This website is complete shit

“the everything”

What was your first source of portable music? Walkman? CD player with headphones? MP3 Player? iPod? Phone? 

my fucking god these tags aged me 50 years

they’re literally the size of a CD, hen. you can still buy them

yeah im a dilf (disgusting insane little freak)

I need enrichment. Somebody roll a pumpkin filled with ground beef and pictures of Pedro Pascal into my enclosure.

sorry but did I ghost write this? Just like, a funnier version of my thoughts put into words? Cause yes. This.

why are you calling him green shrek?? shrek is already green??

No one is regular, everyone is extraordinary

Fixed

This post is a train wreck.

Why do you need to put ordinary? Shouldn’t it just be the words without the adjective?

How many people’s most beloved childhood stuffed animals are actually teddy bears, like I feel like that’s a thing someone made up. Reblog this and put what your longest owned and/or favorite stuffed animal as a child was in the tags, inquiring minds want to know

favorite kind of tweets that make me love people a little more

Tips for new Tumblr users:

* Liking posts is a good way to bookmark them to find later

* Do not reblog anything between the hours of midnight and dawn or you might summon the Beast

* You can use your queue to post on a schedule even when you're offline, which is very handy

* Every year on the anniversary of Dashcon staff will pick one user at random and kill them

* You can use simple HTML to put clickable links in your bio

* If you die on Tumblr, you die in real life

did it suddenly get HOT because i’m feeling the heat

hey everyone, great news! starting monday we're relaxing our don't-piss-in-the-pool requirements and no longer mandating that swimmers control their bladders while in the water. of course if you're more comfortable not pissing in the pool, you may continue to do so - everyone should make the pee decision that feels safest for them and their family. please respect everyone's choice about where to pee. thanks 😊

fantastic update, our restaurant has lifted its smoking ban and is now smoking-optional. you may continue to not smoke inside if you'd prefer, but we're excited to now offer our guests the freedom to make everyone else in this enclosed airspace inhale whatever particulates they'd like to release via combustion. if you have like some kind of health problem or whatever, you are totally welcome to choose not to smoke. we're very excited to be getting back to normal!

so the academy is reviewing whether or not to remove Will Smith’s award and here are some interesting tweets about that :)

the members teasing jungkook about his popped button during fake love lmaoo 😆(trans. cr. @taee, joonstudio, ryuminating and jjk_times)

hes just gorgeous