im trying to go to sleep but i cannotttttt stop thinking about this and laughing
Listen, we have to keep this thing circulating on the internet for at least another two decades, because I have to believe that one day that little girl will be grown enough to stumble upon it and She Will Explain
this
a BOTTOM did this
Diversity win! The war mongering conquorer that inspired legions of war mongering conquerers was a bottom
Alright everyone it's time to go home
homophobes are not allowed to use computers because the inventor of the computer was gay
People think this is just a joke but Alan Turing was the inventor of the computer and his sexuality was illegal in his time (which was not even 100 years ago) and he was arrested. They put him on drugs that destroyed his genius brain and committed suicide a year after being covicted. He was gay and a war hero as well. He helped to break enigma which was a German code that they put all their messages through. He shorted WWII by two years and saved so many lives in the process.
Friendly reminder that if not for Alan Turing you wouldn’t be reading this post and we might be ruled by the nazis
The Alan Turing statue on my campus
wait fuck this is soooooo important always reblog
I will never NOT reblog
DUDE???
I think my favorite jokes are the ones that weren’t even all that funny until I was an adult, and now they’re fucking hilarious. I’m not even talking about the dirty jokes. I’m talking about in Finding Nemo where the sharks are having fucking AA for fish eating. Remember that shit? “I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself.” Who ever thought of that? That was brilliant. Or what about that time in Shrek 2 where Shrek and Donkey infiltrate the castle pretending to be union workers? Little me didn’t give a shit about unions but big me is remembering Shrek going “It’s okay buddy, we’re from the union” and the desk worker secretively “we don’t even have dental,” and Shrek just shakes his head and looks at Donkey like he can’t believe this shit and goes, “They don’t even have dental.” What the fuck. I’m dying of laughter. Who comes up with this shit.
Dirty jokes have their place but I kind of wish more “adult” jokes relied on “Things only adults would understand due to lack of life experience,” instead of “Things that are inappropriate for kids,”
The DMV/MVA scene in Zootopia. Lose my shit just thinking about it.
Yes! I live for SFW adult jokes! Even the ones where you don’t strictly have to be an adult in order to enjoy them. Like in Star Vs you see a married couple (Moon and River) bicker about doing a chore, and River’s like “but i just collected all that firewood!” And Moon just deadpan says “I gave birth to our child.” And River fucking takes it and agrees. And Moon chuckles and says “I can’t believe that still works.” Meanwhile I’m dying.
Popeye being non-binary is NOT what I expected to see on my timeline today but good for them
Please look at this bowl, made in Egypt almost 6000 years ago. Look at it.
I love it. Thank you for your time.
Yeah!!
Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.
The poll winner seems to be “depends on whether you like him” which is super valid.
Mine watches fox news so “mom’s husband” it is!
My family has a great way of distinguishing between a new spouse you like and new spouse you disdain!
Your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are actually a cool person, you use their first name. So if you were to introduce them they would be: Aunt Jane and Bob.
If your mom/aunt/grandma/etc remarries and they are a fuckwad you introduce them as: this is Aunt Jane and her second husband. The implication being that they are very replaceable and that we’re all just waiting for her to wise up to the situation and serve you divorce papers, she did it once, she can do it again.
MAGNIFICENT
Alright, but what if my mom on her third marriage found a decent man, but my mother herself is shitty
"my stepdad's wife"
@sapphic-sargent your tags omg
You are doing God’s work
Two boys with a very bad habit of smoking while staring at the city.
Here’s the full version...
"just not seeing enough people talking about carl clemons-hopkins, the first out nonbinary actor to be nominated for an emmy, and the nonbinary flag gown they wore last night"
I just don’t understand why when it comes to historical periods we’re so focused on eras like the 1920s when the Precambrian Era is RIGHT THERE
Precambrian had it all. asteroid & volcanic catastrophic events. unbreathable atmosphere & oceans filled with boiling magma. lifeforms limited to single-celled organisms. encapsulates 90% of Earth’s history and was highly hostile to life. i want to go BACK
I’m actually an aspiring paleontologist and this whole precambrian era made single-celled organisms and brought water and proteins to earth on meteors. You know how life was made? Simple protein sacs made by the ocean being full of RNA that got struck by lightning
So we’re all descendants of toasted meat cells?
not toasted
flambéed
Actually if we’re talking cooked via electrocution there’s only one food that I know of that is cooked with that method.
So congratulations everyone, we’re all ancestrally related to panko bread crumbs
Or Triscits
Some quick googling (I’m not American so I’ve never heard of Triscuits) reveals that sadly Triscuits are only our etymological relatives in a sort of two stage abstraction.
