a human, being

Love fantasy settings where “fairy” is treated like a fantasy junk drawer. Settings where “fairy” means elves and goblins and pixies, but it also means trolls and fauns and rabbits in waistcoats and talking pianos.

Settings where if it’s magical, and meets a certain degree of whimsy, it’s a fairy. You know?

#not to reference one of the biggest media properties of all time#but i love how fuckin WEIRD fairies get in pokemon (via @strawberry-crocodile)

Hand to god forgot about pokemon when I made this post but god fuck yes that is exactly what I’m talking about.

I was talking about this with a friend and she nodded and went “Like the muppets”

This is a fairy court.

subway employees when i tell them i want a sub:

also my dad has become obsessed with stargazey pie to the point where he Has to make one every year on the 23rd so we're duking it out for the kitchen space

pie. lmao

Sure okay why not

oh i see. because she is purpur.

My work boots are the most expensive shoes I’ve ever owned.

Also the most comfortable. I chose them after trying on several different brands and comparing lifespan vs usage vs comfort - I needed them for a physically demanding job, not the weekend hiking trails. I could have easily chosen cheaper boots that would have lasted long enough to be worth their low price, but I know the Sam Vimes Boot Theory and knew weaker, less comfortable boots would make my life harder in the long run.

So when the outside edge of the heel started wearing down after three years of heavy use I went to the shop I got them from and said “hey this is a common problem for me with how I walk but now it’s affecting my ankles and knees and I don’t wanna have to buy a new pair, is there a way to fix this?”

The salesman at this very fancy upscale boot store said “oh yeah, there’s a shoe repair place that can give you some heel guards - it’ll keep the rubber from wearing out.”

So at 8am this morning right after my 9hr shift ends I went to the shoe repair shop and it is the most hole-in-the-wall, is-this-a-real-business-or-a-mafia-front, am-I-gonna-get-shot tiny cinder block cube I’ve ever seen in my life. I grew up plenty poor and love me a good hole-in-the-wall business, but going from upscale store to this cash-only repair shop gave me whiplash. Wasn’t expecting this when a guy who wears three piece suits to sell boots said it’s the best place to go.

The skinny kid behind the counter looks somehow 16 and 25 at the same time, but when I tell him this place was recommended he smiles and says to hand over my boots. I hand him the vaguely warm foot-smelling boots, and stand in my socks in the 3’ square entryway surrounded by every color leather polish you could buy and watch as he turns my boots around in his hands, sizes up a crescent moon bits of plastic, and unceremoniously hammers tiny nails through them before handing them back.

The heels are perfectly level again. I can walk without almost rolling my ankles. They don’t clack loudly on the pavement or feel different. This is gonna fix my knee pain. It cost $10.

This kid had every tool he needed within arms reach, worked fast and smoothly, I was in and out the door in less than 8 minutes, and it only cost $10.

I didn’t think anything could cost only $10 anymore. I’m so used to hyperinflation prices I was spiritually thrown back to the 1400’s visiting the cobbler in town square. This kid might have been that cobbler and just decided to never die.

I’m still reeling from the whiplash, and gobsmacked at the price, and thrilled I didn’t have to go buy new, worse work boots (cuz I don’t have that kind of money for a second pair, I’m expecting these ones to last a decade) and it feels like I just experienced one of the rare little chunks of magic that floats around our world.

Gdańsk, Poland by Martyna Damska

Ahmad Abu Shamla, a Palestinian man, was killed by Israel in Rafah. He had been working for France since 2002 in the French institute.

Wanna know why he was still in Gaza? Because France refused to put his 4 oldest sons in the list of people allowed to evacuate through Rafah. Because of his job France could repatriate him and his family but they chose to put only part of the family in the list and refused to put his 4 older sons. Ahmad told the rest of his family who were on the list to leave and he stayed behind with his 4 sons and on Saturday he died because of his wounds after the house he was staying at was bombed. He was killed by Israel because France expected him to leave his sons behind.

It’s just so fucking disgusting I wanna throw up.

France 100% killed him. Who in their right mind would expect a parent to leave 4 of his children behind knowing perfectly they might not survive? They knew that by denying entry to 4 of his sons either all of the family would stay in Gaza or part of the family would stay.

It took France a whole month to evacuate them cause they were evacuated only in mid November. And while Ahmad was in Gaza, Reem, his wife who evacuated with their nieces and their 2 other sons, was fighting to get their 4 sons on the evacuation list that way Ahmad would be able to come with them.

Some representatives are sending letters to the ministry of foreign affairs telling her to evacuate Ahmad’s 4 sons so his death wouldn’t be vain. But the fact that he had to die for his story to even be public.

This man worked for France for 2 fucking decades.

France killed him.

Allah yarham shouhada.

i hope everything gets easier soon. or at least funnier. amen

big L for twitter

Theres a novel by Poul Anderson called The High Crusade, which has an alien spacecraft land in rural England in 1345 during the Hundred Year’s War. The local baron has been raising an army to help King Edward against the French, and immediately assumes this must be some kind of enemy trick.

In a way, he’s correct: the aliens are scouts for a brutal and repressive interstellar empire, which has dominated numerous planets through their devastating technology.

Unfortunately, this reliance on advanced weapons means they’ve completely forgotten all forms of melee combat and Sir Roger of Tourneville leads his militia to defeat the aliens easily.

They spare a single enemy, forcing him to fly the ship at spearpoint. They intend to raid behind enemy lines, capture the king of France to end the war, and then go onward to reclaim the Holy Land using the same tactic.

In an attempt to outwit the knights, the alien pilot actually travels to the nearest Imperial planet, where he expects the occupying military forces to save him.

I won’t spoil the details, but the knights accept this as a challenge and declare the launch of the “high crusade”.

That last picture is so stupidly badass I might tattoo that next to my dick cause it ain’t getting any better after that

Okay but whose subjective experience is ontologically correct????

there's a frog, right now, in a pond in a roadside ditch in tennessee. he's the one

New Coraline design drop

 the only criticism of millennials l accept

Constructive Criticism

My Eco-Terrorist Son is Absolutely Dripless

I still spend days, weeks every year thinking about how this critique pre-dates the advent of Programming Socks™ and cat-ear headphones, and asking myself, “did the Hacker Aesthetic go from Unfortunate Sweatshirts to Neon Catgirlgender Fantasy because of John Waters? Did he do this???”

brushing one's teeth... a farewell to treats. good night, sweet delicacies, my mouth knows only tooth paste now. perhaps when a new day breaks we will meet once more

getting into bed on a December night by Ellen Bass