pure confusion.

i don’t really wanna DO the work today I don’t really wanna do the work toDAY i don’t really wanna do ! the work ! today ! i don’t wanna do the WORK today

what if we’re all minecraft creations and the blocks are just really really tiny

Atoms

full offense but i hope a certain someone does well in life and finds joy and love that they deserve

The Magicians 3x04

Holy shit, night vale.

me, dumping a load of freshly washed but unfolded laundry on my bed: boy i’m sure gonna be pissed about this when i want to go to bed

full offense but we will rock you by queen is 10000% a gay rights anthem and straight people dont have any rights to the song sorry :/

“Buddy, you’re a young man, hard man Shouting in the street, gonna take on the world someday You got blood on your face, you big disgrace Waving your banner all over the place”

like how can u hear that verse and think its a song for hetties idk how much more obvious it can be :/ :/ :/

Y'all big mad in the notes

Actually every song by Queen is a lgbt anthem

Don’t Stop Me Now is the bisexual anthem to end all bisexual anthems and you will not change my mind

Heteros are really pressed in the notes keep reblogging this

Why are they booing this post, it’s right

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy–gay men’s anthem

Don’t Stop Me Now/Bicycle Race–pan/bi anthems

You’re My Best Friend–lesbian anthem

Mother Love–aro/ace anthem

Killer Queen–trans ladies’ anthem

Princes of the Universe–trans lads’ anthem

I’m Going Slightly Mad–nonbinary/genderfluid anthem

I Want To Break Free–everyone’s coming out anthem

it got better

how can one think any second that Queen is not 100% LGBT+ when they literally dressed like this in the I Want To Break Free clip

Bohemian Rhapsody as well lads. For the gays

me crossing the street on a bad day: ohhh nooo ;) please, car, don’t hit me ;)))

Reasons I believe my friend is secretly some kind of deity

1) First time we spoke was a week after the beggining of freshman year she summed up my entire character and most of the events of my life Sherlock style. I asked her how the hell she knew all that. She just shrugged and said she figured out our entire class already.

2) The one time we had religion class instead of ethics she listened to the teacher for a few minutes, laughed and told me:

“Humans have wished to be gods so much they’ve forgotten they have to ability to create them. Imagination has truly suffered from this ‘monotheism’ stuff.”

I was confused and asked her if she was an atheist. She rolled her eyes and said:

“Oh I believe in god alright. I just don’t think the bastard deserves to be worshipped.”

3) Out of nowhere she gave me this advice:

“The only truth a liar ever told was that lies weren’t going to save you. Don’t become the liar who has to pass that wisdom on, because they speak from experience.”

4) To this day, she has one of those old-timey phones with buttons she only uses to ocassionally call someone. When I asked her why she never got a smartphone she got pouty:

“I hate social media. On Facebook they talk a lot but never say anything. If I wanted to listen to people moan about their problems and ask for help they don’t expect I’d listen to their prayers.” (Notice the choice of words)

5) I noticed she was stiff and I offered her a massage since I’m really good at it but when i started kneading her back I swear to this day those were not muscles I felt. I asked her what she did to turn her muscles into rocks covered with a thin layer of skin and she kinda froze then shrugged and said she was just really, really stiff. My hands hurt after ten minutes when I can usually go for an hour. Next time I offered she seemed surprised and laughed. She still has rocks for muscles.

6) We were having a debate over the way neural pathways are formed (I study biology and she forensics) and I jokingly asked if I could have her brain for study when she dies. She laughed.

“Sure, if you find a way to kill me you can have it. I’m actually curious what you’re gonna find.”

7) One time she was tired and miserable and I tried to comfort her. We both have really dark sense of humor so I told her she could scare the dead out of their graves with that glare. She told me the dead can’t come back and I rolled my eyes and said ‘obviously’ but she continued:

“When you die you descend to the underworld with nothing to lose. To keep you, they give you something to lose. When you want to return, they will demand it back. That’s why nobody ever leaves. The only way out is to never enter.”

8) One day she just came up to me with a disappointed look on her face. When I asked her what was wrong she was quiet for a few seconds and then just told me:

“Betrayals committed in good intentions are still damning. Just… keep that in mind.” Then she left and didn’t speak to me for three days. I still don’t know what she meant but even three years later I haven’t forgotten it.

9) We were casually sitting on a bench when, out of nowhere, she asked me: “Is it just me or have humans gotten dumber? Or have they always been this stupid and I just haven’t been paying attention?”

