Monsters: Logic vs. Everyone
So, last night, as I’m binging on Netflix at 3 AM, my device is dying on me, right?
This is what happens in my head.
Logan: You know we need to get the charger, correct?
Virgil: Get out of bed, and you'll die.
Patton: The bed is really warm and safe, and we have stuffed animals. Maybe we should stay?
Roman: Think of all the HORRIBLY AWFUL monsters that could be under your bed!! In your closet!! INVISIBLE AT THIS MOMENT!
Roman: Fangs. Claws. Dripping, oozing bloodstains? Ohhh, just i-mag-ine it.
Virgil: I am!!
Logan: Guys. It's two a.m. but that's not an excuse for believing this. Monsters aren't real. And the kindle is almost dead. It's ten steps, you'll be fine.
Roman: *realizes overactive imagination is not helpful at this point* But hey maybe they're friendly
Roman: Or we're completely immune to monsters. Like, invulnerable.
Logan: IF - and that's a big if - monsters were real, why would we not be monster-bait? What makes us special?
Patton: Blankets are safe. Monsters can't go through blankets.
Logan: Uh, no.Its just a piece of flimsy, fuzzy cloth.
Roman: NO it's not!! Don't you realize how potently protective blankets are?
Logan: Guys. It's dying. We have to make a choice.
Roman: *eying all the dark corners* Come out, come out, wherever you are ...
Logan: They're not real! GO!
Virgil: go go gogogogogogogo they could be behind you you're not safe out of bed you are going to die your blood will decorate the walls they will eat you gogogogo you aren't safeGO
Roman: Check the corners! Keep your eyes on the corners!
Logan: Just get back in bed you idiots
Virgil: We're not safe in bed monsters could eat their way through the mattress they could be hiding in the crack or really small and in your pillow or they could just climb onto the bed since it's a bed not a safe place and you're in pajamas and those are not adequate protective and YOU IDIOT WE ARE GOING TO DIE WE ARE GOING TO DIE WE ARE GOING -
Roman: Yeah, our stuffed animal. Well, we think he's stuffed. He's a wolf, right, a guardian? He's imbued with a powerful guardian angel spell and we're going to be safe. He can beat any monster, any demon, any nightmare.
Patton: We'll just hug Wolfie and we'll be good, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Logan: Fine. If there are monsters, there's got to be an equal and opposite reaction so yeah he's our guardian angel.
Virgil: This is so stupid. Just plug the charger in and let's keep watching since why WOULDN’T we want to watch more nightmare material?
Patton and Roman: Shhhhhh look at Dean's face. Or Sam's. Or Castiel's.
Logan: They are aesthetically pleasing. Shall we sit back and enjoy the show?
Virgil: *muttering* at least we’ll die happy.