Perfectly Wrong
Peter Parker x Reader
Summary: You realize you were always his second option.
Warnings: ANGST!, Bad ending, Idiot Peter, mentions of alcohol, mentions of being drunk.
"You don't understand. You just don't get it, y/n" Peter denies looking at the floor.
"What don't I understand?" you ask with tear-filled eyes. "Why is it so hard for you to explain things to me, Peter?"
"Because even if I explained it to you, you wouldn't understand." He denies again. "Not like her."
"Not like her?" Your heart hurts just hearing it. It's true that Peter is drunk, but it doesn't mean his words hurt you any less.
"You're never going to understand it like she did." Peter takes another sip of his beer. He had started drinking since he heard that his ex-girlfriend from high school, MJ, was getting married.
But you didn't know that.
"You're drunk. It's not the best time to talk," you hold back your tears as best you can and try to take the beer from his hands.
"No! Leave the fucking beer there" he exclaims and wipes his nose.
You had been dating for a year. However, Peter never got over his ex. Not really.
"This isn't you, Peter. You're not being yourself" you beg him to stop. You love him so much that you beg him to shut the fuck up and let you stay in the fairy tale in your head where you're the only one he loves.
"This is the only way I can be honest. Without this-" he lifts the beer. "I'm a fucking coward." He laughs sarcastically.
"Stop, please stop," you beg. This isn't him, this is just the alcohol speaking for him. You try to remind yourself.
"She's getting married, dammit!" He throws the beer against the wall making you jump.
"She's going to marry someone else because I never told her who I was. Because I never made her remember me," he sobs.
"Who are you talking about, Peter?" your vision blurs with tears. He's clearly talking about another woman but you don't know who.
"She would have understood by now." he looks at you with disappointment. "Why can't you be smart like her?" he mutters.
The words cut like knives. They are darts thrown straight at your heart.
"I'm sorry" you wipe away your tears and feel yourself trembling. Not from fear, but from anxiety.
"MJ, my ex-girlfriend is marrying some random asshole." He gets up to get another beer. "And it's all my fault."
"Peter, your words are hurting me," you admit. You want him to stop. You really want him to stop. He was never like that.
"Hurting you? I'm the one who's hurting!" Hiccups. "The love of my life is marrying someone else!" He walks to the door. "I need some fresh air."
'The love of my life' you thought you were the love of his life. Whatever it is you don't want to go down without a fight.
"Wait! Tell me what can I do to make you stay. What can I say so that you won't leave. I need to know how to fix this!" You exclaim.
Strange Peter turns and stares at you with wild eyes.
"There's nothing you can do, y/n. Like I said before, you're not her. You're never going to be her and I want to die at the thought of it." He tenses his jaw and mumbles. He looks like a real psycho.
"This isn't about me. It's not about us. It's about you and I don't want you to do something stupid that you're going to regret." You try to reason with the stranger in front of you. Now you understand why Peter didn't like to drink alcohol.
"Oh, trust me. I'm already regretting it" he nods and presses his hands against his red eyes.
"We were fine, Peter" you reason crying your eyes out. "Everything was fine" your head is racing. "Why is this happening?" you feel the air rushing out of you.
The pressure in your chest becomes too much, you find it hard to breathe, your vision is blurred and you squat down with tears in your eyes and your hand pressed against your chest trying to calm down even though you feel like you are dying.
That's when Peter understands and stops, you are having a panic attack.
He slowly approaches you as if testing the waters and kneels down in front of you to help you breathe. Apparently the consequences of his actions threw him into an immediate wave of sobriety.
"Breathe in. Breathe out with me," he murmurs with his hand on your back.
Even though you want to pull away because he hurt you, you don't. You can't. His body heat feels good and slowly you feel yourself recovering.
"I didn't even know there was anyone else, Peter," you murmur between sobs as your breathing calms. "If I had known I wouldn't have let myself fall in love with you," you confront him. How could he do this?
"I shouldn't have drunk. I turn into someone else when I do, I'm sorry," he says honestly, but for you it's too late. Parker broke you from the inside out.
"I'm sorry the love of your life is getting married. Even though I thought I was the love of your life." You look at him sadly. You don't know what to do. You just know that staying hurts more than leaving so you get up.
"Y/n I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I blew up and I shouldn't have done it, I- I don't know what came over me." He speaks. The remorse in his voice is more than noticeable. "Don't go, we can fix it," he tries to speak even though he knows is too late. He's screwed up.
"You gave me a lot of things Peter... although those things were thorns when you promised roses" you walk away slowly. You try to work up the courage to leave him.
"Wait wait wait. What I said doesn't mean anything."
"It was all a lie" you stare at the floor. Emotions subside, reason appears. "You never loved me" you deny. "My God, it was all a farce. I want it to stop" you cover your eyes with your hands wishing that if this is a nightmare, you wake up now. But you don't, 'Cause what is happening is happening in real life.
"Stop it. It's not true," Peter denies. "You know I do love you. I-" he pauses to think about his words. "It's the alcohol's fault. This isn't me, you know me y/n" he struggles as a drowning man moves his hands and legs to save himself.
"You were only with me because you couldn't be with her, Parker!". You scream in frustration. The truth is like a bath of ice water. "I was your second choice all this time. And why? You were lonely? You didn't want to wake up in an empty bed? WHY?!" you scream. "Why?" You scream again.
"I thought I was ready for a new relationship. I waited years to date someone else after her." clarifies Peter. "I just have these feelings sometimes and I can't control it."
"You don't have to control them from now on. You're on your own, Benjamin" you wipe away your tears and shake your head. "I deserve better" you nod "I hope you get over her and can move on with your life" you walk away.
"And what about what we promised?" He asks. He is desperate for you not to leave.
"It went all to trash when you decided to love two people at the same time" you talk without looking at him. "Don't look for someone else until you are ready, Peter" you glare at him. "You don't get how much it hurts".
And just like that, the front door closes. You're gone.
