reblog to give a strawberry to the person you reblogged this from

now this is some wizardry shit

*knocks head against desk*

I *knock* keep *knock* forgetting *knock* that *knock* Darklight Tower *knock* has *knock* a *knock* quest. Goddammit.

I REMEMBERED!!!!!!!!!

Honestly I should talk about the ace experience more. I don’t see enough. Like–obviously it’s dehumanizing to be repeatedly compared to robots or aliens but uh…sometimes it feels like that?? 

My husband will get all horny while I’m, I don’t know, changing out of sweaty gardening clothes. And I’ll be like, “But we have to make lunch?? I stink? Now is not a good time?? Logic?” And clearly it’s not about logic to him. He is experiencing the entire scenario very differently. And I’m here like, 

Or the times where you realize that like, having an actual physiological reaction to attractive people is not some enculturated metaphor, and people are actually doing that all around you all the time, and you’re like, Ah, clearly my studies of human culture have been incomplete. I have missed a critical psychosocial component. Many things now appear in a different light. *takes notes on holopad*

The notes on this post are just a shitload of aces going…I don’t get it. Or sometimes for a bit under very special circumstances I get it, or almost get it, and then I’m like “Wow this is a huge energy drain; you guys live like this?” Or just, “Totally baffling truly an alien species why would you lick someone?” And I am feeling the kinship in this here post.

so i'm in this backyard chickens group on reddit and someone just discovered their hen is transitioning and everyone is stoked

anyway in case you didn't know chickens will sometimes spontaneously f2m and it's pretty cool

these absolutely cannot stay in the tags

Sleepy Eepy Mareepy

It occurs to me that there are people who weren’t on this website in 2012 and therefore never saw the magical gif that you can actually hear:

It’s been over five years and that still impresses the hell out of me.

wdym you can hear it?

Basically, it’s a form of synesthesia, movement-hearing. In this case, you expect to hear a thud, so you do. It’s estimated that 20% of people experience this type of synesthesia, as opposed to 2-4% for other kinds.

YO what the FUXK

The longer you watch it the more you get convinced that you can hear a  distant thud and the air displace.

I heard the thud. I closed my eyes and the thud stopped. I opened my eyes and I heard the thud. My goodness but human brains are a mess.

This was easily the first ever viral post on Tumblr back in 2011/12. Perhaps even before the great “what your leg feels like after falling asleep” followed by a picture of a static teevee channel.

if any body else ever learns how to edit a PDF or use excel im out of a job. that is the only thing i do here. then again, given the likelyhood that someone will actually figure out how to edit a PDF, im pretty sure im set for life.

now if you'll excuse me, im off to go explain the concept of an external harddrive. again.

on the one hand, information security is tight as hell. Chances of a data breach are near zero.

On the other hand, its because he keeps everything in a notebook. He runs his entire company out of a spiral bound notebook. and his phone.

Have moment of silence for me. Imagine what doing taxes in this mess is like.

he built his own procurement and logistics company after getting laid off during covid. i drew him a logo. His entire business model is just 'What if we shipped things straight to an Alaskan port rather than Seattle then trucking it through Canada? seems cheaper'. that's it. that's all the thinking that went into this. he's got connections in the industry all over the state as well as overseas, because Pre-covid-layoff this was more or less his day job and he kinda just showed up and said 'hey, I'm bored of early retirement. let's try it'

this is a business that fits in a notebook. last year grossed 7 figures.

This is his retirement hobby along with spoiling his toddler grandchild. Hes unavailable for meetings because he's constantly running off to go do retired old man shit.

Meanwhile, various business partners are just floored by his revolutionary new strategies. He's shaking up the industry, hes a game changer for the entire region. And everybody is aware that he's technically all ready retired. And that his company is a one man show. (I feel I should emphasize that this whole scheme consists of "What if we didn't ship the stuff 2000 miles in the wrong direction?")

So the question of long term planning is literally driving people insane. Does he have a five year plan? No. He did his planning for the future, he's already drawing a pension. He main concern is getting his granddaughter to call him something other than Gwawa and weasleing out of changing her diapers. There are international companies that must bow to the whims of a toddler. Mining and drilling claims with 99 year leases that find themselves hoping that this man doesn't pick up any more hobbies.

And then there is me. Who shows up maybe twice a month to make the magic computer box go brrr and coo at the grandchild.

Hey. Wait. Quick clarification. This is 1000% a nepotism situation. I am not doing this because he hired me to do so. He is my father-in-law and the things he needs help with are things I can half-ass with one hand while making small talk. The grandkid is my niece. For my own sanity, I can not be having this conversation.

little strawberry thief

Posting faggot and queer like 2am gunshots to keep property values on my blog low and scare away assimilationist LGBTs who want to replace my empty lot full of native wildflowers with a 5-over-1 because they're too traumatized by their upbringing to accept the reality of our diverse marginalized community

The dykes and trannies in the notes have informed me they would like to be included in this commentary on the homogenizing forces of gentrification within the queer community as represented by language discourse around "slur" reclamation

For Scum Villain fandom specifically I have to say that the deciding factor in whether I adopt a headcanon or not is whether I think it's funny.

Do I think Shen Yuan was ill in his first life? Yes, because I think it's extremely funny if he was ill in his first life, got a brand new life with superpowers (cultivation) and boosted health, and then immediately got slapped with another fucking chronic illness (Without-A-Cure.) I think that is the funniest sequence of events and thus the correct one.

Do I think that Shen Yuan was on the very low end of his twenties, barely college-age, when he transmigrated? Yes, because I think it's hilarious if the rest of the Peak Lords have unknowingly been "shixiong"ing a fuckin sophmore

And lastly, do I think that Shen Jiu never went to the brothels for sex and ultimately died a virgin? Yes, because that sets the stage for SY!SQQ to later trip over some kind of virginity-detecting critter or plant (you KNOW the PIDW setting has to have these somewhere, c'mon), not even knowing that it's something he has to think about avoiding, and whoops getting outed as a virgin in front of the entire cultivation world, and that would be hilarious

#Yes! You understand!#The best scum villain headcanons are 10% meta 20% irony 70% THE BIT - by @livingmeatloaf

...wait a minute...

YOU!

idk if Tumblr will keep the boops going after today, but through the power of discord emoji, you can boop your friends in a server. or idk, paste them in someone's askbox.

I made a calico one out of these if anyone wants it