tuck me in, let me die

my roommates thoughts on All for the Game

new look

Neil for you🦊

Thoughts and musings!

my final designs for both Jeremy and Jean!

(still not finished reading, i'm about 65% through!)

Seeing neil from an outside pov actually 100% makes it clear why andrew was as intrigued as he was. Because we as readers could see how stressed neil was 24/7 but seeing him from jean’s perspective really helps to see how absolutely off the rails he seems if you don’t have the insider understanding of his character

they are perfectly normal

“He needed to know what Nathaniel was saying in this historic moment.”

Meanwhile Neil

I can't wait for Jean to tell Kevin "have a winning day" before smacking the ball out of his net and sending it to Jeremy.

Can you imagine the violence???

I really want Jean to have a moment where he truly gets over his complicated feelings for Kevin. To accept that things were fucked because there was no other option. That Kevin still cares deeply for him even if he doesn't see Jean that way.

I also want Jean to text Kevin "Had sex with your crush. Die mad about it" and not elaborate.

obsessed with jean’s colorful insults/descriptions so here’s a compiled list of them in order

ok that’s all. unless i missed some. and if i did you have to add them it’s just law

Neil “I don’t swing” Josten passing the torch to Jean “the cruelty of these nonstop temptations” Moreau

get his ass

wymack: kevin have you talked to my french son today?

kevin: do not ever call him your son. ever again. but yes. he tried nutella for the first time. and hated it </3

Kevin: I want to study history. Oh, and I want that blond goalkeeper

Riko:

Lmaooo he didn't think it through @tisaqslur

before tsc came out I was all for the idea that the Trojans would care so much about jean they'd break their good guy streak and get a red card defending him, but after having read it I don't think that's the message Nora is heading toward.

all through the sunshine court jean is coming to terms with the Trojan's kindness and empathy. many times he's had conversations about the raven's play style and how toxic and unnecessarily violent it is. jean thinks it's normal and the way the game should be played, he says exactly that to them a lot, but in his head he also acknowledged that the Trojans are the second best right behind the ravens. he knows in his bones that the trojans are going to win championships now that the ravens are gone. according to jean's definition of how the game should be played, nobody but the ravens 'play it right'. but then how are they part of the big three? how are the Trojans championship material when everything about them is antithesis to what he was taught?

I think jean is hurtling towards the realization that the ravens didn't play right. that none of the violence enacted on him and on their opponents was correct or necessary. the Trojans confuse him the same way Neil confuses him, they refuse to give in to pressure. no matter what physical or verbal abuse is thrown their way during games, they never return it. and jean thought at first it meant they don't fight back, but I think in the next book when he starts playing with the Trojans he'll see that they do fight back. just not in the way he was taught.

as vindicating and cathartic as it might seem for the Trojans to get red carded, I think what would be even better for jean's healing is to be nice himself. to play a whole season without getting carded once. to push away instead of towards. to do it so much that by the end he doesn't even think about it.

I want jean to break his cage. I want him to spit on everything the raven instilled in him about how you're 'supposed' to play exy. when he's facing off with an opposing team, and they're calling him a whore and a traitor, I want him to look them in the eyes, smile, and say in the words of the iconic Catalina Alvarez, "have a winning day!"

I want him to kill them with kindness.

so, i saw This Post by @moreau29 and... yes. all the yes. headcanon accepted.