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That point in a piece of fanfiction where you can tell something embarrassing is about to happen so you start fucking around on tumblr because you’re a huge baby with a crippling overabudance of empathy.

I do this with every media I consume. I pause movies and have to walk around and prepare myself for second-hand embarrassment sometimes.

This is mE

Secondhand embarrassment. I’ve got it. 

I sometimes mute movies or tv shows to avoid it. Especially if I know it’s coming. 

I TOTALLY DO THIS.

Wedding Stories

Requested: Yes! By the lovely @lttleslytherin

Warnings: Minor spoilers for the game. And for the book?  Swearing. You have been warned. Slightly mature content.

Summary: Cursed Vault group at Bill and Fleur’s wedding. Female MC makes speech of how she’s glad Fleur’s not another Emily.

A/N: M here! Yes we have a crap ton of requests hold your horses we’re working jeez. Also, if you want your request to be swear free, put it in your request. BUT MINIMAL REQUESTS P L E A S E WE’RE DROWNING. Also, I haven’t written a speech before. Sorry if this isn’t very good.

I slipped on my F/C dress, pulling on some black heels and a bracelet I was heading to Bill’s wedding, he was getting married to this French girl, Fleur Delacour. I’ll admit, she’s a lot nicer than Emily Bitchface. I was doing a speech for him, presenting after Charlie. He was a fun guy. I grabbed the parchment my speech was written on, and apparated to the Burrow.

The place was crowded, so I sat down next to Rowan and Penny. Rowan was wearing a cream dress, Penny in a light yellow one. The entire Cursed Vaults gang was there, and I greeted them all cheerfully. All of us filled the second and third row, and I caught up with Tulip while I waited. 

Despite the ongoing war, I found myself enjoying the reception. The decorations were pretty, and the ceremony was decently fast (that’s how the Wizarding World did it. Short ceremony, long celebration), so pretty soon it was dinner. 

Charlie stepped up to the mic, and started speaking.

“Bill, I am going to make this short because I want to hear what Y/N wants to say, and more likely than not it’s going to be funny. Mum, don’t kill me. Treat her well, and seeing as I don’t want nieces or nephews yet, use protection!” The crowd laughed as Bill flushed. I stood up, and tapped the mic.

“Well hello everybody. Molly, please don’t kill me, I’d really like to live, thanks.  Anyway, I’ve known Bill since like second year, he’s a good friend. I didn’t expect him to get hitched, or even date. Oh, story time!” Bill stood up, trying to prevent you from speaking since he knew where you were going. I started speed walking away from him, and continued.

“So during  third year Bill had a crush, his crush was this girl named Emi- mmph!” Bill had caught up with me, and had put his hand over my mouth. One of the twins shouted from the back

“Oi, let her finish!” I managed to pry his hand off my mouth, and remarked

“Merlin, so rude. Anyway, his crush was this girl named Emily, she was the stereotypical pureblooded snob, no offense to anybody, and she thought the Weasley’s were below her. Fleur, if he ever mistreats you, owl me. I’ll knock some sense into him.” Bill managed to capture me again, and took the mic away. He chuckled nervously, and said

“Well, that’s all for that topic-” I cut him off, snatching the mic.

“Excuse me, I am not done. Sit. Down. And Bill, I actually like this one, she’s cool, blow it I am going to kill you. Or at least beat the shit out of you. I’m going to end this on a happier note, so may you have a happy marriage that lasts longer than Bill’s affection for Emily! To the new couple!” I raised my cup, the audience following my lead. Bill whispered in my ear

“I hate you.” I smirked

“You know you don’t. Besides, I could’ve made that a whole lot more embarrassing. Consider yourself lucky.” I patted his shoulder and walked off, sipping champagne. 

The rest of the speeches went by quickly, well except maybe Percy’s, and since I wanted cake, I shouted

“Mate, I don’t hate ya, but I want cake so hurry the hell up or I will make you.” He huffed, glared at me, but wrapped up his speech. 

********

Cake was served, and I made my way over to the rest of my friends.

“Heyyyy.” Rowan followed her dream, becoming the youngest professor in Hogwarts history. I asked Tonks and Penny

“So, how are you guys?” As I continued to chat, I found out that Charlie had indeed gotten his job with dragons, and Andre had gotten a job as a Quidditch commentator. The cake was being finished off, and I thought the wedding would go well. Until Kingsley’s patronus showed up… 

A/N: Oml I’m so sorry this took a while, I was busy. And yes, I will quote Shannon here-THIS IS SHORTER THAN MY HEIGHT IM SORRY

There’s a bug going round (though I have my doubts as to how much of a ‘bug’ it actually is) that prevents people from accessing their blogs if they go to the blogname.tumblr.com address. Any attempt to access blogs this way (ours, those of others or any kinds of links on the web that lead back to Tumblr posts) results in us being redirected to the main Dashboard page (tumblr.com/dashboard). The only way to access a blog, for those of us affected by this bug, is to go to the Dashboard pop-up view (tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/blognamehere). Of course, the Tumblr mobile app is wholly unaffected. Of course.

Here’s where it gets very fucking sketchy for me:

In light of GDPR (and Tumblr being singled out as one of the sites that made it as onerous as possible to opt-out of your data being shared with a ludicrous number of third-parties), I really wouldn’t be surprised if they’re trying to kick European users to the curb in this way / trying to force us to use the mobile app instead. Just the thought of having to pay for a VPN so I can keep this fucking site even remotely functional (remember – no Tumblr content link from the web is accessible anymore – if I click on a link that’s blogname.tumblr.com/post/postnumber, I’m always redirected to the first page of the dashboard) makes my blood boil.

Also, I’ve noticed the app doesn’t play nice with VPNs lately. It acts like it has no WiFi connection; meanwhile, everything else works fine.

31. July. 2018

i’m already in love. my god

WHEN YOU SEE 

takashi, how important am i to you?

a really messy quick adashi because i haven’t posted in ages and i want them to have a reunion

more 31 days of harry, this week was for the baddies

commissions | twitter | tictail

MCU asks | @wombtotombs asked: favourite character characters → the magic trio: loki laufeyson, wanda maximoff and stephen strange.

“Some stuff you leave there, other stuff you bring back. It’s our job to figure out how to carry it. Is it gonna be in a big suitcase or in a little man-purse?

I t ’ s   u p   t o   y o u . ”

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