24|04|2024

The week started in a very stressful way, so much so that I decided to skip class today. Yesterday was really too much for me with my commute and everything, and at the end of the day I am not missing anything too important with today's lecture. I took this as a way to start working for my English lit exam. I realized I had a pretty big block with it, I just couldn't bring myself to do stuff for this exam because it makes me very nervous (especially writing a paper for it). I decided to start with easy approachable tasks in order to get started and so far it's working. My paper will be on The Merchant Of Venice, which means that I need to reread the play and annotate the useful passages, but before I do that I wanted to write in pen all the annotations I originally wrote in pencil. So this was my main task of the day. Tomorrow I will start my first reread of the play, and once I am done with that I will plan the next move. I feel like this is the best way for me to approach a task that scares me. Just break it down in much smaller tasks and start on the easier ones.

productivity:

📖: Miti E Leggende Dei Celti by M. Fois

🎵: Miracle by A Day To Remember

I am not a big procrastinator usually but there's some tasks i have been avoiding like the plague so here's a to do list to hold myself accountable. To make it less overwhelming the goal is to complete at least one task each week.

For the love of the gods don't be like me and remember about your tea

20|04|2024

I finally worked on a general plan of my study to do list for the next couple of months. As usual creating this kind of overview makes me feel way better because I feel like I have a clear idea of what I have to do. I spent the rest of the day reading and then out with my mom exploring old royal residences and birdwatching in a field.

📖: Nona The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

study to do list april - may 2024

I am back into my studying routine and so I am writing a master to do list for my uni work for the next couple of months. This is going to be edited so much in the next few weeks, but having a bit public to do list is a good way to stay motivated and track my progress during long periods. The end goal of the next couple of months is to take two exams in the summer session, I will pick the precise dates as I work on everything but they will either be in June or at the beginning of July. Both require me writing a paper before the oral exam, which is not something I have to do often so it's going to be extra work for me.

English lit

Modern history lab

19|04|2024

I am realizing that getting back into a study routine isn't going to be easy because at least today I was not motivated at all to accomplish the minor tasks I had to work on. To be fair I have been very sleepy all day so that definitely had a role in it. I did work on my tasks in the end and I didn't even need to much time to do that, but still I had to put in more effort than I normally would so this whole getting back to studying and productivity is going to be an interesting journey. Overall the day was good I had a few things to do but I also managed to pack in some much needed relax time so I am happy about that. I would say it was a balanced day. Tomorrow's task will be to create an overview of my studying for the next month or so, and then I am taking the rest of the weekend to myself, again for the whole "trying to start slowly and not going from 0 to 100" thing.

things I did today:

📖:Nona The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

18|04|2024

First day of slowly getting back to my studying routine. Today was mostly organizational after my first week of lectures, but I accomplished a few things on my to do list. Tomorrow I will focus on fixing my notes, and maybe start planning everything I have to work on in the next couple of months. I am starting with small steps to get back into the habit and not to go from zero to a hundred and burn myself out again.

some things I did today:

📖: Nona The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

16|04|2024

I am so tired I cannot wait to go to sleep. Today went well, my battle with anxiety was better and I am figuring out ways to get enough food despite my stomach acting up because of said anxiety. The winning technique of today was eating a salad before taking my bus and brining plan foods with me on the road to avoid feeling nauseous. It did work and I was full enough until I got home in the mid afternoon. It's a decent enough solution so I hope it will continue working on my class days. Brining some tea with me has also been a very good addition, my backpack is heavier but it's worth it, it's very comforting for me and today I realized how much of a positive influence it has on my mood. I did try to read a bit while waiting for my class but people started talking in the hall and I couldn't focus on the page for the life of me, which is a nightmare because I get there so early I could read so much, maybe tomorrow I will be more lucky. I did end up highlighting yesterday's notes while we were waiting for the professor so that was a bit of additional productivity I hadn't planned. The lecture was good, today's professor I knew already and I like the topics he studies unfortunately he has the most relaxing voice possible which is honestly very pleasing to hear but unfortunate when you have to focus very hard.

15|04|2024

First day back to class. I am slowly going to get back to my productivity routine. Today my anxiety levels were over the roof, it was really hard especially because it fucks up my stomach really bad and eating becomes very painful and stressful. I will have to find a way to properly manage that, but I know I can overcome it. I did take with me some warm herbal tea and that was a great idea because it was very helpful and comforting. The lecture itself was good, I am very excited for it which is great because it means the motivation will be high. There will be a lot of work to do, but as I said I am excited and there will be different professors talking about stuff so I think the interest is going to be pretty high. After class I took a walk into town with my mom which was a great way to help me relax, I ended up getting this new book I am really interested in. When I got back home I also got to spend a bit of time with my brother who made me tea and we planned not one but two movie afternoons and I cannot wait. Spending quality time with him is something I have really missed in the past few months and this is a great way to spend time together, it's really recharging for me. Finally I took a relaxing bath to also help me reduce the remaining anxiety and it was actually quite helpful.

📖: Nona The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

14|04|2024

Enjoying the sun on the couch on our balcony. Taking walks in nature every other day. Starting our yearly lotr rewatch with my brother and finally spending some quality time together after months. Reading late at night. Sipping jasmine green tea and falling in love with that blend again. Laughing at the descent into madness of my friend who I conviced to read the locked tomb and rereading it myself. Picking back up my bujo after months to set up what I will need once I'll get back into my study routine next week. Seeing how much my lavender plants are growing from day to day. Just a few things of the last little while.

I will be back posting much more frequently since tomorrow marks my going back to uni after taking a break to recover from burn out. I am feeling much better. I am not sure I am 100% recovered but I am determined to make this work while not overworking myself. The class I am starting tomorrow is exciting since it's a seminar with a professor I know and really like. As usual when my routine has to change I am feeling nervous and a bit anxious but I am doing my best to enjoy my last rest day and focus on things one step at the time.

📖: Nona The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir