Me: I’m going to be SO productive today

Also me: *dissociates for five hours*

brain: sad

me: wait what why? everything is fine right n-

brain: sad and gUILTY

it’s 1 am and no one would believe me if i didn’t record it

we really are living in the darkest timeline

Have you ever seen something so cursed

I cannot stop laughing

I love being in college because there are no actual adults around so everyone is just going around bullshitting their way through basic tasks. Like I can be like “I think I got better from my cold because I ate an orange yesterday” and everyone is like “Yeah makes sense” and somebody could just be like “I’m gonna put my pillow in the washing machine to clean it” and everyone’s like “Sounds like a great idea John”

WARNING: THE INCREDIBLES 2  IS NOT EPILEPSY SAFE.

This is not a joke. I was at a first-night showing tonight, and my immediate thought was how disasterously unsafe this movie is for my photosensitive epilepic friends. @markingatlightspeed I’m tagging you with this specifically because I feel that this would be extremely dangerous for you to watch. There are multiple scenes in this movie with full-screen, black-and-white flashing strobe effects. They all happen without warning, and last anywhere between a few seconds to more than two minutes. In a darkened movie theater, this means the likelihood of a seizure could be VERY HIGH if you are sensitive to these effects. If you have photosensitive epilepsy or another disorder that is triggered by strobe lights, I would highly recommend you DO NOT SEE THE INCREDIBLES 2 IN THEATERS. Wait until the movie’s released on digital/Bluray, and you can watch it in a fully-lit room, with someone with you who will be able to help if the strobe effects do trigger a seizure. Please stay safe.

@whatbigotspost Here’s an extended post about The Incredibles 2

Thank you!

You know what the Green Heron is basically the best heron because it is like 90% neck so when it is all folded down it looks like a giant head with wings and legs

but then suddenly ZOOP

fucking green herrons

What the fuck

In case you need proof that animals can lie.

Started off weak but ended strong

ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.

whenever i post this it works  reblog if u want to feel good things & the universe will bring u something sweet 

Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow

this is stomp dog it shows up to stomp away sadness

You’ve heard of the Roaring 20s........

now get ready for the Screaming 20s - coming to a decade near you in 2020

is it too early or can we start screaming now

There’s actually a fair deal of overlap between cultural decades.  So not only is it acceptable to start screaming now, we can keep screaming up to the mid 30′s.

this hit me like a bus

I’ll reblog it till my fingers bleed

I feel quite ashamed now

Chicken Shaming

Did I ever tell you guys the story of how I got a letter from President Obama on my 13th birthday?

No, please share

Okay, so when Jewish boys/girls turn thirteen, they have a ceremony called a bar/bat mitzvah. It’s a way to symbolize that we have become a young man/young woman, and it’s a big rite of passage for us.

At the time of my bat mitzvah, my uncle, who serves in the navy, had a job at the white house (one time he gave me and my family a tour, but that’s a story for another day). So, he worked at the white house, and it’s not like he was hanging out with the president all the time or anything spectacular, but he did know my uncle by his first name, so that was cool and important.

Anyways, a little while after my bat mitzvah and my 13th birthday, I received this in the mail:

At first I was already like, “whaaa??” My parents didn’t seem to know what it was about either. So I opened it, and, lo and behold:

along with:

So…yeah. My uncle was able to get the former president of the united states to send me a letter congratulating me on my bat mitzvah when I turned 13. Hope you enjoyed my story!

This is officially the Lucky Obama Birthday post, reblog and you’ll get a special present on your next birthday