Cultivating friendships outside of one's immediate age cohort can be both fulfilling and necessary, but there are also risks. I once had somebody in my friend circle who was also part of my mom's friend circle, and neither of us were initially aware that she was also hanging out with the other – she'd entered our respective orbits via totally unrelated vectors, and didn't see fit to clue either of us in because she thought us not knowing was funny as hell.

For clarity, since I'm seeing a lot of folks in the notes getting confused, the "she" in the preceding post is my friend, not my mom.

Let's imagine that this friend's name is Alice.

Alice was friends with my mom. I did not know Alice was friends with my mom.

Alice was friends with me. My mom did not know Alice was friends with me.

Alice didn't meet my mom for any reason that was related to the fact that she was friends with me, nor did she meet me for any reason that was related to the fact that she was friends with me mom – she'd bumped into both members of a parent-child pair under unconnected circumstances, through pure coincidence.

Alice knew exactly what was going on, but chose not to tell anyone because, in her opinion, the fact that neither me nor my mom had figured it out on our own was objectively hilarious.

I get mail

I, a total stranger, was thinking of befriending your kid, but before I did, I thought I'd ask you, are they a boring, selfish jerk?

It's fine if they are, I'm just really trying to find quality people to be friends with, so I thought I'd ask you, is your kid a dick?

Wait, don't get offended! How are people supposed to know whether to hang out with your kid if you can't answer a simple question?!

I, a total stranger, was thinking of inviting myself over to your house for dinner.

But before I do, I wanted to ask, is your cooking insipid, greasy and terrible?

Honestly, it's not problem if it is, I'm just trying to focus on eating food that isn't shit.

Oh, come on, don't be so touchy! How is anyone supposed to know whether to eat the food you cook if you won't tell them whether it sucks?

Never bring a knife to a gun fight.

I don't think TVTropes makes people stupider. I DO think it puts easy-to-use descriptions in front of fools who then just warily search for such tropes as they go and decry any media in which they find them as unoriginal - after all, they've already seen these five tropes have been done before!

Novelty is something humans like, but A) the more and more volume of media humanity generates, the harder it is to find even increasingly specific sub-components of a narrative that haven't been written before at least once and everyone needs to accept that, and B) treating novelty as being a mark of quality rather than just that a sign that you've not personally encountered something before is foolish.

Beware - future media you enjoy will have aspects and takes and twists, tropes, that you've enjoyed before.

Rejoice - future media you enjoy will have aspects and takes and twists, tropes, that you've enjoyed before.

Ironically, there is a TV Tropes page specifically about this. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Administrivia/TropesAreTools

tvtropes: "here's some interesting story elements and ways to find others that share them!"

people who read tvtropes without understanding it: "ew, this story has elements in it!"

TV Tropes can be a fascinating tool, because it discusses tropes bottom-up: here's a trope, here's stories that do that. You can see examples of that trope done well and done badly. Here's a brief history/context of that trope. It's something completely different from how I was taught to examine tropes at school or even during uni years, when you usually do it top-down: here's a story, what kind of tropes does it use?

Except that now, between this and Cinema Sins, people are starting to complain that stories have tropes in them, which is exactly like complaining that your paper is made of plant matter, or your coffee was made using coffee beans.

They also complain -- and I can say this as an Old Person -- about you as a writer using tropes on stories you wrote decades ago where you were the first person to tell that story and the first person to use that trope. If Tolkien was still alive they'd be writing to him huffily about every element of Lord of the Rings and explaining why it was No Longer Original.

Water lore‼️‼️

what the fuck is going on in Kalos

That is not water that is limestone

You want limescale? Come to Copenhagen, where we drink liquid chalk (1 dH = 17.8 ppm, so 330-534 ppm)

A Bird in the Hand

Monster Researcher Eclair (and Andie) study the Steppes clan Centaurs and Mountain Harpies.

So proud of my mother for doing her own research after I sent her that meme. A sign she hung in her car window.

Stay woke

Is this true?

Not only is it true, it gets worse. The Susan G Komen For The Cure Foundation has actually successfully sued “competing” charities, because (paraphrasing) their “message or branding was infringing.”

You read that correctly: they took money that people had donated to cure cancer, and hired attorneys with it, to sue ANOTHER group of people trying to find a cure for cancer, who, in turn, had to us their donated money to hire their own legal counsel to defend themselves.

Yeah signal boost because not enough people know about this and seriously FUCK SUSAN G. KOMEN THEY ARE THE ACTUAL WORST

Some links…

http://thinkbeforeyoupink.org/

http://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/for-the-cure/

http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_the_news/132728/susan_g_komen_foundation_has

(reblogged in honor of my mother, who died of breast cancer, 11/13/97)

Reblog every time I see it. Roughly once a month.

