"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law." - Romans 13:8

The rain twinkles against your windows creating a soft tinkling sound as your eyes flutter open. You are beyond exhausted. The only thing that is running through your mind is more sleep as you see the rain trickling down along the window pane.

You feel at peace and then, suddenly, regret— consciously beating yourself up for staying up so late. You could barely keep your eyes open, your body so tired and your mind begging for sleep. Eyelids get heavier, breathing gets steadier, and just as you were about to fall back to a deep sleep— your mother comes rushing into your room and starts rummaging through your closet. A surge of annoyance runs through you. You slung the pillow over your head to drown her ever perpetual nagging voice. To your dismay, she pinches you on your rear which immediately makes you sit up.

“Ouch, why would you do that?!”

Your mother rolls her eyes and sucks in her teeth in immediate irritation. “Girl, It didn’t hurt that bad. Stop being so dramatic and get up. get your outfit ready. We’re going to a church event.”

“Can I just stay home?”

“No,” she said with a pointed look.

You look at your mother as if to say ‘Are you serious?’. You begrudgingly get up from your bed, crossing your arms. You want to stay home, as being in a community-wide event is the last thing you want to do. Your mother quickly notices your attitude, and she gives you a hard look.

"Don't give me an attitude, Y/N. We are going to this event and that's final. Aaron has worked very hard planning this event. You will be polite and you will enjoy every minute of it." She did not tolerate your sassiness and attitude, and she wanted you to be on your best behavior for this event. What she didn't know, however, was that your heart started to beat very quickly whenever she thought of Aaron, your crush.

You'll definitely be on your best behavior, alright.

You formed a crush on him in your senior year of highschool. You never pay attention to your father’s friends at all—until he caught your eye that day at the pool party. Your father had pulled a prank on him by pushing him onto the pool and Aaron came out agitated in the kind of playful way that attracted you. It was an awakening, to see his white tee shirt, now wet, imprinted onto his abs. You've never noticed how good looking he was until then.

As the weather starts to clear up, it doesn't take long to get ready and you make sure everything is well packed in your purse. Your phone was charged and your airpods were charged for the whole car ride. You can hear your father yelling at you to hurry up as you take one more look before heading out of your room.

The car ride wasn’t exactly in silence, the radio was blasting with Christian gospel music which wasn't exactly the mood you wanted to listen to and for that exact reason, you spend a few minutes into the ride listening to secular music on your own the way there to church. Looking out the windows, the colorful leaves on the trees change shades and you glance at your parents holding hands, smiling at each other.

‘I wish someone would look at me like that the way Dad stares at Mom,’ You think to yourself, wistfully.

The ride has reached its destination; a large building with the bolded words 'OUR LADY OF THE ANGELS CHURCH' carved on the side. You and your mother get out as your father drives away, grumbling about the parking lot being full.

Your mother pulls you to the side in a hushed tone, “Now, that we are here. Please— please, I am begging you to be on your best behavior. Talk to your friends from highschool. Participate. Don’t ruin this for your father.”

You were only grumpy in the mornings. One attitude is not the end of the world.

Her eyes were pleading. This must have been on your mother’s mind for a while, and you roll your eyes, nodding afterwards. She could be dramatic when she wanted to. She let out a sigh of relief and with that, both of you went on your separate ways, with her leaving you to explore and look at different vendors.

As you walk around, scrolling mindlessly on your phone, you accidentally bump into someone. You were about to apologize before you realize it's a familiar face instead of the expected stranger. “Y/N?!” It was a friend and the pastor’s daughter you knew from highschool, one you hadn't seen for two years. “Oh my goodness, it’s been a while!"

Your eyes widen, and you quickly take off your airpods to put it back into the case before engulfing your long-time friend into a bear hug.

“Lisa! I thought you were in Paris?!” You exclaim in both bewilderment and confusion. She pulls back to take a good look at you, her cheeks red from grinning so hard. “Seeee— I was…for, like, two weeks.. after we graduated but then I got bored and went to Spain instead.”

You and Lisa were walking arm to arm now as she continued talking about her experiences in both France and Spain. “And the men over there? Whew. Amazing.” Lisa cheeks redden and she raises a hand to fan herself, earning a laugh from you.

“So, what about you? Anything delicious happening in your life?”

You were embarrassed yet impressed with how she talks about her sex life so brashly and confidently in front of all the elders that were side-eying her as you walked. She didn't care. You’d like to be more like her.

“No—", you begin, earning an immediate groan from Lisa. “But–but! I made new friends at college and we've been hanging out at cafes and museums," you finish proudly. Lisa, however, gives you a stare in return and you couldn’t tell if she was looking at you with pity or with judgment. You also couldn't tell which one was worse.

“No clubs?”

