mispyre

  you still don't realize it? jeez, get it together...   you're all supposed to be the "symbols of hope," am i right?

                                  —ah, i forgot... except for HINATAKUN, of course.

  i didn't expect /you/ to know that.   you’re pretty knowledgeable ... for a substitute reserve course student.

  you actually noticed that... nice catch, hinatakun!   are you using your "super highschool level reserve course student" talent?

it’s not that i was doing it just for the sake of that.

i think ... i wanted it. two birds, one stone ;

• but instead of sympathizing with him – instead of going “you’ve been feeling this the whole time? ..no, not this, but seven times this?” – they just get...pretty annoyed. most of them are pretty dismissive of it.
• if they were to point it out though, they’d probably just get an apologetic smile or carefree laugh in return ... nothing that answers anything, really.
• to which the interjection BECAUSE HE’S KOMAEDA comes
• nanami’s expression changes to confused—but not a stupid, naive type of confusion. more of a genuine lost, but thinking look. “And?”
• “And????And????” souda’s turn to gape because he’s the No. 1 Anti-Komaeda’s Antics dude. he’s a little at a loss for words and just kind of starts rambling — “dude’s wack or something, nanami. he probably doesn’t even feel pain or—”
• “oh,” —it’s a quiet voice, but for some reason, it silences souda immediately. probably because he rarely talks..no thats wrong, he talks a lot. the thing is, he rarely talks sense or defends himself, but there it is, there’s that oh— “i definitely feel pain, soudakun.” ........he’s still smiling
• surprise, komaeda also has a low pain tolerance. well, mentally, he can take it without complaining, but physically, his body gives in quicker than most. he’s, uh..kind of fragile, actually.

• komaeda and souda are paired up
• and souda is not happy
• souda complains so much – as if komaeda’s not even there, listening to every insult – and komaeda just smiles through it all
• he doesn’t even try to empathize with komaeda
• souda complains to hinata a lot, too. hinata’s paired with nanami, who’s pretty tame like she hasn’t caused any problems for him and even if she did, he would be okay with it.
• tent. sonia and gundam are paired as well, and souda is Not Happy With That As Well, just his luck...super edgelord gets soniasan all to himself, and him??!?who does he get??!?!probably-a-freakin-masochist-under-that-pretty-face-komaeda-nagito
• that’s rough, buddy. / shut up.

• komaeda’s the human headache, and souda hates it.
• hinata’s never hit komaeda before — even if they were partners in this whole thing, hinata wouldn’t really ever get ... physical with komaeda. he’d get agitated, sure, maybe raise his voice a little bit — but more in a firm way than a yell — and that would do it, but ... never hit komaeda.
• but with souda, it’s a bit different. he can’t sound as serious as hinata does, and he sure as hell doubts his ability to communicate with komaeda the living demon verbally. doesn’t even try, really.
• so one day, when he’s really frustrated with komaeda and his mosquito pain and the jolt of actual pain that results from some unlucky encounter the dude’s had — and even though komaeda quietly says it’s his luck, souda sincerely thinks he planned it, did it on his own, knew the consequences —
• and so out of anger, forgetting for a moment that their pain was connected, souda hits him. square in the eye. knocks komaeda off balance and he stumbles back.
• but instead of feeling the satisfaction of a well-aimed punch, souda feels a good amount of the pain hit him straight back, and it hurts. but he doesn’t bother showing it.
• he can’t show it.
• instead, souda’s trying to stare komaeda down, as steely and serious as he can. even though his head is hurting a lot and komaeda is still so goddamn annoying, he has to look hard right now.
• tells komaeda to knock it off because he’s now someone else’s baggage as well now, so .. knock it off.

• komaeda’s quiet
• maybe shares a small compliment on how much souda must go through as a mechanic and how dedicated he must be
• but it’s ... in a nonchalant lighthearted non-creepy way. 
• komaeda doesn’t even say “ow” or anything, but it definitely hurt, it must have..
• souda’s a little weary of it all tbh, like ... this is komaeda. it can’t be so ... easy.
• “hey man, are you uh .. are you sure it’s okay?”
• “mm.”

• if komaeda and hinata were partners, it would be more earnest and ... quiet.
• hinata is weary of komaeda, but unlike souda, unlike everyone really, hinata at least ... tries. and that’s why it’s always hinatakun.
• “just ... know that everything you do, i’m going to feel too, so ... nothing reckless, okay?”
• that’s their cheesy pact, and hinata has to squeeze his eyes shut after saying it because of how lame it sounds, but komaeda just nods quietly and well ... he doesn’t just that.
• there’s the neverending pain that comes from minor things, like when mioda rushes them somewhere and huptwothreehuptwothreefasterguys!! cmoncmon,ibuki’srunningoutoftimehereee!! and there’s a sudden pain in hinata’s lungs, but he doesn’t comment on it ever. doesn’t even bring it up to komaeda, really.
• just takes it without making things messier than they need to be.

