tips for success in corporate America based on my own experience:

1. Never complain

2. Never let your frustration show. Always reset by the next day.

3. Never take anything personally

4. Do as little as you can while getting the most credit

5. Don’t trust anyone you work with, especially at the same level

6. A good attitude goes a long way (not overly peppy, necessarily, just a good attitude)

7. At a more junior level, being liked is more important than being talented at your job. Don’t get into unnecessary conflict (see 10).

8. Get your work done, but don’t constantly look to go above and beyond. Do the bare minimum, and spend the rest of your time building your network

9. People don’t care about you. Get that into your head now, and it will save you a LOT of time.

10. Stop caring so much. Unless you’re literally C-suite, nothing about your job should be THAT important to you. It’s a job, don’t make it your life.

thinking about the time my roommates and I were debating cancelling Netflix and I created a spreadsheet with a heatmap for payback periods to compare subscription costs vs buying the 4-5 shows we watch on prime

very niche feeling that honestly makes me sound like an evil bond villain, ik, but-

i might be an egomaniac but i find i utterly enjoy when people try to call me out or act like they can see through me. It's literally so entertaining, in the same condescending way one would indulge a toddler or so. Like 'yes, wow, you can see that I don't care about your inane prattling about gas prices, good for you, you're definitely like some FBI psychologist or something'.

It's not like it's particularly hard to tell my boredom? But they feel so, so smug about it. Like they have cracked the case, discovered a centuries old egyptian treasure. I love people sometimes, they're so funny.

I hate having indecisive friends because not only are they incapable of making a single decision ever, but they also get resentful of the fact that you have no problem voicing your opinions.

Like, yes, of course we always do what I want to do. I'm the only one that can make up my mind in a timely fashion.

Am I irrationally upset that my friends took so long to pick somewhere to get dinner that eventually everything closed and the only place open was Taco Bell? Yes.

XNTJ on vaccines

hot take: enneagram 3s were raised on a “good deeds get rewarded, bad deeds get punished” system. Whether it was instilled in their head during childhood by parents/guardians, or self imposed based on their observing of the world- doesn’t matter.

Every moment since then, they’ve been torturing themselves mentally whenever something bad happens out of their control. Everything bad that happens to them that they can’t justify is a “punishment” by some outer force, and everything good that happens is a “reward” for our own actions. It could be narcissism or our own strain of trauma idk but it sucks lol

101 Essays to Change the Way You Think - Brianna West

//first of all, highly recommend this read. While I've read a variety of business-y, self-help-y type books, this one I think is a little different. It's a lot more honest.

//second, I can do more "reflections/thoughts" but this specific chapter stood out to me, so here are my comments.

CH 14(?) Expectations you must let go of in your 20s

1. You are meant to be extraordinary

Since I could talk, probably, I've told myself I'm meant for greatness. It left me feeling entitled to success, which I've realized is a horrible mindset. This section talks about how extraordinary people are rare for a reason. Nothing in this life is going to be handed to you. Let go of this expectation and start doing the things you actually love, even if nobody sees them, even if nobody applauds you. This is where you'll find extraordinary

2. You are at the beginning of your life

Not to sound depressing, but I've emphasized this point several times on my blog. You could die tomorrow. What will you have to show for your life? I hardly think you'll hand in a hard copy of your resume. Life is short. Don't die with any regrets.

3. Your faults are more forgivable, and your attributes are more exceptional

I've been guilty of this my whole life. I think everyone is, but hey, at least I'll admit it. I don't know if it's the narcissism, but I've always tried to justify so many things to myself. I didn't push myself as hard as I could because I thought I was better. Didn't land me in the best place. Didn't get me anywhere, except trapped in the confines of my small little world, in my limited mind.

4. You can literally be whatever you want

Wanting something badly enough doesn't automatically qualify you to have it. You have to work for everything, and even then, sometimes you won't get it. It sounds depressing, but you should feel grateful you had the opportunity and learned so much along the way instead of focusing on the disappointment.