“Oh no..I’ve never been to a club. I still live with my parents, you know? Strict routine of classes, hanging out with friends, and then bible study.” Lisa nodded at you slowly, understanding the situation you’re in.

“Rightttt. While you’re in your twenties. Live a little, maybe?” You roll your eyes at her sarcastic comments, strolling along the grass.

You look around curiously to see where Aaron is. As much as you love Lisa, you do want to see him badly. He was the very thing you even came for, anyway. You steal a quick glance at him, noting how he stands so tall and how his hands stay on his hips, blue eyes monitoring the children to make sure they play safely. He looks so good— too good, and seeing his forehead glistening with sweat makes you want to walk up to him with a towel in hand, offering to wipe away all his hard work for him.

“How about this— look over to your right,” she suddenly commands, her voice interrupting your little stalker moment. You quickly turned your head to what she was talking about, shoulders dropping when you see people jumping around in potato sacks and competing in what looked like some sort of race.

“Look, if we do this and let’s say it we compete with each other and I win..you have to go clubbing with me,” Lisa sets the ultimatum, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

You were about to interrupt her with an ultimatum of your own before she went ahead, as if sensing you were about to protest.

“You’re usually good at this game so it's a fair chance to lose.” she shrugs.

“Lisa..No?” you start, nervously laughing at her idiotic idea. You're about to walk off until she pulls you back with her arms. “Hear me out. You don’t have to do anything crazy but dance to the music.” You both stare at each other for a minute, letting her words marinate before you nod at her in eventual agreement.

“...Fine. But I don't have any club-worthy clothes.” You say, emphasizing your complaints with fingers air quoting the words. Lisa waved her hands and scoffed. “Don’t worry about that, I'll help you!”

Lisa pulls you to the line without warning, gripping onto your arms tightly so you can't let go. Her eyes gleam with excitement and you both finalize the bet to participate in the sack race and if she wins, you’ll have to go clubbing with her. The sack game was familiar— you both always did it every year at church camp. The idea of clubbing doesn’t sound like something you’ll ever want to do but it could sound fun. You've never done a 'bad thing' in your life before. It's always been school, church, and whatever school activities provided after school.

You were the quintessential good girl.

The line is approaching too rapidly for your liking. A part of you wants to quit it before it eventually gets to you but the other side of you is competitive as well. “Just so you know, Lisa. l’m definitely kicking your butt." Lisa scoffs at both your new found confidence and your childish habit of not cursing just yet. “Okay, when I win, I’m definitely making you take a shot!” The two girls stare at each other with a playfully competitive look before breaking out laughing in unison.

The crowd lets out a surprised scream as Team Blue wins against Team Orange. It was now your turn to be part of the team. Lisa teamed up with orange and you went to the other side, tying up the blue ribbon on your arm. You quickly got into the sack, wasting no time. You were now in a competitive mood, although there was something — or rather, someone— who was threatening to distract you altogether. 

Aaron was there with his whistle between his lips, and oh— he looks so good in those basketball shorts! His eyes, so blue and— You shake your head, beckoning your mind to stop being so desperate and to actually think about the game. The loud screeching of the whistle breaks you out of your thoughts as you realize the game has started. You sprint in the sack, determined. You were so competitive and determined to win this no matter what it took.

But was God with you at this very moment? No. Of course not. Because you miscalculated your hops and fell forward to the ground, hard. Hot tears form your eyes as you heard loud gasps and poorly disguised murmurs from the crowd. not only because it is painful but because you had embarrassed yourself in front of the crowd and Mr. Johnson! you wished the world would swallow you in whole. Aaron rushed to your side and picked you up in a bridal style.

“shh, darling’ s’okay.” you buried your face against Aaron’s neck out of shame to hide your tears. He signaled the guys to open the church doors so he can lead you in and place you carefully on the pew.

He went ahead and grabbed the first aid and crouched to your level. you watch him soak the gauze pad with solution which makes you whimper in fear. He notices your hesitation. “It's okay, sweetheart. s’ gonna hurt just for a little bit.” he was thankful that you wore a skirt. that pretty, light pink now, soiled, looks amazing against your complexion.

He strokes your thighs to comfort you. As Aaron tends to your wounds with care, you feel a mix of emotions. The pain from the cleaning solution stings, but his gentle touch on your thighs sends a shiver down your spine. You try to ignore the fluttery feeling in your stomach, but it only intensifies as he continues to stroke your skin.

‘What is this feeling?’ You wondered, it’s that same feeling you felt at the pool party.

