“I’m just gonna put my paws in the water.”
The most beautiful thing I have heard all day and you have the opportunity to hear it too.
gringophobia
One of my faves that was lost to the internet is back
godpenis
does anyone know the name of this instrument and possibly the source of this video?
weirdsyrup
it’s a hang drum :)
watersoulwitch
Everytime I see this I reblog.
rudelyfe
I missed this
caliloner559
Never forget
Lmao
Pokemans
doomfistsbabymama
Everybody know that’s big dick bee
BEES DON’T EVEN HAVE DICKS THAT’S A STINGER!!!
imleft-handed
😂😂😂😂
Lmfao
the-art-of-oblivion-blog1 reblogged
Why Sherlock isn’t really sexually oblivious
Sherlock is considered by the vast majority of fans as a sexually oblivious person. But is he, really? I always believed quite the opposite, so I’ll try to explain my viewpoint. Let’s remember the dinner scene in A Study in Pink:
sherlocks-final-resolve-is-love
the-art-of-oblivion-blog1 reblogged
HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.
kuroba101
This is my new favourite story.
When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”
So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…
“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.
There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.
Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.
But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.
Seriously, this is legit.
In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline. Here’s the ad they posted.
Only problem is, they misprinted the number. And the number they printed? It went straight through to fucking NORAD. This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay. NORAD was the front line.
And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD. Oh no no no.
Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says.
“This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says.
The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”
His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying.
“And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.”
“It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.
And then, it got better.
“The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says.
“And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says.
“Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.
For real.
“And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.”
“Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”
So yeah. I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.
I LOVE THE NORAD STORY!!!!
So that’s how the Santa tracker began and I don’t think I’ve ever heard a better story.
bryanwashere
Fred Rogers ladies and gentleman!
Here are some interesting facts about him:
- He basically saved public television. In 1969 the government wanted to cut public television funds. Mister Rogers then went to Washington where he gave an amazing merely six minute speech. By the end of the speech not only did he charm the hostile Senators, he got them to double the budget they would have initially cut down. The whole thing can be found on youtube, a video called “Mister Rogers defending PBS to the US Senate.”
- “Certain fundamentalist preachers hated him because, apparently not getting the “kindest man who ever lived” memo, they would ask him to denounce homosexuals. Mr. Rogers’s response? He’d pat the target on the shoulder and say, “God loves you just as you are.” Rogers even belonged to a “More Light” congregation in Pittsburgh, a part of the Presbyterian Church dedicated to welcoming LGBT persons to full participation in the church.”
- According to a TV Guide piece on him, Fred Rogers drove a plain old Impala for years. One day, however, the car was stolen from the street near the TV station. When Rogers filed a police report, the story was picked up by every newspaper, radio and media outlet around town. Amazingly, within 48 hours the car was left in the exact spot where it was taken from, with an apology on the dashboard. It read, “If we’d known it was yours, we never would have taken it.”
- Once, on a fancy trip up to a PBS exec’s house, he heard the limo driver was going to wait outside for 2 hours, so he insisted the driver come in and join them (which flustered the host). On the way back, Rogers sat up front, and when he learned that they were passing the driver’s home on the way, he asked if they could stop in to meet his family. According to the driver, it was one of the best nights of his life—the house supposedly lit up when Rogers arrived, and he played jazz piano and bantered with them late into the night. Further, like with the reporters, Rogers sent him notes and kept in touch with the driver for the rest of his life.
Always reblog MR
trvpmami
Hero
Mr Rogers has been and will always remain a beacon of light in this dark fucking world
smis-happens
I’m sorry, the KKK did what?
iamladyloki
C R Y I N G OMG
loki-cat
I DONT THINK YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND
HOW MUCH I LOVE THESE SPIDERMAN PICS
OH OH OHHH! I have some!!
we-avenge-if-we-want-to
deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
oh shit not this fucking bullshit again oh my god jfklsdjflkj
THERE’S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM!
prodigium-in-the-tardis
HOLY FUCK HE’S BACK OMG
I’M ACUTALLY CRYING HERE OH GOD
locaoverloki
can’t forget these
doctorwinchesterin221b
THESE ARE GOLDEN
lucifer-the-morning-star
THESE ARE THE BEST THINGS IN EXISTENCE OMG
nunyabizni
kardcaptor-sakura
How can ya’ll have a Spiderman thread and not post the original?
