I am so GOOD at procastinating.

John Harvey

You ever meet a kid so shitty you're immediately like "I want to adopt you as my own so I can instill into you the values of dignity and compassion and respect for self and others that your guardians have so obviously neglected, so that you may escape the unhappy future that lies ahead of you with all the smoldering ashes of wasted potential" but also, like. I punt you like a football

Drop the vape u little turd I'm gonna take an active interest in your passions and buy u pants that fit. When was your last dentist appointment. U wanna go to summer camp

and then you didn't

Did u want me to kidnap a child

My friends if you feel this way and are an adult with a way to support yourself and a child, take a moment to consider

Literally the first thing that went to my mind

Lucy: I’m all for your boyfriend staying the night but give me a heads up next time yeah? Y/N: Uh ok? but he hasn’t slept over yet. Lucy: 😐

death god yb is much hornier than regular yb, and considerably more deluded about his relationship with y/n

(your boyfriend belongs to @invertedmindinc , hades and persephone au by me)

Look i tried to laugh it off, but I haven’t stopped thinking about this message because… my cat literally isn’t green

like where is the green

Oh Christ

This is the color your cat is

colors i eyedropped directly from op's cat

I drew a tree using only colours eyedropped from OP's cat.

every time i see this post all i see is some green alien kitty with antennae so i had to draw it

I originally thought those were supposed to be mushrooms, implying that this cat is moldy

Moldy forest cat

that's not a cat that's a knock off

@devourer-of-shredded-cheese

in skyrim you can ride a bee

in real life you can ride a bee

dont do this here

Enemies to lovers romance is the journey from sweetheart (derogatory) to sweetheart (affectionate)

ways to get comfortable using they/them pronouns

@palindrome-k your TAGS

I just heard my mom tell my brother, “when you die, you will go outside and garden until your father says you’re done” and it took me a second to realize that my brother was playing a videogame and this was not a theological discussion.

Purgatory

The Garden of Death

Watercolor and gouache by Hugo Simberg, 1896

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS

DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????

That last fatal scream tho

THE TERROR IN HIS SCREAM OH GOSH

i’m crying

WAAA-

I will always reblog this on the off chance some other poor soul has been searching for it

IT’S BACK

HOYL SHIT ITS B A CK

IT’S BACK?? ON MY DASH?

re-blogging again xD

what was that we were just saying about still having posts circulating from ridiculous numbers of years ago? 😂

I reblogged this last month, tagged it, and said “might as well see if it works.” I used this video as a reference to find all the forms that i needed (which is A LOT, especially if you’re a dependent) and sent them through the mail, not really allowing myself to hope.

dude.

$2,714 of medical debt from my top surgery - gone. im shaking this was such a weight on me for 2 years and it fucking worked. what the fuck.

there's actually only 2 genders - creep and weirdo

what about the 3rd gender, freak?

obsessed with this reply because i'll never know if you were suggesting a third option or calling me a freak for this post and i don't want to because its so much funnier that way

“His favorite spot since he was a baby.” 

(Source)

i don know shit yall!!!! im jus out here