Triscuits while indeed being named by combining the words electricity and biscuit (elec-TRI-city + bi-SCUIT) and early advertising slogans for the brand called them the first electrically baked biscuits. The reason for the name and the advertising claim is that Triscuits are old enough to predate electricity, the electrical cooking in this case actually refers to the fact that the ovens in which they baked the Triscuits in were electric ovens (and not coal or gas ovens) supposedly powered by hydroelectricity from Niagra falls.
Anyway, Panko breadcrumbs on the other hand are quite literally cooked with electricity. We’re talking, sticking two conductive plates into the dough and running a current though the whole mix. The unique cooking method is what produces Panko’s unique flakey texture as the electrocooking doesn’t actually produce a lot of high temperatures instead producing a very “even” bread without any outer crust.
As a fun return to the original topic. Passing an electric current through a mixture of organic compounds in water could be used to describe both the making of panko and the formation of life in the precambrian era.
This is about Sci-Hub. yeah we get it.. gatekeep knowledge and protect the interests of capital…
Listen, this is serious.
It lets people access scientific articles for free. This is dangerous. It helps the free flow of knowledge and reduces the competitive edge of all the people who worked really hard to have been born into a wealth.
Like, it’s literally a website where you can type in the DOI of an article and read it, without ever having to pay the publisher who exploited the author.
So, again, do not, under any circumstance, use Sci-Hub. I mean, can you imagine a world where knowledge is free and easily accessible to everyone? Even, y'know, poor people?
Libgen also has many books online, including textbooks, searchable by name, author, and ISBN. Can you imagine textbook companies not getting their hard-earned income from poor college students? Here is the link just so you make sure that you never accidentally stumble across this horrible, unethical website.
Oh, and while we’re talking about books, if you’ve managed to stay clear from Libgen, definitely don’t go to zlibrary, where you can also find a lot of textbooks, but unfortunately they’re completely free.
Kinda gay to make a wanted poster… why do you want that man? So you can hold him?
Yeah. Hold him accountable.
Hold him accountable for stealing your heart?
being a non native english speaker and having picked it up through a lot of different things is pretty funny because you end up using words like “y’all” and “whilst” in the same sentence. keeps native speakers on their toes
whilst y'all been nursing at yer ma’s tit, i hath studied that there Ænglisc vocabulary, innit
Poggers, verily
Ever since that Steven universe smut blog turned out to be a republican senator I knew I’d never leave this hell site. You just don’t get drama like that anywhere else
im sorry What
the way they just dropped this bomb and did not follow up. king
so i dug into this…
although they did send this ask to multiple people, someone in the comments suggested it was senator mike folmer (resigned in 2019)
the email address that senator mike folmer used to sign up for tumblr was jaymichael143@yahoo.com
did you know you can look users up by email if you go to your following page? i didn’t lol but if you enter his address
you get a snarky message from tumblr staff about your choice to follow the account they closed for child pornography run by a US senator, which was hoser44… of course, all the posts are gone
however, if you enter hoser44.tumblr.com into the wayback machine, there are results
verdict:
inconclusive. mike folmer did not run a steven universe blog. he ran a MILF blog, which was shut down for posting child pornography. perhaps the anon is referring to a different republican senator…?
HELLO?????
What other website will you get this many slaps in the face
ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
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ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
Imagine an alien sharing a cool human fact they just learned like ”hey guys did you know that the silvery markings on humans actually aren’t true stripes? They’re called stretch marks, they happen when the human is growing fast enough to actually outgrow their skin, which is apparently something that just fucking happens to almost all of them at some point of their life.”
and another one is like ”wait so you’re saying humans don’t have stripes.”
”actually they do, but the stripes are invisible. There’s genetic code that’d give them stripes but they’re just the same colour as the rest of the skin. So the visible stripes are not real stripes and the real stripes are invisible.”
”I swear if you tell me one more weird human thing today I’m beating your ass.”
The human in the room looks up and goes "Wait I have stripes?"
"what do you mean cats can see them, but I can't?"
what do you fucking mean cats can see them
I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THOUGHT PROCESS
MY CAT THINKS I HAVE STRIPES?!?!?!?
NO NO ITS NOT "IT THINKS I HAVE THEM"
BECAUSE WE DO APPARENTLY
SO ITS ACTUALLY A VERY DISTRESSED "MY CAT THINKS I KNOW I HAVE STRIPES?!?!?!"
AND I THINK THATS A BIT WORSE TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST
@beenovel @messiambrandybuck these are the variants
WHAT
apparently there's a disease where they become visable, and these are the most common kind??
Ngl it looks cool but???? I'm still in shock tbh
I NEED TO KNOW WHAT PATTERN OF STRIPES I HAVE AND THE CATS WON'T TELL ME
