tell you this is kind of cheesy but I wasn’t very frenetic to watch the Mandalorian but, I did and maybe it was the push I needed.
I felt like a child. That’s it. My childhood came back in the first episode, I remember the first time I watched Star Wars with my brother, how we fight with plastic light sabers, how we dreamed to be Jedi’s, and the desire to have countless adventures. I felt amazed, like that Ratatouille moment, I’m not kidding, I felt the same, and so, I admire the show, the lights, the world, the creatures, the textures, the design… you don’t know how many times I said ‘I need to draw that armor, it’s to amazing’ … I was in awe.
That’s is why it’s a kind of cheesy love letter. I can’t believe something of that nature made me loved again something I was hating at the moment. Since I don’t know how long, I wanted to express feelings in my drawings, I wanted the eyes to talk as well as a posture. I wanted lights to add feelings and colors to complete an experience… I missed that so much and I didn’t realized it before.
Still. I’m just sketching at the moment, I feel like I need to warm up again to do great things in the future. And so, to the people that didn’t like it in the beginning, well, I’m not going to stop drawing just because they don’t want me to, that’s how I express my feelings, how I share my point of view and what I’m best at.
So, this two drawings means a lot for me, much more than I can express with words, and after all, they represent the beginning of a new year, and new things to come.
Hi there! I know I haven’t post anything in ages but still, I think this time it’s very necessary. Turns out my family it’s having a lot of troubles recently, so bad and big that I need to manage to pay for my studies. That’s why I’m starting to sell prints. Please if you are interested, read the whole thing, please. My situation right now it’s very delicate. Believe me, I’m very scared of what may happen in the future, so, if you live outside Mexico and you want a print, I can’t send you the physical drawing, the only thing I can do (for now), it’s to send you the digital drawing without my watermarks and of course, some small drawings related to the one you are buying or a simple commission (with this I mean like cartoonish- doodles- sketch, not like my final works because I don’t have time for full renders until December). This because I can only go outside to university, that’s all, that’s the situation. I don’t want to explain the whole thing, but, it’s really bad. So mostly what I’m selling right now it’s my whole Instagram gallerie (there are few exceptions, but you can text me about this). All those drawings are for sale and I also have some that I made in traditional art, those are in my Facebook page that I recently open yesterday. I will leave you all my social media here plus some examples of my drawings. You can direct message me via Twitter, Facebook or Instagram as you prefer so we can make some agreements.
Thank you for reading my whole Bible.
-Carolina.
If you are not interested in any prints, I will be more than happy if you help me to share this post or my social media with your friends! - thank you so much-
John Wick by Carolina Lta aka @littlemorrison / @mycrystalhorse
Let’s pray for Jaime Lannister by: Carolina_Lta aka Little Morrison or @mycrystalhorse
____ Personal note: Enjoy the details since they made me forget depression for a while. ___
“You’ll never know if you can fly, unless you take the risk of falling” -Nightwing.
Art by : Carolina LTA ( @littlemorrison @mycrystalhorse ) Instagram : Carolina_Lta
“There is a superhero in all of us, we just need courage to put on the cape” Superman
Art by : Carolina Lta ( @littlemorrison @mycrystalhorse ) Instagram: Carolina_LTA
“Let’s save the universe” by Carolina Lta ( @littlemorrison @mycrystalhorse)
Hello everyone, I wanted to write this to explain some few things… The past month and well the begging of this one had turn worse that I could have possible imagined… Two weeks ago I lost a close member of my family, I knew this day was coming but still, I can’t express by words how I felt when I saw her smiling and the next morning she was gone, forever. I can’t tell you how cold and dead I felt when my mom called me crying when I was in my morning classes, time did stopped, my mind was blank as I drove towards my house but I didn’t cry until I saw her. She was resting in her bed with makeup on like I remembered her, and there my heart fell to the ground, I watched her for hours because I wanted to see her breathing, I needed to know she wasn’t gone, I watched her eyes, maybe she was sleeping, she couldn’t be gone, she couldn’t… but she didn’t spoke my name anymore, she didn’t held my hand, I didn’t saw her shiny eyes or the soft smile, she was gone.
I saw my family in the funeral home and my eyes scanned the place three times trying to find her, and first I didn’t comprehend where she was, I was still wanting to hug her, I wanted to feel her hands on my hair as she spoked sweet nothing in my ear, but then i realized she was gone. The brown coffin was in the middle of the room and her picture beside it, she was smiling… with tons of flowers around her, I didn’t know if I wanted to smile or cry… she had always loved flowers, I remember her garden, it was full of roses of all colors, full of live… but now, the room was full of them, she would be happy to see them… I cried even harder when I saw her in the coffin, she didn’t belong there, she couldn’t leave right now… And so the day ended, and I felt empty like everyone in my family. No one said a word for over 2 days, and my mind was a chaos even if my face was neutral. I should have talked to her more than I did, I should have draw of her more, I should have played the song I wrote her, I should have hugged her more, I should have, I should have, I should have… endless of things I should have done before she was gone, and I didn’t, and I don’t know what to do, time took her away from everyone…
I arrived at college and I couldn’t focus on anything, I was writing endlessly apologies on my notebook, things I wanted to let her know, songs about her, my dreams, I just needed her to listen me one last time…
Dr. Strange by Carolina Lta
Hello everyone out there. Please help me today, this account it’s Facebook selling my artwork as theirs, please help me by reporting the media, they don’t have any permission to sell or edit (erasing my name and sign).
I have seen your comments about this, thank you so much for the support. Apparently I can still see the publication but some of you can’t, so still a friend told me that we can report on the store page (since they keep on selling many other people art there), so here’s once more the link
