Not Today

au where everything is the same except sirius black is played by jonathan van ness from queer eye

Harry: Wait, so Pettigrew actually betrayed my parents?

Sirius:

I am HERE for this.

Sirius escapes Azkaban and is united with Harry and joins the Order:

Sirius: My cousin Bellatrix?

Someone mentions Severus Snape at all:

depression: hey no one truly loves you and nothing you do will ever matter

me, doing a test on what jelly bean I’d be while drinking stale pepsi out of a mug: at least im not fucking licorice flavor god could you imagine

I was joining random dating sites and i came across one called “Top Tier” which was apparently only for very rich people with high IQs. Only, there was no vetting process so i figured it was just for pompous assholes who thought they were top tier.

I signed up to see what it was like. The color scheme of the site was yellow on black. You had to select one of three options indicating if you were single or not. I don’t remember what the first two were, but the third one was, “you can go to hell,” which meant that for whichever reason, you weren’t interested in anyone. If you chose this option you couldn’t even search the site, so I backed up and chose a different option.

I found Uma Thurman on the site and jokingly sent her a date request, but she actually accepted and now I had a date with her set for tomorrow evening. I was in a panic because I didn’t want to date Uma Thurman. In the dream, she was known for being mean. I was still stressing about how I was gonna break this date, when I woke up.

again, I really need to read the usernames on this fucking site

Constantly torn between “I can’t ask for help bc then I’m annoying and everyone will be mad” and “I must ask for help at every possible stage because I might do it wrong and then everyone will be mad” ya feel

HOLY SHIT U PUT IT IN WORDS

IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST, JUST REMEMBER THAT I HANDLE ME AT MY WORST AND THAT MAKES ME STRONGER THAN YOU

Oh my goodness this makes me feel powerful I hadn’t even thought of it like this.

I just died, this killed me

oh lord I CAN NEVER FIND THSI WHEN I WANT IT and here it is like a gift

we should make fun of americans more. why dont their shops include tax in the price tag. like how much does this item cost? its a surprise :)

sideways scene (x)

“have you met my friend daniel he walks like this”

IM DYING

WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

The way they all fell down.

“WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WINDOW?”

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life

do you ever get mad at yourself because youre not even good at the things you thought you were good at

you absolute fuckers i made this post fuckifn 5 years ago bc i spilled mac on my favorite shirt at the time n every day. every fucking day notifications spill in abt people being sad and thinking theyre not enough. listen. i made this post when i was 13 and spilling mac n cheese on my shirt. mayb right now u are 13 year old me right now, and thats okay, but absorbing these messages isnt gonna help u. u can get good n be good and telling yourself otherwise only hurts yourself and your mental health progress. be kind and good to yourself. we’ll all spill mac. but sometimes u just gotta change yr shirt and make a new bowl. its okay.

character development

Journal comic.

This needs about 100,000 more notes.

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