Bigger on the inside

Me

Step 1,2 3…. But, the best self defense is awareness.

The most popular feiyue shoes on: http://www.icnbuys.com/feiyue-shoes

follow back

please reblog this, this could save a life

So useful

bitches will bring a million things to do on a train ride or long car trip and then spend the entire time looking out the window and daydreaming. i’m bitches

The Beatles did not have a fuck to give

I can’t even name 5 Beatles songs and I find this hilarious.

an authority figure: [expresses slight, arguable disappointment in me]

me, shaking: Wow. Can’t Believe I’m The Worst Person Alive

authority figure: *is in a bad mood or even is just less friendly than usual*

me, stomach in knots: My fault? I must be the cause of this?

im going to have a stroke

Instead try… Person A: You know… the thing Person B: The “thing”? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD

As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:

Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”

The “hard to switch back” thing also happens, by the way. When I was in student exchange, and went to Germany for the holiday, I spoke English with my friend and Russian with her mother (who was originally from Kazakhstan, and knows Russian). So we’re on the bus, and I tell a story, and suddenly she’s very quiet. And then I realise that I spoke he last three sentences in Russian without noticing.

sometimes I don’t even choose what language I’ll be talking today it just kinda happens

When you’re trying to act normal in front of a group of people you barely know and someone mentions one of your special interests

if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

You missed some of the best ones

the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.

But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.

How could you forget this one though

I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.

So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.

Art world is not thrilled with that.

Enter Stuart Semple.

Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.

Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.

Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”

Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.

Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.

He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.

Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.

So I think we can guess who got the better deal.

And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.

…But not quite.

Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.

No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.

The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.

Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.

So that’s been the art world for the last two years.

Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.

Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”

ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!

I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:

Two things:

1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.

2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple

I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor

He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god

It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor.

An older project, but he also did this:

(x)

oh dude hes metal as fuck 

Every addition to this post is better than the last.

After seeing this, I wanted to go look more into Stuart semple’s stuff, and I found this

With this in the description

“Anyone*” I wonder who he could want to not have any England???

Stuart semple is great and he is out here fighting with wonderful pettiness

where’s that quiz where you choose lke 4 colours u like and 4 u dont and it hands your ass on a plate

thank you @cumleaf @@ http://www.astro.com/cgi/atxgen.cgi?btyp=cf

I see this on my dash every couple months and re-take the test every time and this is always my reaction:

I feel personally attacked by these colors

Damn.

Of great importance to you now is:

It is very important to you to achieve what you are striving for and to experience the joyful fulfillment of your wishes. The thing that actually often compels you into action is your deep yearning for unadulterated, lasting happiness and inner peace.

You need the comforting certainty of having a solid base in your life. Stable living conditions, adequate income and sensual pleasure and a certain measure of comfort are among your life goals. You want to be secure against the whims of fate and to be able to devote yourself without distraction to the things that give you satisfaction.

You now want to pull out all the stops in order to achieve what you have planned. Your chances are good because if you feel something is important you are able to show initiative, grab the opportunity spontaneously and act with vigor.

When daily stress takes a toll on your nerves, you prefer to retreat to a quiet place, to your comfortable home, your hobbies or the sweetness of doing nothing.

Whatever you perceive – people, things or information – you analyze it, both critically and with a certain amount of skepticism, because you want to be certain whether it is beneficial to you or not. You are not easily misled, and in line with the motto “once bitten, twice shy”, you keep your distance from everything that could damage your wallet, your reputation, your wellbeing or your peace of mind.

Again and again, you consciously adopt a positive inner attitude. This helps you to better stand up under the hardships of the present. You create goals, projects or ideals for yourself that give you a boost and the hope that your life will be better and happier. You search for ways and means which allow you to enjoy life without care and to spend more time devoting yourself to the things that bring you joy.

At the moment you feel most anxious due to your:

Your need for loving company and tender physical contact is not being satisfied in the measure you would like. Your hunger for warm-hearted attention drives you to seek contact. Although you hold close association with a few people, when the interaction is over, you often feel lonely and left to your own devices. It saddens you to find so little understanding and responsiveness towards your needs and difficulties.

You often feel isolated from other people by an invisible wall, and sometimes you get the creeping feeling that even the people you like don’t really love you and possibly even reject you. On the other hand, you enjoy standing out from the crowd with your willfulness, unusual views and egocentric behavior.

The difficulties you are presently forced to deal with sometimes cause you distress and tax your energies. Instead of altering or leaving this situation, you heroically attempt to hold on and to act as if nothing were bothering you.

You believe people should behave correctly, considerately and kindly towards you so that your interactions run pleasantly and without friction. Since this is frequently not the case, you often become indignant over their incorrect behavior and views or their lack of kindness.

The behavior of certain other people is a thorn in your side. You don’t feel like putting up with just anything without objection, and because of this, you can give no guarantee you won’t end up in an argument with the person in question. Your stubborn attitude could easily provoke confrontations. At the moment, your mood is somewhat gloomy.

Your sense of wellbeing is negatively affected by stressful circumstances. You often feel misunderstood, unfairly treated or left at the mercy of the unacceptable behavior of a person who is important to you. You don’t want to let on that you are aggravated by this, and you keep your irritation to yourself. Inside you, though, the accumulated resentment strains your nerves. For this reason, you are not very emotionally resilient at this time.

I have been flayed.

So have I.

i am an idiot sometimes but sometimes i am an idiot to be funny you know? for the joke. and i want people to know the difference. sometimes my actions are purposeful. sometimes i think. i want you to know that. even when i am just being a regular idiot i choose to say things knowing i am an idiot. i am the chooser of my own fate. i am the god of my own reality.

I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers

what why would you use numbers

so IT FUCKING MAKES SENSE WHAT THE HELL IS A SOFT MOORE OR A FRESH MAN WHY ARE THE MEN FRESH

America makes no sense, as usual.

bless the person that actually made the chart

laughter from France

France what the fuck

France you had one job

I’m crying

This is hilarious

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW

THIS IS A TRUMPET

THIS IS A TROMBONE

THIS IS A TUBA

AND THIS IS A FRENCH HORN

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

You mean trumpet

Slidey Trumpet

Big ass trumpet

Drunk Trumpet

I’M GONNA PUNCH YOU

My sides

AT LEAST YOUR INSTRUMENTS LOOK DIFFERENT 

those are some fancy guitars

EXCUSE YOU THAT IS A BASS, A VIOLIN, A FIDDLE, AND A VIOLA

Those are big mama violin and her little violings

String trumpets.

THATS NOT A BASS YOU DICK THATS A CELLO GET UR FUCKIN STRING INSTRUMENTS RIGHT JFC

things heating up in the orchestra fandom

I know what a trumpet is I play one

Time to reblog this and give my friends a stroke

Being a past trumpet player and now a French horn this post makes me very angery

I tap keys

But hey what about

Wow… Those are really strange trumpets, where did you get them from?

What about this six-string viola I found?

acoustic trumpet

#m gonna punch you

Violins is never the solution

These brilliantly designed stores are living in the future (x)

Me, raising the volume to listen to the song better

Phone : You are raising the volume above the recommended level

Me : 

Good Omens scenes that immediately made me think of Doctor Who. Part 1.

Crowley + being a dramatic bitch

Good Omens (2019)