‘You’re so soft,’ Aaron wanted to say this so badly. It would be inappropriate under the house of God

He lightly stroke the wound earning a hiss of pain from y/n. “You are doing so well for me, love.” Aaron puts aside his lust for a minute to encourage you to overcome your pain. You can't help but notice how close he is to you, crouching down and being so attentive to your needs. His concern and care make you feel vulnerable yet comforted at the same time. The way he looks at you, the way he touches you, it's different from how anyone else has ever treated you. He sits next to you, dangerously close, and tilts your head up to tend to a bruise on your chin. Your heart races as you catch a glimpse of his focused expression—his ocean-like eyes. You find it hard to speak, feeling tongue-tied in his presence.

you gulped nervously, fiddling with your fingers with the tissue around your finger until it turns white. you steal a glance at his face. Your heart is going badoom-badoom.

“How is the pain?” You weakly nod, unable to speak to find your voice. His caress on your cheeks sends sparks through your body. “It hurts, still— but I'll be okay.” you stammer out a response. He pulls you into a hug. In his embrace, you feel safe and cared for, You never want to let him go.

The intimacy between the two of you is palpable, and you both seem unaware of how uneven your breathing has become. You sit in silence, cuddled up to Aaron's side as he continues to stroke your inner thigh to soothe the pain. His touch sends tingles down your spine, and you find yourself leaning into him, craving his comfort.

Aaron's face is close to yours, and you can feel the warmth of his breath on your cheek. Your heart races as you catch a glimpse of his focused expression, and you're drawn to him in a way you can't fully comprehend. The way he touches you makes you feel alive, and you're caught in a moment of blissful vulnerability.

Drunk in his touch, you move even closer to his touch, you suck in your teeth when you were interrupted as people were coming into the church. disappointed by the cockblock, you reluctantly break his embrace, a pout forming is evident in your face. It was the only connection you had from Aaron, you never wanted to let go. You hide your disappointment with a frown.

Aaron cussed to himself to let go of her thighs—reluctantly. He was almost there. Annoyance spread through his body. He stood up, feigning a fake smile to her parents.

Your parents and Lisa find you in the pew with your head down. Your mother gushes over how messy your clothes are, rather than asking how you are, which is the norm between you two. You tune out her voice as you stare out the stained glass windows.

“I heard what happened to Y/N. She can be clumsy sometimes” Your father chuckles.

Aaron joins in, shrugging at the bare minimum. “No Worries, (Y/F/N). She's like a niece to me. we’re family after all.”

Niece? Family?

That brought you back to reality. He’s married. He's loyal to her. you’re just family to him. It was like someone hired an assassin to shoot your heart down.

Lisa interrupted your train of thoughts and sat next to you to whisper in your ear, “you know you lost right?” you are giving her a pinch and a look that mentally cusses her out.

As you head home, you can't help but replay the events of the day in your mind. The way Aaron had cared for you and touched you had stirred up emotions you hadn't felt before. But deep down, you can't deny the attraction you feel towards the blue eyed man, and it leaves you with a sense of sadness but the lingering ache in your heart. Aaron’s touch will forever remain etched in your mind, a bittersweet reminder of a connection that it will never happen or so you think.

This is so fucked, but I love to cry.

I adore the sensation, that sharp pain in my gut,

It almost turns pleasurable for me.

So much so, I turn to sex to feel that.

Hurt me—see how pretty my eyes look,

Full with tears, all for you.

Soothe me with your lips, caress me with your hands.

Make my brain go numb, I can’t think for myself.

Please, hurt me prettily, and see how docile I can be for you.

I want to be your doll, lying still,

Letting you release your frustration on me.

See how far I am willing to go.

i’m sorry with the delays with chapter four 🥲 i’m used to close friends liking my stories and now that i post my work out there for you guys to see it makes me overwhelmed and somehow motivated but yet scared ig? i don’t want you guys to feel unsatisfied so i want to make sure it is the best thing you’ve ever read 🫶🏽

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Mafia Boss and Mortician!Lloyd Hansen x Black!reader

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mentions of death, age difference—(reader is 20 years old and Lloyd is in his 40s), might be dubcon, dark!manipulative!Lloyd, sadistic!reader, heavily descriptive on torture, 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Lloyd Hansen wields such power and influence that his household name is synonymous with fear and death, as he walks amongst the living. His presence commands respect and obedience as a Mortician who plays the Judge, Jury, and the Executioner in the criminal underworld. Despite his fearsome reputation, he is a man who craves someone who sees the beauty in death and reader will be just that.

𝐀/𝐍: This story has been on my noggin for a while and i need to get this out for next month so you might see the first chapter pretty soon! if anyone is interested in reading this story please let me know by commenting and reblogging this will boost my motivation to get Holiest of Sins out and start other requested projects soon!

chapter four is in progress! i believe this is when the real smut might happen so hehehehehehehehehe 🦅😈 later on tonight i will post a story summary i’ve been working on so please give it a reblog or comment if you want me to write it to read 💕💕