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im falling in love with life again
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Will Issue 2 come out? Will there be a kickstarter?
So the short answer is yes, and the much longer answer is that the issue got to be about 1/2 done and then Many Things happened and I put it on hold for a very long time. I still want to complete it; for me at the very least and when that happens I'll be getting it out to anyone who wants it :D
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PSA that if I'm posting emotionally about how healing it is to finally see two people of the same sex kiss at the end of a TV show, maybe Do Not come into my notes saying you'd actually prefer not to see it. You're happy never seeing confirmation of gay love because it doesn't affect you. It's entertainment to you. It's a pastime. It's shipping. For some of us this is our lives. We've grown up seeing characters like us be pushed into asylums and graves and corrective straight marriages rather than a lover's arms.
I wouldn't accept "it's gross and unnecessary to actually show them kissing" from a straight person and I won't be accepting it from other quarters either.
@mottlemoth Meanwhile, my heart is breaking over a 16-year old gay kid here in town. Despite being closeted, he was so bullied at school for seeming gay and unmasculine that his mom had to take him out last week and put him in online classes. He came out to her, but the rest of the family is deeply religious and awash in toxic masculinity and homophobic jokes. If they find out heโll be kicked out for sureโat minimum. He has no friends, no idea where to turn, and is terrified of being gay. Through an intermediary I sent a care package and a note.
So I have absolutely no patience for those entitled souls who delicately turn up their noses and declare theyโd rather not see it. Too fucking bad. As long as queer teenagers are still being threatened and homophobic and transphobic laws are being passed, the world needs MORE gay in entertainment, not less. More gay will help normalize it. More gay will help create a world in which a gay kid is embraced by their community, not beaten. Maybe more gay will reduce gay suicide and homelessness.
The arseholes who dare sully your inbox need a serious reality check.
Reblogging this because finding replies is near impossible.
I have a feeling this might be about my reply โ which I couldnโt find again, so I canโt 100% remember what I wrote, feel free to correct me.
I realised, reading your revelation regarding such pure gay representation and how that effected your feelings around shipping, why I myself cannot relate to the need so many voice regularly to see their ship become โvisuallyโ canon. This is often (and I donโt mean you here) accompanied by a thirst for very explicit content (remember the insane johnlock days?). I could never understand such desire because of how I perceive love and relationships. It also made me realise how well that ties in with my discomfort for PWP/sex without feelings fanfiction even centred around my otp.
It felt like a bit of a light bulb moment โ I was excited. I suddenly understood something about myself, and believe me itโs hard to understand something as diverse and little talked about as asexuality.
Should I have stopped for a moment and thought that voicing this excitement was inappropriate under your post? Yes.
But I NEVER said itโs generally gross or unnecessary to see gay people kissing! I find it gross and uncomfortable to see ANY two people kissing or being intimate without any kind of emotional connection (almost all straight couples in television, tbh). THAT kiss between Ed/Stede there? Obvious emotions and feelings, like, not doubt there. Masterpiece. Literally what the best fics are made of. (Same goes for the Old Guardโs Joe/Nicky btw).
Perhaps I am generally uncomfortable with seeing very sexual behaviour (especially in public) and characters discovering the primal side of their sexuality (so basically all teen and young adult films) because itโs like a mirror, showing me what I lack, how I am other, how I should feel.
(I had just watch Death On The Nile โ I was still a bit traumatised by the pre-boulder scene.)
I am NOT delicately turning up my nose, nor am I an arsehole who wishes for less gay representation! (Less straight would be nice, but thatโs never gonna happen, soโฆ).
I really wish, Moth, you would have mentioned in your original post that this comment was made by someone whoโs ace. Doesnโt make it completely ok, but puts it into perspective.
You know what I would love to see? Actual ace representation. Like an actual, HEALTHY, ace/ace or better yet ace/allo relationship. Which I have NEVER seen in my live, nor have I ever seen it being hinted at in television.
And I feel like this is coming, because apparently everything is a contest these days: Am I being beaten up because of being ace? No. Is my family kicking me out? No, because they donโt know or donโt really believe thatโs a thing. Do I have any disadvantages in life? No. But you know what? Iโm fucking lonely and confused, because the world of romance and sex I am constantly being shown on screen, by the people talking around me and in the news is not one I recognise. Yet, I WANT IT. And there is no one, not ONE PERSON, who understands.
I find no pride in my sexuality. While I would no longer say I loathe it, I would change it in a heartbeat if I could.
Itโs been over a decade and I am very sure it will be many more years before I stop feeling like that. Perhaps, this day will never come โ who knows.
So I found it and this is what I wrote:
>> โIt's strange how different my ace perception is. I actually PREFER the ships where nothing is explicitly shown, simply because it also lacks the risk of uncomfortable (for me) sexual tension. It's one of the reasons I love Mystrade so much.
Them being together "behind the scenes" is neither confirmed nor contradicted by canon.