Also please never forget the pink fracking drill bit

that’s right fracking you know, a process using chemicals known to cause cancer that leech into the water supply

http://www.triplepundit.com/2014/10/baker-hughes-fights-breast-cancer-pink-fracking-drill-bits/

http://www.nbcnews.com/health/cancer/pink-drill-bits-bring-complaints-komen-tie-fracking-n223166

It’s that time of year again, please remember Komen is the actual worst

Komen For The Cure is pretty much awful.

My mother died in 1996 from breast cancer. Most cancer charities are scams, in that people throw fancy parties and get rich off them and very little money goes into research or support for patients. Here are some vetted cancer charities that get good scores on Charity Navigator and pay medical expenses or fund research:

Breast Cancer Research Foundation

Cancer Research Institute

Dana-Farber Cancer Institute

63 four star rated cancer charities on charity navigator

Signal boosting this

Reblogging from myself because it’s October now

official boob post

Sophie grifting: hot duchess. seductive investor. mysterious businesswoman.

Eliot grifting: ridiculously competent chef. hot athlete (any sport). heartthrob country musician.

Hardison grifting: overly-confident criminal. assertive FBI agent. heartthrob classical musician.

Nathan Ford grifting: goddamn piece of shit oily slimy scumbag ambulance-chaser untrustworthy con artist with a stupid fucking voice and a silly hat

the show is not doing Nate any favors in the likeability or attractiveness departments here

(Bonus mention: Parker grifting: autism creature)

No wait. I have a graph for this

Every single one of Nate's griftsona's can fit on this. There is variety!!! Just. Very little

I do think it's pretty funny that fanfic premises based on illegitimate kids as an excuse for crossovers over the years have gone from "Mom character CHEATED on Dad character 😡" to "once upon a time, mommy and daddy had a threesome and now we have YOU!" lmaoooo. People don't want marital discord they just want a third parent

This post is "three parents living happily in one house" erasure smh

Only two parents? In *this* economy?

I love this post. I LOVE this post. When I was in Kindergarten, my teacher wanted to show my family a drawing we were supposed to do if our parents or family members (something like that). At that time, I was living in the house with my mother, my aunt, my grandparents, and my dad would visit sometimes on the weekend. As a baby, my mom was involved with a gay man who even after he came out stayed close with the family (there’s tons of pictures of him holding me as a baby). Anyway, they showed the picture I drew, where I told my teacher I had FIVE PARENTS.

I was an only child, but I was never lonely. My aunt was like the cool big sister, my grandpa pushed me on the swing and taught me about yardwork and exposed me to classic musicals, my grandma is the reason I can cook and bake.

It doesn’t matter how they get there: more people in your child’s life is a good thing.

Fast forward to when I am 15. My grandparents adopt me. My aunt legally becomes my sister, her children legally become my niece and nephew, my grandfather, almost near retirement, gets to joke around with his office that he has a teenager at home and she’s accomplishing xyz insert whatever activity they were keeping me busy with. My grandparents wouldn’t have it any other way.

You know who “gave me away” at my wedding? Six different people all in unison agreeing to help me and my husband on our journey.

I had TWO father/daughter dances that night. No one batted an eye.

More people doesn’t make your kid’s life complicated. It makes it better, I promise. It takes a village. Whether that village comes about organically, legally, through marriage, or polyamory.

I didn't initially tap this post as good poly rep (you can tell it was my second thought), but I am always of the opinion that you can have as many parents in your life as are there are people willing to raise you. There is no such thing as 'replacing a rightful role'; there are only people who love you and are willing to put the time in to be there for you, and your willingness to receive them. Likewise, I imagine, come partners and children.

Thank you for adding your experience.

Extremely validated that someone else also assumed there was just a talking computer monitor in their house and they just lived like that

I could think of no better way to share the news than this!

So when I was 17, my cat went missing and I'd given up hope of ever seeing him again.

Until on Monday, 27th of May, 2024, my friend sent me a FB post asking 'isn't that your mother?' about the person named on the microchip.

Here he is! 16 years old, and found safe, twelve whole years after he went missing!

Yesterday (Tuesday the 28th of May, 2024) I went to the rescue that had him, and I reclaimed my boy, renaming him Artie! (He'd originally been called 'Cat' because my mother and I couldn't decide on a name)

He's home safe with me now, currently inhabiting my bathroom and purring up a storm every time someone goes in there!

I'll be doing slow introductions between him and my current cat to give them the best possible chance of living in harmony!

Here's some pictures of Artie once we let him out of the carrier:

Update!

Me and Artie are gonna be in a local newspaper!!!

