confidently lost.

ur twenties are weird. i have the priorities of a kindergartener again. i don’t know what in the hell is going on EVER. i like colors. i like soup. i want to take a nap

pancakes are made of eggs omfg

Y’all are crazy if you think a chicken won’t happily eat eggs. Y’all insane if you think a chicken won’t tear some nuggets UP. You are ON CRACK if you think a chicken won’t just, eat another injured chicken

Me and some friends were collecting eggs on this farm. We dropped one of them and they went absolutely apeshit over that damn egg. Not even the shell was left.

I know people think chickens are herbivores but they absolutely aren’t.

Chickens are omnivores. They eat meat, they eat eat all sorts of fruits and vegetables.

This isn’t really well known to people who live off of farms or who have never spent time on one. It’s also thanks to tv and movies not showing this side of chickens.

It’s why eggs and chicken meat saying they come from “free-range vegetarian chickens” are HILARIOUS, because if they’re free-range, you can’t control that, and the tiny dinosaurs ARE going to eat a lot of things. And if a mouse meets an early demise because it came near the tiny dinosaurs … ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

As a kid I once threw the neighbor’s chickens a chicken nugget just to see what would happen.

Answer; they fuckin demolished it. Tore it apart and wolfed it down in seconds. 

Rose tinted chicken glasses used to be a very common invention for chickens, because if they saw a speck of blood on another chicken they would gang up on it and murder it to death and feast on it.

Actual piranhas don’t act like Hollywood piranhas.

Chickens, however, do act like Hollywood piranhas. Those fuckers get a taste for blood and they become fucking ravenous fiends. They’re still very much dinosaur.

Pancakes are looking a little tame, huh?

Reblogging for the chicken out catting the cat

andthecatitslikewtf

@keyhollow cause of the gif

The Chicken Run movie is now a horror flick

A lot of animals that you think are herbivores will actually eat meat if they can get it. Horses will try it, giraffes have recently been filmed nomming on bones, most birds are actually omnivores that will eat anything they can get, with the exception of hummingbirds who only eat nectar.

Not quite true, re hummingbirds!

huh. so there really is no such thing as a true herbivore

Just thinking of that scene from Beauty and the Beast with Fran Drescher when her mom gave her chickens chicken meat and said, “You gave the chickens chicken? That’s like Silence of the Chickens.” Stuck in my head forever.

Hummingbirds also feed their babies insects. Better/more protein for growth than nectar, although they will feed them that too (by squirting it).

We’ve caught deer eating birds. We’ve seen hippos eating zebra.

Horses, elephants, rabbits and hares, we’ve now documented meat eating in all of them.

This is absolutely a nightmare murder planet, and that’s okay, because we are nightmare murder creatures ourselves. Let me tell you about the Greenland Shark.

IT lives in the ocean. Which is full of shit that will kill you if the water itself doesn’t drown you. They live in water so cold the temperature itself will kill you. They spend most of their time so deep the pressure would kill you if you survived all that other stuff. And the beast itself is a shark, that grows up to 20 feet long, and has been found with moose and polar bear remains in their stomach – fuck with it, and it can definitely kill you.

But wait, there’s more – the greenland shark, in order to survive the cold, is full of a chemical called trimethylamine which is poisonous to humans and can cause death if ingested. 

Of course humans (from Iceland) considered it a delicacy. I mean after you pull the monster out of the murder soup it lives in you have to bury it under a rock for most of a year to ferment it (partially dissolve it into alcohol, ANOTHER poison) before you can eat it, but people have been doing just that for the last 700 years or more.

Side note, greenland sharks live so long that there’s just a chance there may be one alive today that was born before we started hunting them. They don’t even start having babies until they are 150 years old.

anyway, nightmare murder planet, and we fit in perfectly. 

initails

no i didn’t skip that song because i don’t like it, i skipped it because i don’t have the emotional stability to listen to it now

TLC | December 15th, 2019.

my budgeting app is like “did you know you’ve shopped at panda express 3 times this month?” to roast me like YEAH. maybe i HAVE. maybe i go buy crab rangoons every time i fail an exam bc the girl who closes during the week always tells me she likes my HAIR and sometimes it’s NICE to have a little POSITIVE INTERACTION WITH A STRANGER. and i steal plastic FORKS from there. is that OKAY with you?

hi im a cashew white guy and I’m gonna say a slur to be funny because fuck political correctness

i just realized that autocorrect changed cishet to cashew I’m going to bed

why did I not question “cashew” as a type of white guy tho

the fact that keanu reeves rejected being on mcu multiple times but said yes to be on a sponge bob movie just shows how truly powerful he is

anyone: we should improve society somewhat

veterans: you dont get to complain about anything until youve committed war crimes like i have