thanks for inviting me to your home bestie where's the milf

the killers played mr. brightside at their first ever performance in a cafe open mic imagine being in a fucking cafe and hearing one of the best songs of the 21st century being played for the first time

I miss the god complex english class gave me

I love when I’m about to clock out and a coworker says “you’re leaving me?” like first of all it’s so touching to know that my presence here offers you some semblance of joy and relief from the misery and anxiety-inducing stress that our work environment causes. Second of all yes bitch I’m OUT I’m gonna go play some viddy games suck it

being in your 20’s is like “if I can just get through this week I’ll be ok” but every fucking week

public places need to give me a heads up before they start playing fleetwood mac. i’m not ready to have a spiritual out of body experience in the cold & flu aisle of cvs

cant believe i have to stop making fun of homeschooled kids cause we all homeschooled now. fucks sake

you still have so many years to meet so many people you never knew you could love so much

the only real victims of cancel culture were the dixie chicks

This blog is pro tits and anti Nazi

find a new niche of youtube videos and maybe youll feel better

im too much of a baby for tinder i wanna meet people the old fashioned way where we’re both on either side of a fish tank and notice each other thru the water… 

remember when you were fifteen and you were convinced you were evil and irredeemable and completely insane but it turns out you were just fifteen

me when i was fifteen: oh i am just a deeply evil and destructive being and someday i will be punished for my crimes. also the only song that matters is sail by awolnation. *sits quietly in bed and does not do my homework.*

My Chemical Romance is anti-war but pro-getting in a knife fight with your homoerotic rival in an alley behind a catholic church in New Jersey

tfw you’re broke

sorry prof i simply could not complete my homework as i was too busy pining and being tender. i hope u understand. best wishes

[grabs your hand] no, it’s our chemical romance