the weight of living

hey everyone !! so i saw those messages on the main earlier today after work and i have to admit they made me pretty sad but also i can’t really blame them. i know i’ve been slacking on my part here and i deeply apologize for that. for the next few days, until the 31st, i’ll try to get on the main whenever i can, answering questions, and also just to keep up muse n stuff i’ll be doing some mini threads. i have all my current threads drafted and i’ll still try to work on some that i have the most muse for but it’ll probably be put off until i get back from my hiatus. anyways ! like this and i’ll try to write up a little gif chat/mini para starter for you, from yours truly !! and as always if you wanna plot, talk about headcanons, or plain ol’ chat just talk to me on discord @ chuckiesullivan #8644 !

i am so so sorry for being really mia lately i underestimated how busy i would be this week, prepping for my trip n stuff. unfortunately i'm gonna have 2 request an early n pretty long hiatus cause ill be working all weekend, then ill be leaving immediately like wednesday i think? and i wont get back til the 4th which is the day right before school starts :// but ill still be around lurking n stuff, ill try to do my replies when i have the time to spare !! if u just wanna chat just im me or ill give ya my discord :~))

        sitting on the steps of the bishop home’s porch, a single notebook and pen kept her company. the piece of paper was filled with doodles, song lyrics, and tattoo ideas. she’d been thinking about inking her skin for YEARS now but the muse to get one image in particular hadn’t struck her. she tapped her pen against the lined paper and SIGHED dramatically. ❝ ugh, i know tattoos don’t have to MEAN something but i’m not getting something dumb as fuck tattooed on me. ❞   she complained the person beside her only relying on HOPE that they were listening.  ❝ maybe i’ll get pepe the frog. he never lets me down. ❞

Levi stood by his boss. watching the man shout out such vulgar accusations about Gord. He was used to it. It was a part of his job, and not everyone likes a politician, so it always made him realise how important he was to his friend’s career. He tensed his body. Stepping closer to the mayor. Ushering him to walk away from the situation. until he heard one more nasty spatter. he stepped back, moving to push the man away until he suddenly felt a fist impact his jaw. the lower half of his face knocking slightly. his imediate reaction was to turn and throw a fist back until he was who had thrown the first punch. his angered expression dropping suddenly when he saw Gabriel’s apologetic expression. ‘’Fuck man!’’ he exclaimed. finding himself smirking a little with his own hand caressing his throbbing jaw. ‘’yeah- fine, it’s cool, boss. i’ve had way worse. no offense. the impact was there but you’re swing felt a little weak.’’ he teased, trying to make light of the situation.

despite his playful comment, guilt still flooded gabriel’s body. he tilted his head to try and take a look at the man’s jaw - no bruise had formed but that’s not to say that it wouldn’t. thankfully, given levi’s occupation, it wouldn’t raise too many eyebrows if it had. “swing weak or not, maybe we should get some ice on that - there might be some in the offices inside or we could check one of the establishments down the street, like a cafe or something.. ” gabriel was babbling now, muttering the words more to himself rather than the man before him. “i’m really sorry, levi,” he sighed, annoyance with himself rising. “i shouldn’t have even tried to do that in the first place,” a frown on his lips he shook his head lightly at himself.

