This is such a homophonic tweet

???? How?????? Is this a joke reblog????

So did we ever talk about Anakin's aside in the Shakespeare adaptation of RoTS, or...?

Today I learned 3D animation is a horror show outside the camera's field of view.

There is now a spiritual successor to this nightmare fuel...

I think we can update the expression "you don't want to know how the sausage gets made" to "you don't want to see the reverse perspective of 3D animation."

Oh god, what if they animated sausage making?

Why did someone die in my inbox

The classic plot themes:

Man vs technology

Man vs man

Man vs telephone

Ah yes, the telephone – my one true foe.

Mine was the modem. 56k was a lie! Happy to even get 28.8k most of the time. (But over 3 miles from the CO, I guess it was to be expected)

What about printers? Those are far more fundamental a foe than telephones ever were.

no, actually, trying to position your disgust/annoyance with "stereotypical" trans women as political righteousness doesnt make me want to abandon them it makes me suspicious of you

i love harsh noise girls i love blahaj girls i love video game dev girls i love trans girls and i refuse to tear them down

credit scores are like astrology for capitalists

Y’all I can’t believe the “whistleblower assassination” and “literally falling apart in the sky” company is being represented by a man named Rich White

You could not call a character this in a movie because everyone would say “that’s not realistic” and yet!

girlie that's not a random headache u are dehydrated malnourished over caffeinated over stressed and sleep deprived

@deepchrome

Speaking of therapy, I say, as though we're old friends, and you're not a stranger trapped in this metaphorical elevator with me and you can hear the suspension wires starting to fray.

I've been doing a lot of work recently that's focused on imposter syndrome and the feeling that no matter how well or how much I do, I'm not good enough. That I'm somehow tricking everyone into thinking my work is actually good.

Some days it's a minor niggle in my head that I can gentle and soothe with logic and affirmations. Or smother, depending on the mood. Other times it's loud and all-consuming and the mental anguish it causes me is so real I can feel it twitching in my muscles. This desperate fight-or-flight instinct with nowhere to go and nothing to fight but myself.

Anyway, because I'm several types of Mentally Unwell™, I was switching between workshop sheets ahead of next week. Filling in different forms. (Trying to get a good grade in therapy) And I got my "recognize your harmful ADHD coping mechanisms" worksheet mixed in with the "you're not actually lying to people, you just feel like you are because your brain is full of weasels" worksheet, and seeing them side by side made something go topsy turvy in my head, and I just had to sit and breathe for a couple of minutes until the urge to scream passed. Because it clicked, it all suddenly clicked.

The reason the imposter syndrome workshops and therapy sessions aren't sticking was because I do routinely trick people into thinking I'm someone I'm not.

Because I'm masking my ADHD for their convenience.

I've always known there was something wrong with me. My neurotypical peers made it abundantly clear I didn't fit in or was failing in some way I couldn't see nor remedy, no matter how hard I tried.

So I compressed myself into a workaholic box of hyper-competence in the hopes they'd stop noticing the flaws and exploit like me instead. And then subsequently lived with the daily fear that if they looked too close, they'd realize I'm a monumental fuck up with enough personal baggage to block the Suez Canal.

If you ever need someone to burn themselves to ashes for your comfort and convenience, I'm your gal.

Or I used to. Until I had a bit of a breakdown, and the rubber band holding my brain together snapped and pinged off into the stratosphere, never to be seen again.

Unfortunately, the trauma of living like that didn't also fuck off and instead left a gaping maw where my personality ought to be, so now I get to deal with that aftermath.

And it's that aftermath that's affecting the imposter syndrome shit. Because yes, I am hyper-competent and good at what I do-- but it doesn't feel real because that is how I mask.

And the truly frustrating thing is I am good at what I do. I am not pretending. I worked hard to be good at this. It just feels like I'm dicking around because 90% of my personality turns out to be trauma masquerading as humor in a trenchcoat, and having people genuinely like something weird I'm doing is so foreign my brain has decided it's just another form of masking.

I'm pretending to be a good author so people will think I'm a good author, and my brain thinks we are in Danger of being found out. We are in Danger, and writing is Dangerous because then people will know I'm Weird and not whatever palatable version I've presented myself as for their NT sensibilities.

Like the neurotic vampire with a raging praise kink wasn't an obvious giveaway.

Anyway. I got nothing else. Thanks for listening.

I'm going to go be very normal in another room and not stare into the abyss of my own soul for a bit.

I brought this post up with my ADHD therapist today (who also has ADHD), and she got so still that I thought our Zoom call had frozen.

Turns out she just needed to stare into her soul for a bit and it looked like this:

Every so often, I see notes from this post go past in my activity feed, and the tags really do look like a mass of people screaming as the suspension wires holding up the metaphorical elevator snap and we all plunge into the abyss.

Sorry/happy to have helped rip the bandaid off that coping mechanism for you. Hope it wasn't too load-bearing...

Anyway. I'm starting EMDR trauma therapy for this soon because I haven't been able to gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss DBT my way out of this one, so, y'know, really puts the trauma of masking in perspective when you have to resort to the same desensitization and reprocessing therapy you use to cope with the cPTSD from literally almost dying.

I'll let you know how it goes.

I dont want to sound like an elitist but the people who write tv shows arent doing a good job

There was literally a massive strike last year about how TV writers have been systematically getting fucked over for years and have been suffering under corporate meddling.

Problems in television getting boiled down to "the writers are doing a bad job" isn't "elitist," it's a completely ignorant denial of the actual issues in the industry. TV writers are largely poor and exploited workers trying to create art under brutal conditions.

The industry still hasn't recovered from last year's dual strikes, and IATSE has been busting ass trying to avoid a third one here in 2024. There are countless writers out of work or quitting the industry entirely because it doesn't pay enough to live on.

If the writing on a specific show doesn't work for you, it doesn't work for you, but brushing aside an industry's worth of labor rights issues as "the writers aren't doing a good job" is grade-A bullshit.

TV writers are doing the best they can in an industry that hates them, and all the while, audiences are eager to heap more vitriol. It's no goddamn wonder people are quitting.

'You can't pour from an empty cup' applies to many aspects of life, and it's true for creative output. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

In this case, the cup is not only empty but it's actively being withheld by executives who are pissing the entire industry away because they'd rather die rich than allow others to make a living from creating art.

— Vincent Van Gogh

- Vincent van Gogh