• back to “everyone shares it” .. yeah
• when the experiment moves on to include .. emotional pain .. well.
• w-e-l-l.
• komaeda does surprisingly well for the amount of verbal battering he gets.
• he feels some things from souda’s end every now and then, raises a brow but doesn’t say much. he is aware of it though, kind of just ... pockets the information. they never talk about it.
• and for some reason, not much of what’s being said ever affects komaeda
• and there are some pretty nasty accusations and remarks flying about
• until it’s trial time(ok..danganronpa/kiznaiver/danganronpa au..idk how aus work, bear with me..)
• and hinata just says in a tired exasperated but firm voice “don’t.” or “just stop.” or just a tired blurted-out “komaeda, can’t you just be NORMAL for once?” and .. well
• there’s a sharp pang that goes through everyone’s stomach, right below the lungs, kind of a fluttery but painful sharp sensation and it’s so unpleasant and uncomfortable and sharp and ..
• komaeda doesn’t bother looking at hinata.
• komaeda and hinata don’t say a word.
• and that’s just one-seventh of it.

        —– IS BECAUSE SOMEONE THOUGHT IT would be funny to try and pull some sort of response out of him, see him jump or lean one way or another, thought it would be entertaining to press chilled fingers against flesh and send a chill down his spine… well, he doesn’t regret it, necessarily, but it certainly wasn’t as enjoyable as he’d hoped; he knows for next time at least. 

        Weight shifts betwixt feet, a tiny shrug is offered at the mention of snow.

        ❛ I do. ❜ It’s a lame answer and he knows it ( unfair, really, given Hinata’s seemingly genuine attempt at a conversation ; he’ll try to do better just for you, Hinata-kun ), a sigh stifled as he convinces lips to give an upward turn, a smile that does not quite reach his eyes, a little distant — but that’s not important. ❛ I’ve never really done much with it but I’ve always liked watching it fall, especially early in the morning. ❜ A young him, sitting by frost covered windows with a dog twice his size and watching the snow come down, hard at first then so gently as it began to let up, small hands pressed to the pane with curiosity in his eyes, imagination running wild… visions of snowball fights & building snowmen floating through head, friends to do such activities with — & that’s where the fantasy would break, with a sad, knowing smile that no six year old should be capable of. Still, he did like watching; his growing apathy may put a wrench in that this time around, however. 

        ❛ …Do you like snow, Hinata-kun? ❜ He asks, ignoring the stinging of the wind against his face; if Hinata wishes to stay, he has no objections — developing a cold would be the least of his worries, anyway. 

i didn’t think you were the type to waste food. says it without rly thinking, lazily scanning the unfinished ..

that hardly counts as food, hinatakun. ____ (they feed me too much here anyway..)

if you want, i could try to ... get you food from out. or something.

he laughs but its a bitter sound. something that says ‘hinatakun is already doing more than enough visiting everyday. having a burden like this out of school too would be...’ shakes the thought of his head. like hell he could read komaeda’s mind, and like hell he would actually think of komaeda as that much a burden. troublesome, definitely, but burdening?

is there a difference.

hinata knows komaeda’s birthday – sees it on the hospital sheets and all, knows it.

three routes: a. komaeda saw his once on the student file thing. of course, there was a lot going on then, a lot at stake, looking for hinatakuns talent and all, but the birthday caught his eye as special. 01/01. new year. makes him continue the search with reinvigorating spirit. yeah...there’s definitely something special about hinatakun... there’s definitely somethi—his eyes narrow as he reads more of the files.

b. komaeda does not know hinata’s birthday. hinata doesn’t mention it to him, because it’s not like it’s...that big a deal. i mean, people are already busy enough as it is with the holidays and new years, and it might sound cool to have 01/01 as a birthday, but unless you’re actually special or something, it doesn’t matter. otherwise, it’s actually ... kind of lame. cue a three-in-one birthday present, people forgetting, etc. etc. etc. not that he minds it or anything, but... it’s lame. komaeda finds out the day after that hinata’s birthday had passed, feels a bit let down about not being told — but it’s not because he’s komaeda that he didn’t know, it’s just ... hinata has a hard time explaining it, but he winds up letting on more to komaeda than he expected.

c. unsure

coming soon...

a. au .. au .. au .. b. school life .. things .. c. words