And he now has a gofundme to help with his medical expenses. The link is here but there's no pressure at all!

He's settling in well and keeps trying to escape the bathroom to go see my other cat, which I can't let him do yet!

Also he nearly had my hand off for his breakfast this morning so his appetite isn't being dampened by him not having any teeth!

NATO Standard Phonetic Alphabet,

The phonetic alphabet was developed as a way to spell things out over radio communications that may be less then ideal, I.E. a lot of static or weak signal. All the words were chosen because they have a distinct sound that is easy to pick out. Military and police communications use the phonetic alphabet heavily and can be helpful to know for talking over CB’s or FRS (walky talky) radios.

I’m sorry guys, i had to

I cannot fucking believe it is the yEAR 2017 GOD DAMMIT

No. Just no. The NATO phonetic alphabet should not be used like this.

are you kidding me this is EXACTLY what the NATO phonetic alphabet should be used for.

I have ADHD so I’m immune to podcast

stealing this from @chefpyro 's tags cause same

always thought that it was crazy other folks with adhd couldn't focus on podcasts when i was totally immune from that issue then quarantine happened, i stopped driving long distances every day, and you will never fucking believe what I learned I can't do

Wait. Do people just sit down and have a podcast without any other sides, like it's a full meal? Podcast is something you ADD to other activity. That's like eating a bowl of cilantro and going "mmm yummy salad"

[Image ID: tags that read: “#I can only be podcasted when I’m being debuffed by a hand activity. /End ID.]

i totally get venting about facing microaggressions in public for using a mobility aid, and i've totally done it myself, but after talking with some disabled people who are afraid to start using canes or rollators or wheelchairs because they're worried about people being assholes to them in public, i want to reiterate that my rollator changed my life and that the amount of harassment i've faced is frankly negligible.

anyway today i was able to take the train to physical therapy by myself, and stopped for coffee on the way back, and nothing bad happened and it was a beautiful day.

other mobility aid users feel free to share your stories about why it's worth it.

yeah people stare at me and once in a blue moon there's some harassment or whatever, but i can zoom around wherever i want in my power chair and it couldn't be more worth it.

once i was transferring from the car to my manual wheelchair using my walker, and a woman walked past moving very slowly with a cane, and she stopped, and she looked at me, and i greeted her, and she said "do you like your wheelchair?" and i was delighted! people rarely actually give me the chance to tell them how much i love my mobility aids. so i told her yeah, it's amazing, it doesn't totally meet my needs but it makes things so much easier, sometimes i can go places and do things i hadn't been able to do for years. the hardest part is when i can't move around because of the way people design and build buildings, or when people park bikes on the sidewalk, that sort of thing.

she said "that's really good to hear. i've been putting it off for a while and this makes me feel better about doing it. i'd LOVE to go places again." and i said "do it! it changes your life, it can be difficult sometimes but that's so small in the face of what it can do for you!"

most of the interactions i have with other people that are specifically about my mobility are positive moments of solidarity. not all, but the vast majority.

it's worth it and i will take every opportunity i can to tell other people that it's worth it. not just wheelchairs, any mobility aid. not a single person deserves to live even a single day putting off their mobility simply out of fear.

Yeah. I get annoyed, sometimes, with the specific design of this particular chair. But my life would suck so much worse if I didn't have it at all.

The best is when I'm out in public, and babies in strollers see me. They're fascinated by the thing that rolls by itself.

Also, I can do "spinnies" in it, whenever I want. And going down long, winding, ramps is a lot of fun.

Also, it's a positive feedback loop: the more people who are proud of their mobility aides, and go out in public using them, the more normalized it will be. And the less acceptable microaggressions will be.

Actually, let me add something to this post. Worth noting: I normally do not use or need mobility aids, and I'm thirty three and look younger than that. But I do have a story that might be relevant here.

Back in November I was traveling for a meeting to my childhood city, and I got some pretty upsetting news. Worse, I had worn shoes I didn't wear every day at the time, and they had ripped some fairly nasty chafing sores in my feet, even with colloidal bandages everywhere. I wasn't really feeling okay enough to go to the meeting without crying in public in front of strangers I was trying to befriend, but I also didn't want to sit in the AirBNB with my coworkers and sob either, you know? I hate being vulnerable in public and this particular thing just made me feel insane and heartbroken and completely incompetent.

So I thought okay. I'm gonna go to a beloved museum. But I can't stand and walk right now. Everything hurts, taking a step hurts, because these chafing sores make wearing shoes really painful. There's no way I can go through a whole museum without making everything worse and winding up sobbing in a corner exactly like I don't want to do.

