Sugardaddy/sugarbaby relationship but the one with money is an annoying 23 year old who like, made a successful app in college or something, and the poor one is a 40-something single dad with medical debt who was just 'made redundant' at his soul-killing job. Mmmmm-hmmmm.... Thinking about this.

look, guys, this may seem ironic coming from a person with Verbose Disease, but I'm about to tell you the secret to winning social media: shutting the fuck up. you have a controversial discourse opinion? shut the fuck up and no one will know. can't participate in a boycott for various reasons? shut the fuck up and no one will know. you think or do something Problematic that has no bearing on anyone but yourself? shut the fuck up and no one will know. you haven't been keeping up on a pressing social issue? shut the fuck up and no one will know. your mind is a wonderful place where you can have all the bad takes in the world and they're all perfectly insulated from everyone and everything unless you try to excise them on a grand scale. you can take the mental L all by yourself without using a public platform as a confession booth and face zero repercussions and it'll be just fine. open up a damn diary and explain yourself there.

Couples Shit with Kyle Garrick:

Being friends with Kyle long before you two began a relationship. In fact, when he came home from a fairly long deployment and you got a chance to see him, you went to give him a hug. Next thing you know, you two were kissing. You've been together ever since.

Similarly, the first time you two had sex was a spur-of-the-moment thing. It was a reassuring, very intimate moment for you both and was also the one time when you two weren't overly busy and stressed with your lives and could actually afford to spend time with each other.

Having more makeout sessions than you can count because you are obsessed with Kyle's lips. Obsessed. His lips are full, soft as all hell, and you love them everywhere on your body.

Kyle is much more sentimental than he lets on. You gift him something, he will hold on to it until he can't anymore.

You two rarely, if ever, call each other by name. For instance, on your end it's always, "Hey, handsome," and on Kyle's end, it's "Hey, gorgeous." Hell, even Kyle's name in your phone is "Handsome" with the 💋 emoji. You know shit's serious if first names get used. Of course, you've used this to your advantage to prank him on more than one occasion.

Kyle not realizing he has so many damn hats until you start wearing them when you sometimes run quick errands. When you get home, you just take them off wherever. He goes back to collect them later and even he's put off by how many hats he has. Damn, is he really more like the Cap'n than he thought?

Flirting. A lot of flirting. Especially through text. Especially using emojis. Especially when Kyle's trolling you.

Being in competition with each other because it's fun. And sexy. And because Kyle looks so hot when he gets competitive and his nostrils flare up. Oh, you hit your 10,000-step mark today? Well, Kyle hit... 10,001. Nice try, darling. Oh, wait, you've declared Uno, Kyle? Jokes on you because here's a Draw 4 card! HA.

The real trials of your relationship revolving around his deployments. Kyle is as inquisitive and questioning as he is a good soldier and when he comes home, he... has his moments. You're likely to be met with an irritable lover the longer the deployment and so you leave Kyle to his devices to process everything. Sometimes he'll talk about it. Sometimes. Other times, he won't let you leave him. He'll just pull you into his arms and hold you because he needs that reassurance again.

You and Kyle ragging on each other about your taste in movies. So you compromise. He gets to watch a favorite movie of yours and you get to watch one of his. Turns out that Kyle loves horror movies, so it's a win-win for him. He gets to enjoy a good movie and you clinging to him for dear life when it gets scary.

Idiot jerkface: Have you gotten the surgery?

Me, a trans woman who has received a phalloplasty to gain a second fully functional penis and now refers to myself exclusively as Ms. Double-Barrelled Johnson: Yes

I’ve said it before but this would 100% be it for me if I was in the chunin exams. Forget the curse mark or the two boys with literal demons inside them like the minute I saw bugs crawl out of shino’s skin I would decide that the ninja lifestyle just isn’t for me.

Megan Thee Stallion - Boa References

Last week I accidentally took an edible at 10x my usual dose. I say “accidentally” but it was really more of a “my friend held it out to my face and I impulsively swallowed it like a python”, which was technically on purpose but still an accident in that my squamate instincts acted faster than my ability to assess the situation and ask myself if I really wanted to get Atreides high or not.

Anyway. I was painting the wall when it hit. My friend heard me make a noise and asked what was wrong—I explained that I had just fallen through several portals. I realized that painting the wall fulfilled my entire hierarchy of needs, and was absolutely sure that I was on track to escaping the cycle of samsara if I just kept at it a little longer. I was thwarted on my journey towards nirvana only by the fact that I ran out of paint.

Seeking a surrogate act of humble service through which I might be redeemed and made human, I turned to unwashed dishes in the sink and took up the holy weapon of the sponge. I was partway through cleaning the blender when it REALLY hit.

You ever clean a blender? It’s a shockingly intimate act. They are complex tools. One of the most complicated denizens of the kitchen. Glass and steel and rubber and plastic. Fuck! They’ve got gaskets. You can’t just scrub ‘em and rinse them down like any other piece of shit dish. You’ve got to dissemble them piece by piece, groove by sensitive groove, taking care to lavish the spinning blades with cautious attention. There’s something sensual about it. Something strangely vulnerable.

As I stood there, turning the pieces over in my hands, I thought about all the things we ask of blenders. They don’t have an easy job. They are hard laborers taking on a thankless task. I have used them so roughly in my haste for high-density smoothies, pushing them to their limits and occasionally breaking them. I remembered the smell of acrid smoke and decaying rubber that filled the kitchen in the break room the last time I tried to make a smoothie at work—the motor overtaxed and melted, the gasket cracked and brittle. Strawberry slurry leaked out of it like the blood of a slain animal.