nunyabizni
Oh dear me
martin freeman gifs galore
lets talk about how this gif
makes me smile
every.fucking.time
jennalouisebrealey
Can we talk about this one, too?
lokis-army-at-221b
yes
we can talk about everything martin freeman
because Martin Freeman
whybenedict
how about this one
oh god
lokis-army-at-221b
okay can we just keep reblogging this with adorable gifs of him? yes? good.
whybenedict
lokis-army-at-221b
martinfreefan
somewhereonlyiknow19
mart-infreeman
the-art-of-oblivion-blog1 reblogged
My man Jesus
goddessolga
What story is that?
ffermented-salmonella
Matthew 18:9
“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”
beachfox
“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”
“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”
“wut”
“What?”
“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”
“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”
“Uh….”
“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”
Canon Jesus > Fanon Jesus.
the-art-of-oblivion-blog1 reblogged
reasons to love harrison ford
1. hates donald trump 2. got his ear pierced at claires because why not 3. legit asks people to beat him up in action scenes EVEN NOW AS AN OLD MAN 4. is arguably one of the most iconic star wars characters yet couldnt give less of a crap abt star wars 5. the universe tried to kill him (or at least permanently incapacitate him) twice in 2015 and it only mildly inconvenienced him 6. flies helicopters in search and rescue missions 7. was in his 40s for the majority of the indiana jones series which is insane when you think about all the stunts involved 8. quote “the director yells cut and harrison cracks open a beer and then builds a fucking shed” 9. arguably sexy 10. points angrily and its super effective
11. is just a really sweet person 12. no really my dad worked with him on firewall as the tech advisor and he was just a really swell guy 13. got my mom’s birth date from my dad and sent her flowers 14. he sent my mom flowers for her birthday 15. he didn’t even know her he just wanted to be sweet
james-asslow
this was a beautiful and necessary edition to this post thank you oh my god
thecarrisonfiles
Awwwww
where-are-your-source-citations
When he was asked to be in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” video, in which he pulled up alongside them in a car and gave Jimmy a little wink and an air-kiss, when he showed up at the set he looked kind of put out. Kimmel was afraid he wasn’t down with what they were asking. But he just said, “I don’t know, this wardrobe…don’t you have anything mesh that I could wear?”
When he was filming “Witness” he rented a small farm from a friend of mine. At the end of the filming my friend went and checked out the property as usual. He noticed the barn door had been leveled so it no longer would swing open on it’s own. Went into the house and saw the closets had been redone, in the kitchen the cabinets had been replaced and all the drawers now opened really well. Turns out that there were thousands of dollars of work and materials put into fixing up everything at the place.
My friend called Ford and asked him how much he was asking for the work. Ford told him doing that kind of thing helped him relax and stay sane when he was filming. Would not take a dime. Plus he paid for a new water heater and got the sewage system cleaned out.
And he paid rent to live there the entire time.
an-gremlin
Local Carpenter Stumbles Into Stardom, Worries This May Interfere With His Carpentry
My step sister was driving through Wyoming once, near Ford’s ranch. She stops for gas, and as she’s filling up, this huge motorcycle roars in behind her, scared the pants off her. The rider, dressed in all black steps off, and she yells at him “who do you think you are blasting in here like that, you Darth Vader looking motherfucker?”. He takes off the helmet, and it’s Harrison Ford, and without missing a beat he says
“Hey! I’m not Darth Vader, I’m Luke Skywalker”
From the co-production designer on The Force Awakens, Darren Gilford:
“The Millennium Falcon was the first thing we were actually building. I had been in London and I came home back to L.A. for Christmas. So I go to Sports Chalet to do some last-minute shopping; I get there early, run to the back of the store, get what I need. I’m coming back through the store, and I just happen to pass this person holding up a pair of ski pants, and it’s Harrison Ford. I look at him, he looks at me and puts his head right down. I can tell he doesn’t want to be bothered; I’m sure from the look on my face he knew I knew who he was.
So I walk past him, and after about 10 feet I think, ‘If there’s ever a time to say hello to Harrison Ford, I’m building the Millennium Falcon!’ So I turn around very hesitantly and go, ‘Harrison, I’m sorry to bother you. I’m co-production designer on the new Star Wars, I’m just back from London, and I’ve been building the Falcon.’ A big smile came across his face, he put his hand out, and we had such a great conversation — he couldn’t have been sweeter.