But museums rent wheelchairs. This one, I happened to know, would check one out to you for the day for free, as long as you showed the front desk your driver's license. And... well, I have been involved in disability advocacy for long enough that I would have told my friends to borrow a chair, right, because temporary disability from injury is still real disability. So I swallowed my anxiety and I limped up to the front desk when I came in, and I asked to borrow a wheelchair. (I don't know how visibly I was limping, but I would have been trying to minimize that, too.)

They just smiled, asked for my license, and then gave me one just like that. I tucked my purse in next to me, sat down, and wheeled myself off to go see the exhibits. No comment, no inquiry, not even a funny look.

I got to see the whole museum and take my mind off everything I was hurting emotionally from, without having to hurt anything more physically. It wasn't an empty museum, either—this one is a big museum, it's never empty—but no one gave me a second glance. It was good to use some muscles and skin that weren't sore, too, and I used up a lot less of my very limited ability to cope while also distracting myself a bit from how bad I felt. And I got to use a resource that exists to help people who need help, which means I got to be a number that will help justify the museum's wheelchair rental policy and its decisions to put copies of its display materials low enough to be used by other short patrons: other people using mobility devices, children, little people, all kinds of folks. It wound up being a sorely needed day away from my problems.

If you're scared about using a device full time, try practicing using one part time. Look into borrowing one next time you want to go to a museum or a zoo or a mall and just try it out. See how people actually treat you. Most of them are just going to mind their own business, same as anywhere else, and who knows? You might find out that there's a lot less judgement than you think.

lots of stories about being possessed by demons and forced to do evil things against your will, not many about being possessed by angels and forced to do good things against your will

I think you could actually write an incredible horror story about this actually

if you get possessed by a demon and start doing evil things, everyone’s immediately like “oh no this isn’t like you, this is so sinister, we must put a stop to this and restore your free will” but if you get possessed by an angel* who’s going to stop you? who’s going to want to stop you? your friends are either going to approve or they’re going to start resenting you and cutting ties…

and I specifically don’t mean this happening to an originally evil or villainous character, just like, a normal person with an average degree of benevolence and selfishness, succumbing to a gradually escalating series of good deeds that offer no pleasure or relief that they never would have chosen

I really hate to do this to you, but I really do think this could be. a kink thing....

I have neutral news about literally anything

The thing is, an angel never would force a person to do things against their will, even if they found themselves possessing a person for some reason. Forcing unwanted actions upon a person (breach of consent) is an evil act, in and of itself. An angel would likely attempt to persuade the person they're possessing to do good, but they wouldn't force them.

See now but that’s stupid. Humans recognize “good”/not evil violations of consent all the time. We snatch poison out of the mouths of children, pull people away from ledges, and overpower violent attackers all the time and consider that to be “good”. We apply coercion on a societal level all the time and, usually, ascribe “goodness” to it when it seems to serve a greater good (ex. taxes, food safety regulations). So either breaching consent is always inherently evil and the concept of a greater good is invalid (in which case taxing the rich or taking poison from a child are wicked acts) or breaching consent is a lesser evil than allowing greater harm to happen (such as the child dying) or enabling more important good (ex the maintenance of roads).

If we define an angel as cosmic force for the nebulous concept of “good”, then it’s either wholly incapable of any degree or moment of wickedness, however small, and therefore completely useless, or it’s able to assess a relative value to good and evil acts and may do so on a system not immediately apparent or relatable to humans.

"I laugh when I look at this shot - one in a million chance of capturing the precise moment when these birds are locked in eye to eye!

Out in my boat fishing one morning, I noticed that an eagle was being harassed by a blue jay on the shoreline next to my cabin. The blue jay’s relentless attacks were only mildly irritating to the eagle. The big bird’s facial expression was one of pure disdain. Jays are fiercely territorial - the eagle had perched near the jay’s nest and the jay was determined to protect its young.

My boat floated closer and closer to the skirmish and I knew that I might be able to capture a special moment if I just kept shooting. I love the image for so many reasons. The eagle is protecting its most valuable secret weapon - its eyes - by sliding a thin membrane over its eye just as the jay flies by. The jay is executing a ninja move as it makes its escape. And I love the way the image illustrates the sheer contrast in size between the enormity of the eagle’s body and the small silhouette of the blue jay.

I’ll always be thankful that I was in the right spot at the right time."

📸Ken Wiele

He looks like he just spilled something

Cat loaf

Another deep sea mermaid with a creative body plan: the stoplight loosejaw. This dragonfish has unfolding jaws that allow it to swallow slippery, oversize prey, though it prefers to feast on copepod plankton, which power its unusual bioluminescence.

Red light disappears in the depths, but the mermaid still sees what is illuminated, unknowing, in front of its jaws. Blue light to lure prey in, red to signal its impending death.

A truly gorgeous creature!