 IT  WAS  AN  UNEVENTFUL  NIGHT  for  judith  and  she  was  quite  pleased  because  of  it.  spending  a  little  extra  time  at  the  station  she  SNEAKED  away  to  her  home  later  than  she  expected  too.  she  didn’t  mind,  however  her  body  ached  to  REUNITE  with  her  bed  and  maybe  earn  a  well-rested  sleep  to  prepare  for  the  following  day.  as  unusual  as  it  was  for  someone  like  jude  to  fall  into  a  ROUTINE  it  proved  to  be  good  for  her.  the  normalcy  she  adapted  to  helped  her  earn  control  over  her  ptsd  as  well  as  CLEANSE  her  descent  into  alcoholism.  trading  in  a  glass  of  wine  for  a  glass  of  water  before  bed  she  petted  the  behind  the  ears  of  a  STRAY  cat  she  found  on  her  way  home.  prepared  to  retire  for  the  night  she  walked  to  her  room  with  a  glass  of  water  in  her  hand.  the  ring   of  her  phone  almost  CAUSED  her  to  drop  it.  she  didn’t  expect  anyone  to  call  her  so  late  and  she  knew  it’d  only  be  TROUBLE  if  she  answered.  however,  her  instinct  almost  forced  her  pick  up  the  phone.  when  she  realized  it  was  gabe  calling,  she  could  only  blame  it  on  FATE.  she  could  barely  understand  him  as  he  spoke  but  she  was  more  than  willing  to  keep  her  door  open  for  him  —  that’s  what  friends  did,  right  ??  she  waited  patiently  for  him  to  ARRIVE  now  regretting  that  she  didn’t  OFFER  to  pick  him  up  instead.  the  knock  on  the  door  startled  her  but  she  was  quick  to  open  it  —  already  knowing  who  was  behind  it.  she  looked  at  gabriel  and  it  was  EVERYTHING  she  wished  it  wouldn’t  be.  a  small  sigh  left  her  lips  as  her  brows  knitted  together.  they  stood  in  silence  and  jude  was  afraid  to  break  it.  she  could  only  watch  as  he  greeted  her  already  KNOWING  he  was  lying  when  he  tried  to  convince  her  that  he  was  fine.  ❝  gabe  !!    ❞  she  shouted  as  he  fell  into  her  arms.  she  watched  as  he  eased  into  her  touch  so  easily.  her  fingers  tangled  into  his  dark  brunette  locks;  she  helped  him  GAIN  strength  on  his  feet  as  he  spoke.  she  responded  with  small  ‘hm’s’  —  more  concerned  about  his  INJURES  than  his  wit.  she  sat  him  down  on  the  couch  and  fell  to  her  knees  in  front  of  him.  she  brushed  tears  away  from  his  cheeks  with  the  edge  of  her  thumb.  almost  instinctively  she  kissed  his  cheek,  his  forehead,  his  chin,  and  the  tip  of  his  nose.  it  felt  INTRUSIVE  but  it  felt  —-  right.  she  took  his  hands  into  hers.  and  pressed  her  lips  against  the  bruised  knuckles.    ❝  of  course  i  remember,  i  remember  every  boy  you  tried  to  scare  off.  ❞    she  wanted  to  laugh  but  it  was  interrupted  by  his  next  set  of  words.   ❝  of  course  it  was  you’re  favorite  night  —  grape.  ❞   she  smiled  weakly  at  him.  before  letting  go  of  his  hand  and  standing  on  her  feet.  she  winced  at  his  injuries  —  funny  how  she  could  look  at  herself  in  the  MIRROR  all  beaten  and  bruised  but  felt  HURT  when  he  was  the  one  injured.  jude  worked  quickly  to  retrieve  the  first  aid  kit  in  her  kitchen.  she  returned  to  him  on  her  knees  and  opened  the  kit.  noticing  specks  of  blood  on  the  collar  of  his  shirt  she  sighed,   ❝  you’re  gonna  have  to  take  of  your  shirt.  ❞  it  sounded  like  more  of  a  demand  than  a  suggestion.   ❝  i’ll  put  in  the  wash  while  i  patch  you  up .  do  you  want  anything  —  a  cup  of  hot  chocolate  ??   ❞    

even with his disoriented state, gabriel still found himself FULLY aware of jude’s touch. it felt like it was all he could focus on, her small hands dragging him by the arm, and her fingers, soft on his face as she wiped away at his tears. almost like a lighthouse in his currently foggy mind. it was comforting — grounding. eyes closed, having given into his body’s protests only moments ago, gabe let out a faint exhale as he suddenly felt the light brush of her LIPS, starting on his cheeks and then more small pecks everywhere on his face. he certainly didn’t expect that, but he let himself savour and enjoy the moment. it sent shivers down his spine and a stupid fluttering warmth in his stomach. breathing in the familiar scent of her and her shampoo, gabriel’s lids slowly rose into a half-open state and his eyes roamed her features. not looking for anything in PARTICULAR, just looking — admiring. “ none of them deserved you, ” he whispered, lips parting only slightly and his voice croaky as if he hadn’t spoken in YEARS. in gabe’s eyes, no one would ever be good enough for judith, HIS judith. not even close. okay, maybe steve came close but he had.. complicated feelings about that one. mostly conflicting ones between ENVY and guilt , but he could barely even admit that to himself. just thinking about it gave him a headache and he was already dealing with at least three at the moment so stubbornly, gabe IGNORED those thoughts, hiding them away until the time came to appropriately face them. instead, he focused on allowing a small SMILE to cross his face as jude mentioned his childhood nickname. a nickname that was only ever used by her because she was the only one he ever let get away with it. something all of his friends, mostly jeremy, pointed out many times. why had he been so naive with denial ? anyone else he heard refer to him as GRAPE would’ve been met with a steely, warning glare, something he had managed to perfect at the age of thirteen, thanks to his father. head leaned back against the couch and eyes once again closed, gabriel hummed distractedly in response to her words, the demand BARELY registering in his thoughts. but fingers trailed down to the edge of where his shirt tucked into his pants anyways, feeble tugs eventually pulling his stained dress shirt FREE. “ only if you promise to make it the same way aunt vanessa does, ” gabriel murmured with an almost PLAYFUL smile as he slipped off his already loosened neck-tie. he fumbled for a moment with his buttons ( this was usually easier in the daytime ) and a soft, frustrated huff flew past his lips as he was met with the same struggle on the second button.