Was this blender built to last? Or was it doomed to an early grave in some distant landfill by the genetic disorder of planned obsolescence? I didn’t know, and was far too high to make an educated guess. But I knew that whatever care and tenderness and empathy I put into it, the more respect for the partnership of man and machine, the better it would perform for me.

This thought filled me with a surge of affection. However long its lifespan, I wanted it to be filled with dignity and love and understanding. I thought: I bet no one has hugged this blender before. And so I lifted it from its base.

A blender is roughly the size and shape of a human baby. Cradling one in your arms satisfies a primal need. A month ago I was permitted to hold an infant for the first time in my life, an experience which was physically and psychologically healing. I felt an echo of that satisfaction holding my friend the blender, and the thought of parting with it felt even more ridiculous than bringing it with me to hang out on my friend’s bed.

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Closest match: Magallana gigas genome assembly, chromosome: 2 Common name: Pacific Oyster

(image source)

Her outfit was so cute..

biblical sites that you may read until they start to read you back: elijah and elisha (1 kngs 19, their beginning; 2 kngs 2, their end); david, the lover god never gets over (1 sam 19); saul, wrecked with grief, drags samuel's ghost from sheol (1 sam 28); the mothers (but especially hagar, the slave who spits at her captor's god, gen 16; gen 21); god forcing the israelites to drink poison (exod 32); god's erotica (song); god fucking moses (exod 33:17–23); god fucking saul (1 sam 31); the three resurrections, the first two of which are haptic, body-on-body, crawling on floorboard affairs (elijah's, 1 kngs 17; elisha's, 2 kngs 4 and 2 kngs 13); god wrestling men and throwing cheap shots (gen 32); god's first question to his clay- and rib-creation ('where are you,' gen 3:9); the red cow sacrifice, which cleanses one body by ruining another (num 19); judges 19, to which no words can be attached; god's fingering-as-theology (gen 2, exod 24, dan 5); abraham sacrificing isaac (and he does do just that, gen 22); the two psalms that do not end in resolution with god (88, 39); and god's steadfast love—his ḥesed—quiet and enduring (e.g. joel 2:25)

The situation in the Jabalia refugee camp in north Gaza needs attention!

Not only did Israel declare that their operations in the north had ended, only for them to return in full force, but Israel's nonstop strikes are targeting a densely populated area as well as invading UNRWA schools.

Each of these UNRWA schools has been sheltering about 10,000 people. Six of these schools are being directly targeted right now and reports are saying that tanks are approaching the entrance of these schools.

Also, if you know anything about refugee camps you know how houses are almost on top of each other with barely any space and alleyways are so narrow sometimes only allowing one person to pass through at a time. This can paint a picture of the amount of destruction and death that will be caused by Israel's invasion and strikes of the Jabalia refugee camp.

As a reminder there are no fully functioning hospitals in the area and the wounded are expected to die as a result of not only lack of medical support but also because Israel makes it impossible for ambulances or people to get to the wounded by targeting the ways leading up to them.

Everything I mentioned above has been something we have at some point screamed about during the past months and in fact the past years. None of this is a new tactic or approach by Israel. Yet, this continues to happen because despite its obvious crimes, Israel is allowed to enact with complete impunity. We were worried about allowing Israel to set a precedent, but what does it tell you now that Israel had repeated the same heinous crimes over and over again while they're being televised?

Keep talking about Gaza, from Jabalia to Rafah.

my argument for intelligent design? the existence of the clitoris duh

imagine how it is to touch the stove.

imagine how it is to touch the stove.

racists getting mad in the notes on this cute video I posted now lmao. the reason I posted it to begin with is because I was seeing too many posts about Palestine where people were talking about Palestinians as if they are a political problem to be solved and not human beings.

Of course when it comes to Palestinians who simply trying to enjoy moments of happiness they often get judged and disrespected for it!!! anyways here's the full song that they’re singing. it's a traditional folk song sung by the beloved Palestinian singer-songwriter Rim Banna, known as the voice of Palestine. (Rest in peace). her music truly captured the spirit and resilience of Palestine. May her legacy continue to inspire and resonate with people around the world. ✌🏼🖤❤️🤍💚

original post date: May 18, 2021

joy is also a form of resistance

we really went from "women and girls can do anything" to im just a girl i only do girl math im a passenger princess i dont drive i dont eat i just do haha girl dinner im so sillyyyy i wear makeup bc i want to i also try and define all women into categories that are marketable omg what if we were just girls and we were so useless and helpless

also if anyone wants to do some reading about this, it's a genuine phenomenon that occurs within most counter cultures. the main hegemony (capitalism) absorbs any part of the movement, and makes it something that can't cause harm to the existing power.

so yes, these quips start off as jokes, but if jokes weren't impactful then we wouldn't have spent so much time criminializing comedians, historically.

louis althusser came up with the idea of ideological state apparatuses, and there's an explanation of it here. it shows how we are systematically programmed through multiple facets of our everyday life.

these are my own notes about hegemonies

theres also this amazing excerpt from this pdf about counter culture being absorbed back into the dominant culture, which is capitalism

I'd also like to point out that interpellation is why all of those debates about who is "punk" or not are so futile. Because "punk" has long since become just another market segment.

such a good boi