i have a disgusting amount of dreams that just involve me identifying birds like i come out of my dreams with lists of birds that i saw and i was like "i know who that is. Great Blue Heron. Cedar Waxwing"

so it’s the month of may huh?…well if you replaced the ‘m’ in may with ‘g’ well…you ‘may’ be surprised at what you find 😏😏

gonth

wait

ok.

if i had super speed im sure people would be like "how could you possibly have super speed" and i would be like "ok, ill prove it. name something you can get at a grocery store" and they would be like "hmmm okay. cheddar cheese" and then i would use my super speed to shave their head completely bald almost instantly. theyll never see it coming

Let us suppose that the "average" horse would have equal proportions of all these parts. The degree to which each part in this poll deviates from the "average" size (20% of total) will determine how large or small that part of our horse will be (i.e a horse with only 10% in Legs will have legs half the size of the average horse).

I will draw a picture of the horse we make!

Thank you for your patience, tumblr. I have been at work all day but now I am home and ready to build this horse you asked for.

First, let's pull up the poll results alongside an average looking horse. I have calculated the size of each part of our horse in relation to Average Size.

Next we will adjust our horse's components according to the specifications.

Finally, let us properly assemble these parts and see how it looks.

And there you have it. Great work team. No notes.

like 99% of "men and women are soooo different!!!" comedy is literally just describing the experience of not understanding other people. like it's not that women never say what they mean talking to other people is just like that. it can be hard to understand what other people are thinking. bioessentialism really rots the brain

"women will say I'm fine and then not mean it" yeah that's something literally everybody does. is this your first time interacting with another human being my guy

this is one of the only funny responses on this hell of a post

But what if it was all a dream

This is more unsettling. I know it's there. I know it should be there. I know this pristine landscape is hiding its horrors like teeth.

[I.D. an edited version of the "children's hospital" meme photo where the splattering red pattern on the hall floor has been removed. End I.D.]

Well duh. It’s just color theory

͏ Heritage Post

not people thinking they can escape heartache. avoiding it at all cost is itself a form of it

Depression is such an effective tranquilizer that it creates a great opportunity for plot twists in your real life. I have a pretty consistent opinion of myself which is "low" and "never ending guilt and shame for reasons I don't understand."

Recently received feedback from two different editing clients that started with "Please pass along to Jacquelynn that she is phenomenal at her job" and "I was blown away by the evaluation I received."

You always hear about how depression (and anxiety) lies to you and distorts reality, but there is logically knowing that and then there is like, physical proof of it and you are suddenly Neo in the Matrix jumping out of the fucked up little tube machine.

Look, medication and therapy are essential, but I think we shouldn't underestimate this form of treatment

(Source)

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

i sent this meme to 7 people, and 4 of them asked me to translate for them. i legitimately do not think that was necessary.

[ID: First, a Tiktok screenshot of someone blurry from jumping, with the text "pov: les bisexuels quand le docteur leur a prescrit des antibiotoqiques".

Second is a meme of a man, labelled "yo", preparing to slam a card into a table. The table is labelled "Una conversación casual", and the card in his hand is labelled "el problema es el monolinguismo" /End ID]

[DI: Primero, una captura de pantalla de Tiktok con un gente, nublado por brincando y con el texto "pov: les bisexuels quand le docteur leur a prescrit des antibiotoqiques".

Segundo es un meme de un hombre, etiqueta "yo", preparando golpear una carta de una mesa. La mesa etiqueta "Una concersación casual", y la carta etiqueta "El problema es el monolinguismo" /Fin DI]

i hate that "that that" is grammatically correct. why is english the joke language

by the way, this post was inspired by some writing i was doing last night where i wrote "that that" and got so mad that i had to take a break for the rest of the evening

it's understandable that that "that that" that ended your writing session would inspire a post like that

what the fuck is jojo about

Reading the page doesn’t help.

Kars has been alive for 102,018 slutty, slutty years

I must not explain the joke. Explaining the joke is the joke-killer. I will face my followers who did not get the joke. I will permit them to pass over me and through me

you are making this so difficult

When post is gone, only the joke will remain.

watch out you don't get a clown complex

FWIW, "mauve" was one of the coal-tar dyes developed in the mid-19th century that made eye-wateringly bright clothing fashionable for a few decades.

It was an eye-popping magenta purple

HOWEVER, like most aniline dyes, it faded badly, to a washed-out blue-grey ...

...which was the color ignorant youngsters in the 1920s associated with “mauve”.

(This dress is labeled "mauve" as it is the color the above becomes after fading).

They colored their vision of the past with washed-out pastels that were NOTHING like the eye-popping electric shades the mid-Victorians loved. This 1926 fashion history book by Paul di Giafferi paints a hugely distorted, I would say dishonest picture of the past.

Ever since then this faded bluish lavender and not the original electric eye-watering hot pink-purple is the color associated with the word “mauve”.

Oh! Just like the Victorians did to the Gothic, where actual Gothic cathedrals which had been built to be bright and full of light were portrayed as dark and gloomy places, because that's what happens after a cathedral is filled with candles for several hundred years.

None of these images are loading for me so I'll just be frodo and say to keep your secrets

environmental storytelling

"Fluid as water, brilliant as silver, heavier than lead, mercury spills through a mine worker's fingers."

National Geographic

October 1972

ph. Robert W. Madden

This is probably the most inclusive post ever made on Tumblr

“What country is this about?”

“Yes.”

faded blue house portrait hanging on the wall at the local urgentcare