Have you seen the new show? It's on Tubu. It's literally on Heebee. It's on Poodee with ads. It's literally on Dippy. You can probably find it on Weeno. Dude it's on Gumpy. It's a Pheebo original. It's on Poob. You can watch it on Poob. You can go to Poob and watch it. Log onto Poob right now. Go to Poob. Dive into Poob. You can Poob it. It's on Poob. Poob has it for you. Poob has it for you.
guy tries to toss a cigarette on the ground but the ground parries it and it flies back into his mouth and he solemnly continues to smoke it
still amazes me that by season 45 or whatever, Supernatural was being exclusively watched by delusionally hopeful women with flamingo-salinity tolerance for bad writing and the creators still couldn’t pander to them because maybe there was 1 straight guy out there still accidentally watching it
i’ll never get tired of seeing this quote
i think the reason why the assassination of Julius Caesar is one of the funniest political assassinations is for this very simple reason:
1 guy stabs 1 guy: not funny. that's murder.
2 guys stab 1 guy: even less funny. that's two against one.
60 guys stab 1 guy: uproariously funny. why do you need so many guys.
this is me everything someone leaves a nice comment on my art
[AS A DAGGER IS HELD TO MY THROAT] are we about to kiss rn. Lol
you cant fucking hurt me bitch im protected by the migratory bird act
Please, I just want to know what your migratory flight path is, I promise I’ll release you after I give you this bracelet that will insanely up your game with the ladies
bitches love me for my bright and colourful leg band
🥘 stillstainless following
full dishwasher kind of annoying actually. release me
🔲 tupperware follow
can we all agree that handwash onlys are attention seeking? you're using the same dish soap as the rest of us but you need a sponge bath because you're too good for a shower
🍳 cast-iron following
op some people will die if they're washed with soap at all. unlike certain plastic divas dishes that claim to be "top row only" like that makes a fucking difference.
🔲 tupperware follow
can you actually fuck off
🥣 countercandy mutuals
☕ mug-shots follow
i love being on the top row like you are NOTTT using me for coffee LMAOO
🐾 dogbowl follow
dusty ass
🍴silverwarewolf following
all tucked in. in my drawer. with my polycule <3
#and these takeout chopsticks too i guess #ok
🥡 lunchb0x follow
Excited for summer break 😃 Can't wait to see what kinds of mold i'll collect this year
#ForgottenAgain #BackpackGang #LockerGang
🔁cast-iron following
anonymous asked: Why are you whining about how other dishes like to be washed when you're literally covered in spaghetti stains
tupperware answered: what if i killed myself
🥤 papercup mutuals
WASP IN ME
if alphas in the omegaverse knew that we referred to it as the "omegaverse" and not the "alphaverse," they'd throw a fit
“Focus in the present” girl… everything is happening at the same time
dude your pussy just skittered away. like a insect
i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre
starting a foundation that gives disadvantaged children one wild ass night at the club
Why the fuck are you suggesting putting CHILDREN in a club?
So they can sip grey goose, maybe have a cig, and feel the rhythm? Are you the fun police?
Could never get a dick piercing. What if I get near a strong magnet and it rips my thang asunder
BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR
I MAKE A DIME
THATS WHY I MAKE MEADE
OUTTA THE COMPANY SLIME
BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR
I MAKE A DIME
THATS WHY I STEAL HONEY
TWO ATTA TIME
BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR
I MAKE A CENT
THATS WHY I TAKE HONEY PACKETS,
BOTTLE, AND FERMENT
BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR
I DONT MAKE JACK
EXCEPT FOR THE MEAD
#MEDIEVAL LIFE HACKS
due to inflation you must answer my riddles five
due to budget cuts i will grant you two wishes
due to recent layoffs there is only one of me and I lie 50% of the time