10) She asked me if I ever wondered what it was like to die. I said no but told her I would tell her when I found out. I meant it as a ghost joke but she smiled at me and said:

“Great. I’ll wait for you to come back. Maybe you’ll even remember me.”

In conclusion, she is some kind of low-key god and she lost her faith in humanity even before we lost our faith in her but she’s stuck with us because immortality is a bitch.

P.S. I just remembered her name is a variation on ‘Eve’. Maybe I should reconsider my atheist status?!

Idk what you wanna believe but keep her

“Obviously ‘bihet’ offends a lot of bisexuals, so we need to come up with a better term for bisexuals in m/f relationships.”

How about… and hear me out… this may sound crazy…. but you… continue to call us bisexual… because (and I realize this gets confusing for you people so read this next part slowly) it turns out we continue to be bisexual regardless of who we’re dating.

Okay, this shit gets me all heated up. I’m just a cisgay dude up in here, but I have Some Opinions about this nonsense.

Bisexual people in relationships with folks of the other gender are not only themselves still bisexual (I’m really ashamed of a bunch of all that this shit even needs to be said, like c’mon), but their relationships are queer.

Yes, I just said that straight people can be involved in queer relationships without they themselves being queer.

The reason for this is simple: folks who are in relationships with queer people will always have to deal with their partner’s marginalization impacting their relationship. Always. Even if their bisexual partner chooses to be entirely stealth about their queerness (and that’s their right, by gods, fight me about it), their relationship is still impacted by that very choice existing. It’s a facet heterosexual relationships never have to negotiate.

Frankly, bisexual folks have to deal with active marginalization from multiple angles: heterocentrist and homocentrist. And in case I actually have to say this aloud? We should not be fucking marginalizing our own, y’all. That makes you a bad person, and you should feel bad.

To sum up: Bisexual folks are queer as hell. Straight folks can be in queer relationships without themselves ever being queer. And FFS please stop harassing bi- and pan-folks already, man. It’s 2018. Find hobbies that are not shitty.

I love this addition to my post so much thank you.

i wrote this in the tags originally and i know this post has 100k notes but you can quit it with the ‘cishet ace’ shit now too

#same energy

what do u mean i don’t have a social life I just went grocery shopping with my mom

shakespeare is not pretentious. fans of shakespeare are pretentious. shakespeare is twelve hundred dirty jokes strung together by increasingly ridiculous plotlines and increasingly homosexual characters. don’t let the archaic language fool you

👀👀 not gonna name names but SOME of u are sweet and kind and deserve the world and i am rooting for u

IN 2019 WE HEAL + WE THRIVE

*sniffs fanfiction like a fine wine*

Do I detect a hint of… bedsharing? Mutual pining perhaps?

Ahh…subtle undercurrents of fake relationships

I’m getting strong notes of slow burn and friends to lovers, with a touch of smut at the finish

*drops an enormous box wine on the table*

This is just smut. Entirely smut. This smut has never even seen a plot.

Yeah that’s my order

*rolls up with a growler of 16% craft beer*

OH MY GOD

*slams growler on the table*

THEY WERE ROOMMATES

*delicately sets 4-pack of violently neon green RTDs on the table*  Stuck in a car.  In a snowstorm.  Middle of nowhere. V. Cold.  Only one character has a Big Fluffy Coat. Cuddling with a side of mutual pining.  Best served with a slice of Things Mumbled While They Think The Other Character Is Asleep.

*pours all the unwanted dregs of a party’s worth of hard liquor into a single punch bowl, adds pinnaple juice, monster energy drink, and ground up Metabolife pills*

CRAAAAACK TIME! Try these amazing consentacles you aren’t sure you wanted but can’t stop getting refills of.

*blows dust off bottle of questionable/unknown quality*

Who would like a glass of vintage “first love reunion”?

*necks the whole box of red wine, straight from the box!*

A terrible case of unrequited love/ lust

*holds out two bottles of whisky*

What’ll it be bud? A nice smooth slow burn, or a raging hot fire of insta-love?

*a dirty snake bite and black*

Confused to hell about what this actually is but boy does it taste good!

*drinks a bizzare cocktail of slow burn, pwp and ultra sweet happy ending honey flavoured liqueur*

*burps*

*SLOW BURN SEX BUDDIES!!!*

Go home fic reader, you’re drunk.

I’ll have a fruity cocktail of Everyone Is Gay

*chugs bottle of sparkling grape juice*

It’s Awkward And Cute Marriage Proposal Time, y’all