5. You can outsmart pain

This one...this one hit. Especially because I live with a chronic pain/autoimmune condition. It fucked me up, because I was a slave to physical pain, but it made me feel so weak mentally. It held me back from a lot of opportunities in life, made a lot of things very difficult for me, and I resented myself for it. It took a long time for me to learn how to get over this kind of thinking. Pain is pain. It exists, whether you're ready for it or not.

6. Love is something other people give you

"You can't expect someone to love you, until you love yourself" is something I've heard my entire life. But it's more than that. So much more. If we don't love ourselves, it's because we feel we are lacking something inside. It's not up to others to find the missing puzzle piece.

7. Feeling something deeply means it's "meant to be"

Intensity, passion, desire ≠ destiny. Nothing is certain except death, which sounds morbid, I know. Your life will never turn out to be exactly the way you planned, no matter how much of a control freak you are. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will let go of that burden on your shoulders. And it will feel amazing, trust me.

8. If you work on yourself, you won't struggle anymore

You'll probably struggle more, honestly. But that struggle will mean something. It will give you something to live for.

9. You can control what other people think of you

This one I disagree with, kind of. I think you can definitely influence other people's opinions of you, but it will not create a genuine relationship between you and the other person. Just be aware that is the sacrifice you should be willing to make.

10. Hard Work Guarantees Success

I am sensing a theme. Stop expecting things. You will be disappointed whether or not you meet your goals. People are always like "it's not about the end goal, it's about the journey" and I thought it was so cheesy, but no, there's a lot of truth in that statement. Hard work doesn't guarantee success, it guarantees character development.

11. Your thoughts will change themselves when your circumstances change

Look, you might think if your circumstances were different, you'd be happier. But again, nothing in this life is certain (except death). You don't know that you would feel happier. People constantly have problems in life. Even if your problems today are solved, you'll get new ones, I promise. It's not ideal, but it's life.

12. Other people are responsible for your feelings

People are going to offend you. People are going to hurt you. Because you are not the center of their universe. The only person you care about is you, and it's not different for other people. Don't take things personally. Don't get defensive. Listen and learn and improve.

13. Emotional Intelligence = Infallible Composure, Self-Esteem = Feeling great about yourself 24/7, Happiness = No problems

This cannot be further from the truth. Being stoic 100% of the time is stunting your ability to comprehend and understand emotion. Self-Esteem is feeling good about yourself, despite not feeling good all the time. Happiness is how you cope with problems, not live without them.

14. The right person will come at the right time

There's no such thing as being ready. Life is unpredictable, and you take whatever it gives you. You can complain, but it won't change shit. It's not about people coming at the right time, it's appreciating the moment when they do.

15. You can postpone happiness

People always value security over happiness. They keep trying to fix all their problems, all the while missing their life play out in front of them. Happiness, like all things, is temporary. It only exists in the moment. If you keep trying to fix all your problems and focus on the future, you will never be able to enjoy the moment, and you will not experience fleeting moments of happiness.

16. Anxiety and negative thinking are just things you have to get over.

Negative thinking and anxiety shows us what's missing in our lives. The more you ignore it, the worse your anxiety/thoughts will get. Take action and figure out what's missing in your life.

17. Focusing solely on your own needs will make you happiest

I mean yes, meet your own needs. But no matter who you are, you will never feel happy or fulfilled until you can make someone you love's life more worthwhile. Humans (no matter how introverted) need other humans. Meet your own needs first, then meet the needs of others.

me, on a daily basis: am I asexual or just apathetic from childhood trauma

I think it's heartbreaking how some people will scream their lungs out for someone to listen, and nobody will ever hear them.

I swear to god, spite fuels me more than any kind of pre-workout or crack energy drink

current aesthetic

5am hot yoga. fluffy pink slippers. black satin robes. shiny lipstick. americanos, extra hot. rainy days. cool weather. new candles. white sheets. smooth blowouts. green smoothies. late nights. silk dresses. slow music. summer kisses. rosé. rooftop views. heat. expensive perfume. strawberries. sunday laundry. stilettos. stars. deep conversations. fresh air.