Fitzsimmons: First Kiss (308)

Theme — Young Forever by vitaminholland Preview/Download

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I apologise for having a nuanced opinion on the Internet, but "The destruction of a vast network that many creators rely on to reach their audience is heartbreaking" and "Watching the multibillion-dollar impulsive purchase of an entitled man-child crash and burn within days of getting his hands on it is objectively funny" are two statements that can and should co-exist

For me, they must co-exist, because if I can’t have the latter, the former is unbearable. It’s the brutal satisfaction of watching your own crops burn and knowing that the invaders will starve.

It’s the brutal satisfaction of watching your own crops burn and knowing that the invaders will starve.

Thought-to-speech technology that gets hacked by people who want text messages from their pets while they are at work, only to immediately regret it because their pets text them the dumbest things, and the only way to get any kind of a clear image of what's going on is texting the other pets for cross-reference.

Like you get a text from your dog going "END IS HERE DOOM IS COMING URGENT URGENT SEND TEXT G-D HAVE MERCY, HUMAN COME HOME IMMEDIATELY", (you have no idea why the text translator has decided that your dog is jewish, but that doesn't feel important enough to look into or change) and before you do, you text the cat like "what's going on?"

And the cat replies "sunshine is turned off, window is cold >:C" so okay that's a clue. You've got a monitor lizard that doesn't do much monitoring, but will reply with whatever the lizard is feeling right now if you text "?" first.

"hwrmbglhlr the earth rumbles are sexy", replies the lizard. Okay, so dog panic, no sunshine, and the lizard is sensing vibrations. Oh, there's a rain storm overhead. Fuck's sake.

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We’re slow learners in our family, aren’t we, Da?

SILENT WITNESS | Series 25 Episode 4.

how do y’all make such a mess in a public bathroom I don’t understand. I would kill myself immediately if I left a mess in a bathroom and someone else had to see it. do people not respect the cleaners

please shut up, i'm in the middle of being the romantic lead in my fake scenario rn

*looks at the cock* ohh i shiuldnt trust my brain here maybe *bathes in my negative thoughts*

the Clock. The Clock. The clock The Clock

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE.

Musk running Twitter be like

Anne Carson, from “The Glass Essay”, Glass, Irony, and God

Aaaaaand with sound this time 😬

Buck + Eddie - Sharing a locker