As I’m walking away, he goes, ‘Darren!’ and calls me back. He goes, ‘The toggle switches.’ I go, ‘Toggle switches.’ He goes, ‘The toggle switches on the Falcon. When they built it the first time, they bought cheap toggle switches without any springs in them. Every time I threw a toggle switch, it fell back; it wouldn’t hold. It drove me crazy. Please, make sure the toggle switches are fixed this time.’ I go, ‘No problem! I’ll take care of it!’
So months go by, I’m back in London, we’re getting close [to principal photography], and I get a phone call saying J.J.’s headed down to check out the cockpit, and Harrison’s with him. I run down there and I see J.J. in the passenger seat and Harrison in the pilot seat. They’re just giddy; they’re having so much fun. And then I see Harrison look up, and he just starts throwing all the toggle switches: boom, boom, boom, boom. [Laughs.] And I remember thinking, ‘Phew, minor victory. Take solace in that and move on. Next task.’ That’s my favorite story.”
HARRISON FORD SMILES WHEN MEETING CREW MEMBERS AND IS A NERD FOR FUNCTIONING PRODUCTION DESIGN
Don’t forget about his Halloween costumes
extraterrestrial-communist
Harrison ford is a chaotic-good-aligned cryptid, confirmed
the-art-of-oblivion-blog1 reblogged
cartnsncreal
Reblog and you might save someone’s life, especially with all our Black Girls going missing #ProtectBlackGirls #SaveLife
For those who don’t know what’s happening in the video, she untied her shoelaces, pulled one through the inside of the zip tie binding her hands, then tied the shoelaces together. Then, by pulling downward and back and forth on the shoelaces with her feet, she created enough friction to wear away part of the ziptie, making it weak enough to snap right off her hands.
hello-i-am-the-mad-hatter
SIGNAL BOOST
SIGNAL BOOST
SIGNAL BOOST
jewel-charisse
Will always reblog
keyhollow
Protect all the ladies and the dudes
For those who don’t have shoelaces and for those who do but don’t want to trip over their own feet in case something goes wrong, here’s another way:
It’s all about quick, determined movement of your arms. To see it in action, watch the video at https://youtu.be/0Gr6HX_IKpw?t=9m – the zip ties part starts around the 8:00 min mark. The video also shows how to escape handcuffs and duct tape. And if you’re wondering what to do when you’ve got your hands behind your back, go to approx. the 0:20 min mark of the following video: “Moving cuffs from behind back to front position” (taken from thrillwriting.blogspot.de/2013/05/credit-wikipedia-disclaimer-this-is-non.html, where you’ll also find additional information on how to escape handcuffs).
For teach this to your kids….boys too. We don’t need to lose noone
BE SAFE YA’LL!
a compilation in honour of our first christmas without vine.
Classic Hollywood Bloopers
izziesworldofizzie
And the greatest Hollywood blooper of all time:
kgm42986
These are WONDERFUL
Two more of my favorites:
These are great..made me smile😊💖
The fact these exist are truly amazing.
In the olden days, if footage was not used in a film, it was either destroyed or erased so they could reuse the reel, because it was cheaper than storing unused film.
Google the BBC’s lost archives to find out more.
the-art-of-oblivion-blog1 reblogged
I wish people would stop saying “It’s July. Well done for wasting half a year.” Did you make someone smile in the past six months? Did you stroke a cat or throw a stick for a dog? Did you learn a new fact or teach someone a new joke? Did you laugh, cry, scream or sing in the past six months? Because if so, congratulations for not wasting your time at all.
luftblumen
I really needed this
thecapslockbrony
I’m bringing this back for December to remind everyone.
You did not waste your year.
If you made it this far, that’s already not wasting your year.
You made it through the year, you laughed, you cried, you smiled, you saw the sun and felt the rain, and most importantly, you’re still here.
You did not waste your year.
You mad it this far, and I’m proud of you.
johnallerdyce-remade-deactivate
Which Steve are you?
hey why does Dwayne the Rock Johnson keep asking his daughter what kind of pancakes she wants over instagram??
Like ???
Dude just loves his daughter and pancakes