But I can totally understand that you'd prefer to actually see it. But I cannot relate to what is normally shown (sexual tension) so l don't long for it.โ <<
As you can see, neither do I use the word GROSS nor do I even say I DISLIKE THEM KISSING. From what I have seen of the show, Stede/Ed donโt show sexual but romantic tension. Iโd certainly call that kiss romantic.
Your accusations against me are false, based on words that you deliberately misinterpreted, threw back and forth in your head for a while until they represented what you wanted to see. So you could create fake drama. Well, congratulations, people flock to your aid without knowing the source.
Edit: That last paragraph was a bit harsh, I was hurt and angry. The point stands though: the accusations are false and my words were misquoted. I have a right to defend and explain myself, and I did. Sure, there are people out there probably foaming at the mouth seeing queer representation, but I am not one of those people.
Reblogged
PSA that if I'm posting emotionally about how healing it is to finally see two people of the same sex kiss at the end of a TV show, maybe Do Not come into my notes saying you'd actually prefer not to see it. You're happy never seeing confirmation of gay love because it doesn't affect you. It's entertainment to you. It's a pastime. It's shipping. For some of us this is our lives. We've grown up seeing characters like us be pushed into asylums and graves and corrective straight marriages rather than a lover's arms.
I wouldn't accept "it's gross and unnecessary to actually show them kissing" from a straight person and I won't be accepting it from other quarters either.
@mottlemoth Meanwhile, my heart is breaking over a 16-year old gay kid here in town. Despite being closeted, he was so bullied at school for seeming gay and unmasculine that his mom had to take him out last week and put him in online classes. He came out to her, but the rest of the family is deeply religious and awash in toxic masculinity and homophobic jokes. If they find out heโll be kicked out for sureโat minimum. He has no friends, no idea where to turn, and is terrified of being gay. Through an intermediary I sent a care package and a note.
So I have absolutely no patience for those entitled souls who delicately turn up their noses and declare theyโd rather not see it. Too fucking bad. As long as queer teenagers are still being threatened and homophobic and transphobic laws are being passed, the world needs MORE gay in entertainment, not less. More gay will help normalize it. More gay will help create a world in which a gay kid is embraced by their community, not beaten. Maybe more gay will reduce gay suicide and homelessness.
The arseholes who dare sully your inbox need a serious reality check.
Reblogging this because finding replies is near impossible.
I have a feeling this might be about my reply โ which I couldnโt find again, so I canโt 100% remember what I wrote, feel free to correct me.
I realised, reading your revelation regarding such pure gay representation and how that effected your feelings around shipping, why I myself cannot relate to the need so many voice regularly to see their ship become โvisuallyโ canon. This is often (and I donโt mean you here) accompanied by a thirst for very explicit content (remember the insane johnlock days?). I could never understand such desire because of how I perceive love and relationships. It also made me realise how well that ties in with my discomfort for PWP/sex without feelings fanfiction even centred around my otp.
It felt like a bit of a light bulb moment โ I was excited. I suddenly understood something about myself, and believe me itโs hard to understand something as diverse and little talked about as asexuality.
Should I have stopped for a moment and thought that voicing this excitement was inappropriate under your post? Yes.
But I NEVER said itโs generally gross or unnecessary to see gay people kissing! I find it gross and uncomfortable to see ANY two people kissing or being intimate without any kind of emotional connection (almost all straight couples in television, tbh). THAT kiss between Ed/Stede there? Obvious emotions and feelings, like, not doubt there. Masterpiece. Literally what the best fics are made of. (Same goes for the Old Guardโs Joe/Nicky btw).
Perhaps I am generally uncomfortable with seeing very sexual behaviour (especially in public) and characters discovering the primal side of their sexuality (so basically all teen and young adult films) because itโs like a mirror, showing me what I lack, how I am other, how I should feel.
(I had just watch Death On The Nile โ I was still a bit traumatised by the pre-boulder scene.)
I am NOT delicately turning up my nose, nor am I an arsehole who wishes for less gay representation! (Less straight would be nice, but thatโs never gonna happen, soโฆ).
I really wish, Moth, you would have mentioned in your original post that this comment was made by someone whoโs ace. Doesnโt make it completely ok, but puts it into perspective.
You know what I would love to see? Actual ace representation. Like an actual, HEALTHY, ace/ace or better yet ace/allo relationship. Which I have NEVER seen in my live, nor have I ever seen it being hinted at in television.
And I feel like this is coming, because apparently everything is a contest these days: Am I being beaten up because of being ace? No. Is my family kicking me out? No, because they donโt know or donโt really believe thatโs a thing. Do I have any disadvantages in life? No. But you know what? Iโm fucking lonely and confused, because the world of romance and sex I am constantly being shown on screen, by the people talking around me and in the news is not one I recognise. Yet, I WANT IT. And there is no one, not ONE PERSON, who understands.
I find no pride in my sexuality. While I would no longer say I loathe it, I would change it in a heartbeat if I could.
Itโs been over a decade and I am very sure it will be many more years before I stop feeling like that. Perhaps, this day will never come โ who knows.
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DISASTER LINEAGE APPRECIATION WEEK DAY 5: FAVOURITE QUOTE
