Finally Got Back To Reading

do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"

do yoo evew say someting and den tink “wow dis isn’t even a bit!! im just wike dis UwU”

This post has been UwU-ified!

i feel dirty after reading that

do yoo need a scwubby wubby? OwO

i think i do need a scwubby wubby to be honest but not from you

When is it my turn to be happy.

so when food is too salty we might say "打死卖盐的" basically meaning "did you beat the salt merchant to death" but one time in an attempt to be a little polite and a little funny to the chef (my mother) i said "……是不是又跟卖盐的有矛盾了" meaning "are you... having a dispute with the salt merchant again" and now it's a whole thing in my family

anyway point being there has been another altercation with the salt merchant

My mom accidentally joined a grieving support group (long story, she's not grieving tho) and she's missing it this week while visiting me and she's VERY concerned that Lorraine, who very kindly offered to bring a baked good like mom usually would, will NOT bring the correct kind of dessert, she says citrus tarts aren't "griefy" enough

ok so the way my mom accidentally joined a grieving support group when she's not grieving is this:

She's Catholic and has two churches. One is her Real Church but it's far from her house and tbh all the nice priests have died and the new priests are either lackluster or extremely conservative so sometimes she goes to the Other Church which is closer and more liberal but which she won't join permanently because she doesn't want to "cede the territory" of her Real Church to the conservatives (this is all backstory for flavor don't worry about it). Other Church once announced they were looking for volunteers for, like, a grief squad? Basically if someone was having a funeral but no one showed up to attend, the church would call in the squad and they'd mourn for the dead person and pray (which is important for Catholics because we believe you need that oomph to actually get to Heaven, don't worry about it). Anyway mom thought that was a nice concept so the next time she went back to Real Church she asked the head usher if they wanted to put together a similar squad there. The usher was like, oh we have one of those! It's every Wednesday night, you should join.

The miscommunication: the usher didn't understand the purpose of the squad mom was describing, just heard "grieving and mourning" and went to the next closest thing. Because my mom showed up to the Wednesday meeting and discovered a group of widows and widowers who are there to, like, discuss their own losses?

Why didn't my mom just leave when she realized the mistake? Great question. She had baked a cake (chocolate) thinking that would be appreciated (apparently funerals without real mourners are very short and boring) and she didn't want it to go to waste.

She stayed in the support group!! And has been attending! For a full YEAR.

She explained to the group leader that she isn't a widow and doesn't have anyone to grieve but all they said was "well everyone's lost somebody. Or will." So now my mom goes to the weekly meeting with her baked goods because she 1) doesn't want to be rude and leave the group and 2) apparently grieving people are the Most happy to get cookies so she gets to practice all these bonkers recipes shes wanted to try.

In mom's opinion the best kinds of dessert for grief is chocolate and caramel, or any kind of crunchy candy confection. Lemon and cream is "not mournful enough." She's absolutely wild I love her

not to enforce gender roles but a computer should NOT fucking have apps okay. if I wanted an app I'd go on my phone my laptop is for Programs. I mean this.

bringing the ancient meme back

something important to remember is that there's always time. if you lost many years to abuse or mental illness, you will get a chance to live life on your terms. there is no limit on the age you have to be to achieve goals. you can go back to school at 30, or switch careers at 40. you can start new hobbies at any age. there is no cut off age for being happy and content. if you're trapped right now, you will get the opportunity to become who you want to be.

the idea that your friends won't like you if you're too weird is wrong for example one time I told a friend whenever I was losing my mind I laid down on the floor under my desk and stared at it until I was better and next time she visited me she taped a bag of salami snacks to the underside of my desk with a message saying "going insane all by yourself, handsome?" which I only saw months later when I had a breakdown. that's friendship.

something charmingly twentieth century about this

im so done with seeing articles about kids and screen time that doesnt mention parent behaviors even once. “kids are always on their phones” so are the parents! which the kids look to for how they should behave! ipad babies didn’t chose to only play on their ipads, thats what their parents gave them!

an anecdotal example: when i was a kid, all my parents would do in their minimal free time was watch tv and then they would be surprised when in my sister and i’s minimal free time we would also only watch tv/play video games. they scolded us for not reading books, but they never read books. they scolded us for not going outside but they never went outside.

“kids are always on their damn phones” my mom is in her 60s and opens up candy crush anytime she’s sitting — it isnt just the kids

idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

downside: going to have to include a picture of the Giza pyramids in the slides for the lecture upside: i get to give people a crash course in why perspective matters in two frames, because

followed by

is such a funny sequence

i find most people who haven't seen it in person don't know that cairo is RIGHT THERE

I loved these perspectives so I took some of my own when I was in Cairo and yeah, they're literally just. Right there. Pass em on your way to work, nbd

No, y'all don't even understand.

There is literally a Pizza Hut across the street from the pyramids.

That Pizza Hut among other things is why Egyptologists laugh their asses off when we see another piece of media where the protagonists get "lost in the desert near the pyramids", because it's like... just turn around my dudes you're only a seven min walk away from the nearest fastfood shop

Yall don't know how much I adore all of this

i was trying to collect more shitty ms paint doodles we all use and vibe with and then i realize i also have ms paint and can just MAKE some 

make up context for this in the notes

viciously queer dialect

those two always doing too damn much smh