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Kitty Unpretty

@unpretty / unpretty.tumblr.com

💙 30-something 💙 She/Her 💙 Queer 💙 Latina 💙 Polyamorous 💙 Certified Dick Wizard 💙 Shit For Brains 💙 This used to be unpretty.space but Matt Mullenweg killed it. I'm a huge bitch and I'm dumb as hell. I reblog every damn thing and write about weird monster dicks. I will not apologize to Alton Brown. Posts by me are #original. Some people seem to like #fanfic and #ficblogging. I've also got #greatest hits. Other than that, my tags are fucking useless. If you need things tagged, you're better off following me through kittyunpretty.com or unpretty@ao3.
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A half-feral hero, a monster king, a bastard prince, and an open world. Bound by destiny, they save or slay one another, an endless cycle of death and rebirth. When the Moonlight Monster rises, the Starlight Hero is Astielle’s only hope. Unfortunately, she’s a little busy with her rock collection.

☽✷☀

Astielle is a free webnovel about the Starlight Hero (Minnow), her nemesis the Moonlight Monster (King Karzarul), and his nemesis the Sunlight Heir (Prince Leonas). It is an endless reincarnation cycle enemies-to-lovers speedrun and slow burn about trying to avoid the main quest by doing every possible sidequest instead. It's about trying to get your friend away from his shitty family and into your polycule instead. It is over 200k words, and almost 40k of them are a flashback to completely different characters thousands of years before the main story. A lot of readers tell me it is very funny, or that it made them cry. It was supposed to be PWP. It is a hot fucking mess in progress.

"You shouldn't let her eat rocks," Ari said.
"If she wants to eat a rock," Leonas said, "there is nothing on this or any other plane of existence that I can do to stop her from eating the fucking rock."
"I spit it back out," Minnow said. She was regretting ever telling him about the rock. "Can we move on, please? I would like to move on."

Astielle features:

Farming | Fishing | Cooking | Fast-travel | Monster-fucking | Murder | Extremely round pigs | Extremely small chickens | A mystery-solving teen | Traveling bards | Gratuitous face-fucking | The homeowner's association | Magical dreams | Zombies | Nihilism as a coping mechanism for undiagnosed depression | Politics | Using a sword as an all-purpose adventuring tool | Tax evasion | At least one monster gangbang | Spider's Gorge | Pirates | Unreliable narrators | Incorrect historical records | The looming specter of religious nationalism | Churros

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Source: kittyunpretty.com
#original#fiction#fantasy#astielle#astielleblogging
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Reblogged re-dracula
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i was so sad, i drew a little bat so i wouldn’t be sad. and now i am no longer sad.

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generalgrievousdatingsim

here is a little bat to banish your sadness

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This nice little bat reminds me of this other nice little bat who was drawn in the 1200s:

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trekmemes
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This is the only website where I routinely see people say things like “oh this reminds me of something I recently saw from the 1200s”

#reblog#queue continuum
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Reblogged
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Whoever wrote that Vanguard message did so with shaking hands, between sobs & swigs of bourbon straight from the bottle.

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They're right, though. Now is exactly the wrong time to make dramatic investment moves. Everybody's shit is doing the same thing; unless you need your retirement money in the next twelve months or whatever, you're better off leaving it alone and waiting for the eventual correction. Like, this is not a comforting lie, this is good advice!

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Adultier adult here, having had to talk to my retirement management people earlier this week. (I hate it. It's useless. But I told them to divest me from anything that holds TSLA in the portfolio/fund because Elon is an asshole and the company's financials are shit.)

This week has caused about three percent (3%) of my 401(k) to vanish.

And that's okay.

I can't touch that money without a tax penalty (or emergency) until the 2030's. It's not paying for cat food or keeping my electricity on. This is a privilege not everyone enjoys (yet).

If you're in a position to have any kind of investments, don't do anything rash and/or bananas with important chunks of money. (My financial guy gave me this advice, too. I specifically asked about cashing out the whole fucking thing.)

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TUMBLR'S AGING USERBASE

#yeah idk how many tumblr users this is even relevant to tbh#but panicking and taking all your money out is just. selling low. after buying high. don't do it.#reblog
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Reblogged shinesurge
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UM GUYS. I JUST NOTICED A CRAZY ISSUE W THE TUMBLR UPDATE.

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YOU CAN SEE THE ICONS OF ANONS SOMETIMES.

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The way I was able to recognize several anons in one of my inboxes bc of this error. Oh my god. Guys. This isn’t supposed to happen.

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Weighing in to say:

YES, I SEE THIS ON MOBILE. HOWEVER I DO **NOT** THINK IT'S SHOWING THE ANON'S REAL IDENTITY.

The profile pictures I see next to anon asks are profile pictures that belong to other, non-anon asks in my ask box also. Some info

  • there are 14 asks in my inbox from the last ~5 days
  • 9 anons, 5 logged in users
  • ALL 14 show pfps, including the 9 anons
  • ALL THE SHOWN PROFILE PICTURES BELONG TO THE 5 LOGGED IN USERS

I think the bug is the inbox INCORRECTLY attributing anons to neighboring, logged-in asks.

Which is still a bad bug! Considering it makes it look like a long-time follower of mine sent me a spam ask.

And is worse if, say, one of these was anon hate.

But it's NOT the anon's real identity. It's a neighboring ask asker's identity

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So if you have anon hate in your inbox that looks like it's attributed to your dear friend, who sends you lovely asks all the time, it was Not them.

#reblog#yeah it's also doing a fun thing in firefox for android#where it won't let me see the fucking tags while i type now#they're hidden under the keyboard#i have to do this shit blind
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Reblogged roach-works
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you've all gotta stop acting like "overweight" is a gentle PC alternative for the word fat and not itself an assertion of the ontological wrongness of being large. Over What Weight Precisely

#reblog
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