we're in a dell

How come Easy Company is the only company who’s either at the front of an advance, or, like now, exposed at the far edge of the line?

• RON SPEIRS
• ron fuckin’ speirs, y’all
• somebody should make a highlight reel of speirs’s most feral moments
• steals things. literally just pockets them right in front of people, looking them dead in the eye. just. takes them.
• took on a german machine gun and lived
• stalks people silently in the woods
• delivers ominous nihilistic speeches without blinking
• has a cult of rumours surrounding him, each more feral than the next
• Y’ALL KNOW WHAT HE DID IN FOY
• working knowledge of roman history which apparently comes out of nowhere???
• after v-e day, a few easy company guys brought their buddy dressed as a german right to speirs and said “sir we found this german prisoner”, and speirs, without even looking up, just said “shoot him”
• “WHEN YOU TALK TO AN OFFICER, YOU SAY SIR”
• (historically, said “i’ve killed better men than you”, which is possibly more badass)
• pistol-whipped a bitch
• uhh, remember that time he got so mad general strayer was trying to take his car that he destroyed it with extreme prejudice before shoving it over a cliff??
•  T H E   G L A R E 
• earl mcclung
• could smell germans??  how even the hell
• remember that one time the germans blew up the bridges in holland while mcclung was literally on it, and as the dust settled everyone thought, “well, there goes mcclung”, but he literally tuck-n-rolled himself over the bridge and behind a log while the explosion was happening??  and lived??
• they called him freaking “one lung”.  just imagine you’re in the woods all alone, just vibing, when some guy called One Lung comes barreling out at you.   “what’s your name,”  you ask between screams of mortal terror.  “THEY CALL ME ONE LUNG”  he replies.  that’s objectively terrifying.
• joe liebgott
• needs therapy.
• winters knew.  winters knew exactly what was up.  do not leave liebgott alone with the prisoners.
• cut off a guy’s finger???  as a souvenir??  jesus freaking ch—
• i think he tried to bite webster in that one scene
• definitely tried to maul guarnere  ( he had it coming )
• remember that one nazi
• bill guarnere and joe toye
• they go together because they’re the exact same level of wild animal
• bill gets +1 point because they literally called him “wild bill”
• stole a motorcycle, broke his leg, and tried to go awol from the hospital a few weeks later…  by painting his cast black and trying to walk out. it did not work. when the hospital staff caught him, he basically said “and i’ll do it again” 
• they tried to demote him to private for this, and simply failed
• joe + brass knuckles
• once don malarkey was being threatened by another paratrooper, and joe came out of nowhere, slamming the guy into a wall, almost off his feet, screaming “NO ONE THREATENS MALARK”. imagine it and tell me you’re not shitting yourself a little.
• both got their legs blown off, at the exact same time on the exact same day, and not only LIVED, but wisecracked at each other while waiting to be taken away
• bill tried to jump out of a med-evac plane with one leg.  there was some turbulence, so he literally hopped up and was like “GIMME A PARACUTE, I’M GOIN”
• joe tried to kick his brother’s ass with his own prosthetic leg
• donald malarkey
• “what?” you say. “malarkey was so chill.  one of the chillest guys in the company!”
• what about that time he stole a motorcycle
• or jumped off his roof with an umbrella just to see what would happen
• or ran into open fire to try and score a luger
• OR THE TIME HE CHUGGED STRAIGHT METHANOL AND ALMOST DIED
• lewis nixon
• “tune in or check out hoes”

I’m always fumbling with grenades. It’d be easy if one of them went off by accident.

Trigger, my beloved!